


The Hat and the Heart

by ArtjuiceRP



Series: The Swan-Feather Cloak [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2018-01-27 02:31:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 64,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1711715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtjuiceRP/pseuds/ArtjuiceRP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SEQUEL TO 'THE SWAN-FEATHER CLOAK'</p><p>When Princess Emma makes another deal with Rumplestiltskin, Killian Jones vows to assist her, even if it means pulling an old friend out of retirement so he can accompany her to a new realm.</p><p>If only she would tell him exactly what the deal involves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's here! The sequel to 'The Swan-Feather Cloak'. If you haven't read that, I suggest you read it first so that you know what's going on.
> 
> Thanks to HawkEye733 for beta-ing! Hope you all enjoy this!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I don't own OUAT or the related characters!

## Chapter 1

When he was unconscious, Killian saw Emma. Every moment they’d spent together played through his mind, beginning with the moment he saw her on the docks, face hidden from view by her large cloak, so determined to board his ship. It almost felt as if he were experiencing each instant again. The memory of seeing her in Bismagar made him feel as awestruck as he had the first time, her beauty utterly overwhelming him. Each thought captivated him further, amazed that such a woman would deign to want him.

He knew that falling into an actual courtship, something he desperately wanted, would not be as easy as the simple affection they bestowed upon one another. Emma was scared of intimacy. She was scared of letting someone understand her. She was so worried about people leaving her that she refused to let them in.

Killian understood every single fear. Knowing such things simply made it even easier to love her. Despite all her fears, she had let him in and by doing so, she had brought light back into his world.

She had done so as soon as she had said that she was lucky to find him.

~~~*~~~

He awoke to an aching skull and an overpowering sense of peace, his eyes remaining closed for a few minutes as he enjoyed the feel of Emma’s hand running through his hair. The only thing invading his bliss, other than the pain in his head, was a nagging thought, one he dared to indulge for only a few seconds. If Emma had her son back with her, surely she wouldn’t be so intent on him.

His eyes opened slowly, Killian uncertain about what he would see. Emma was hovering over him, her gaze locked on him, stormy green eyes rimmed with red and tear stains painted down her cheeks. She was still beautiful and he had to take a moment to absorb everything. They were both alive, but Henry was nowhere to be seen and neither was the crocodile. They had both hoped for a better outcome, but Killian knew that whatever had happened was bound to be far more difficult for Emma.

Despite it being surprisingly difficult, Killian raised his good arm so that he could tenderly cup her face and brush her cheeks with his thumb, a gentle attempt to wipe away the tears. It was only when he touched her that she noticed he was awake, and Killian watched in wonder as her entire countenance softened and she leant down to bury her face in his shoulder. He brought his hooked arm around her waist, pulling her completely against him and anchoring her to him when he buried his hand in her hair. The embrace seemed to open up the barrier Emma was using to hold back tears, shaking in his arms as she sobbed.

“Emma?” he muttered, desperate to comfort her with his quiet words. “Please tell me what happened. Where’s Henry?”

At the question, she shook her head, so he simply held her tighter and waited for her to be ready to tell him. Killian wanted to do something to stop her hurting, but as he was unaware of what had happened since he had lost his grip on the Dark One’s dagger, he had no idea what she needed.

Emma didn’t cry for long, her sobs fading into hushed sniffs. Killian shifted, using his hand to tilt her head so he could meet her gaze, once again brushing the tears from her face, lifting himself from the floor to press a soft kiss to each cheek. “What happened, love?”

“He still has Henry.” she murmured, Killian having to strain to hear her words. “After everything, even though Henry was right in front of us, even though he remembered me, Rumplestiltskin took him away again.”

“We will just have to go and get him back then, darling.” he soothed, pushing some of her hair back from her face. “If we take Henry back and leave Rumplestiltskin alive, there will be nothing to concern us. In fact, I believe that Rumplestiltskin himself would find it prudent to break such a curse. Once Henry is by our side, he has little to worry about regarding Rumplestiltskin’s death. However, by tethering Henry’s life to his, Rumplestiltskin has made himself mortal once more. And I assure you, Rumplestiltskin will not want that.”

“We can’t go and get him back, Hook.” Emma sighed, although, to his relief, she did seem comforted by his words. “We are not going to be able to take Henry back with the Dark One still alive. And we’re not going to kill Rumplestiltskin when doing something like that will kill my son.” She pulled away from him, Killian grasping at the air between them for a moment before dropping his hand back to the ground, surprised by her distance but aware that now was not the time to be concerned with such things. “I made a deal. I do something for Rumplestiltskin and then I get Henry back.”

Killian felt cold, remembering the promise Rumplestiltskin had made centuries ago. He and Milah’s lives for a magic bean. As valued as Rumplestiltskin’s deals were, Killian knew from experience that not all deals were kept. “A deal?” he repeated, his voice harsh as he dwelled on the thought, and he regretted the question as soon as Emma flinched away from him. “Do you trust him to keep it?”

“I have to.” she told him, her voice wavering slightly. Killian wished he hadn’t questioned her actions, knowing she would feel better if he had trusted her without any second thought. “Don’t I?” She swallowed, standing up and brushing dust off her cloak. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to help me. I can imagine that deals with Rumplestiltskin aren’t things you want to get involved in.”

“I never said that I wouldn’t help.” Killian insisted immediately, wanting to remove any doubts she may have about his willingness to remain by her side. With a groan, he finally stood up, moving instinctively to be next to her. “Of course, I’d appreciate knowing what I’m signing up for.” Killian waited for a few moments, watching as Emma’s gaze hardened, a shadow in her eyes betraying a secret she wasn’t ready to share. Killian glanced down, rubbing his thumb against his nose as he sighed. After everything, he had assumed Emma wouldn’t keep the specifics of the deal to herself. However, she seemed determined not to tell him, watching him warily as if her sudden secrecy would lead him to keep his distance. “It’s not a requirement though.”

She smiled weakly, the first smile since he had awoken to find her stare locked on him, as Killian stretched. He wanted the aches to go away so that he would be able to help as soon as Emma was ready to commence with whatever the mysterious contract involved.

Killian desperately wanted to know what deal Emma had made.

To distract himself from any questions, Killian straightened his coat and wandered over to the far side of them, bending down to pick up the silver music box. Henry had dropped it when his memories had returned, and when Killian turned the small key to wind it up, the lullaby was stilted and broken. “It may not sound as beautiful anymore, but it is by no means less precious.” he stated, turning to hold the ornate box out to Emma. “I assume that we’ll be taking this with us.”

Killian watched as she gazed at the music box in his outstretched hand. Whatever deal Rumplestiltskin had made with her, she had become far more uneasy in his presence than she had ever been before. After a moments thought, she looked back at him and shook her head. “It’s broken. Who needs anything that’s broken?”

Head tilted, Killian gazed at her. He had sensed a more meaningful layer present in her comment, her sudden self-doubt surprising him and making him want to reach out and assure her that there was no way she wasn’t needed. Before he could attempt such an action, she turned her back and stepped away, walking slowly towards the double doors leading out the castle. He hurried to catch up, the music box still in his hand, taking his place at her side and hoping she would be less eager to move away from him this time.

“Can you at least tell me where we’re going?” Killian asked, catching her shoulder gently with his hook in an attempt to stop her. “I know this land better than you. I can help.”

“Knowing this land isn’t going to help.” she snapped, glancing down when Killian smiled softly at her. “This land isn’t the right one. This _realm_ isn’t the right one. We need to go to Oz. Have you even heard of such a place?”

He shrugged, the name unfamiliar to him. “Unfortunately not. I suppose our realm travelling adventures will simply have to begin with just the two of us.” He raised an eyebrow, an almost mischievous grin spreading across his face. “We’d better make it good. When Henry is back at your side, he’ll want to hear every single detail, will he not?”

She raised her eyes back to his, apparently overwhelmed with his certainty in her and his grin widened. “You seem remarkably unconcerned about how we’re going to make it to Oz. You’ve told me before that crossing realms is difficult.”

“And I’ve also told you that I happen to know just the person.” he told her with a shrug, stepping past her to hold open the doors. “Luckily for us, he lives nearby. Apparently, realm jumpers receive better business when they live in a location saturated with sorcerers.”

Emma stepped through the doors, Killian following her out of the castle, focussed on trying to figure out why Rumplestiltskin would be sending them to another realm and what he could possibly want. The only thing that was clear to him was that Rumplestiltskin had taken Henry and left, the entire dark castle eerily quiet when he and Emma weren’t talking.

As Emma stopped at the castle walls and the gates opened onto Sherwood Forest, she turned to face him with a panicked glint in her eye. “Your friend, this realm jumper? He can get us back, right? It won’t be a one-way trip, will it? We need to be able to come home.”

“We’ll get back.” Killian promised, his confirmation seemingly persuading Emma to finally step away from the Dark One’s castle, Killian only a step behind her. “This method of transportation isn’t exactly meant for one-way journeys.”

~~~*~~~

Killian led the way through the forest, this time travelling east along the cliffs that marked the edge of Sherwood and the beginning of the vast ocean, a neverending ribbon of turquoise. Emma was staying quiet, walking a few steps behind him instead of standing by his side, making Killian glad that at least he had the view of the sea to keep him from wondering why Emma was reluctant to stand by him.

Even the sea could not distract him for long. Each step brought another memory of everything that had just passed, the pirate unable to stop dwelling on the fight with Rumplestiltskin, knowing that whatever Emma had felt during the moments before they entered the Dark Castle was no longer certain. He knew she had been happy, with their reunion and the belief that her son would be with her again, but now such optimism had been taken from her and her son even more cruelly removed from her side.

He paused, turning back to face her, noticing that she was oblivious to his scrutiny of her, slowly trudging up to him. She faced the floor, golden hair bedraggled and a slight redness to her face, the only remaining evidence that she had been crying. She was still as beautiful as ever, but he wished the sadness exposed in her entire countenance wasn’t there. Killian wished there were no reasons for her to be unhappy.

Emma was paying such little attention to her surroundings that she stumbled into him, Killian reaching out to steady her when she wobbled slightly. “We need to rest, Emma. I understand you want to get to Oz as soon as you can, but after everything that’s happened today, you do not want to be exhausted.”

Her lack of response made him look back out to sea and he stepped away from her, toes touching the edge of the cliff. Emma didn’t follow, staying stock still as he moved away from her. He didn’t look at her, able to see her white cloak fluttering in the breeze just out of the corner of his eye. He couldn’t see her face, but Killian thought he knew what she was thinking.

She didn’t want to stop. Emma wanted to get her son back. On the other hand, he was certain that she was desperate for a rest.

He didn’t like this uncertainty. He wanted to know what he could do to make her feel better, except he hadn’t been prepared for this. After their weeks aboard the Jolly Roger, and his recent encounter with the witch, he had expected to escape Rumplestiltskin, Henry alongside them, and then they would embark on a different adventure. An adventure without a risk of death.

He started slightly when he felt her hand take his, turning to see that she had stepped to his side. She wasn’t looking at him, hood raised as if she wanted to hide the evidence of her tears. He smiled at her, the smile almost apologetic at first, softening when she leant into his side. He could feel the length of her body pressed against him and he hoped that his presence was giving her some sort of comfort, her hand tightening around his as she lifted her face to return a weak smile. “Maybe a rest would be a good idea.” she murmured, sounding reluctant to admit just how tired she was.

Carefully, Killian moved back from the cliff, leading Emma towards what looked like the most comfortable tree and trying not to think too much about how she was insisting on being so close to him. He sat between the roots, tugging her down to rest between his legs, her head leaning back to lie against his chest. Killian nudged the hood away from her face, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. She sighed, cuddling further into him as his hooked arm curled around her waist.

“Killian?” she whispered, and he had to move his head closer, his chin brushing the top of her head, to hear her. “This deal? It’s not that I don’t trust you.”

“I didn’t think it was, sweetheart.” he murmured, the confirmation coming as a relief even though he hadn’t thought he needed it. “If you want to tell me, I’ll be here.”

“I _do_ want to tell you.” Her voice was even quieter, almost as if she didn’t want anyone to hear. “It’s just that this deal, this thing I have to do, it’s not something I would have ever done. And now, I have to do it. I was looking forward to travelling realms and now…”

She trailed off, and Killian kissed the side of her head again, his hand reaching up to comb gently through her hair. “It’s still an adventure. Maybe we’re not looking for something we actually want, but it doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy this. We’re still together, after all.”

“I wanted our trip to be something that we chose to do.” she admitted, turning her head so her voice was muffled in his chest. “With Henry. As a family.”

For a brief moment, he couldn’t breathe. Her admittance was something he had never dared to hope he would hear, even though he had only recently accepted that it was truly what he wanted. He caught his breath, torn between letting her sleep or slipping his hand from her hair, brushing his fingers along her cheek and lifting her face so he could capture her lips.

Emma yawned, and the decision was easy.

~~~*~~~

Although Emma was silent for the entirety of their walk the following day, her hand remained tightly tangled with Killian’s as he led her further along the coast. She seemed slightly more content, Killian having told her that they would reach the realm-traveller by sunset. As comfortable as the silence was, her words from last night echoed in his mind and soothed his occasional worries about their upcoming ordeal.

However, he couldn’t repress the nagging fear that despite their mutual trust, Emma wouldn’t tell him. Killian knew that their initial conversations, about her old fiancé, had been forced upon Emma. Only after he had lowered his own walls had she fully let him in. He had no walls left, and Rumpelstiltskin's deal had built hers back up, perhaps lower than before, but just as present.

Killian inhaled deeply before coming to a halt. Their destination was only steps away, a thin stream of smoke visible in the distance. Before their realm travelling commenced, he needed her to know that this deal wouldn’t come between them. As much as she trusted him, he knew that Baelfire’s abandonment of her had made her fear such trust, and if the deal was truly as bad as it appeared to be, she had to be aware that nothing would ever make him leave her side.

He turned to her, raising her hand to his lips for a warm kiss before speaking. “I know you don’t want to tell me.” he started, seeing her tense when she realised where the conversation was heading. “I know it’s bound to be difficult, especially given that we both believed Henry would be with us by now. But, even unsaid, this deal is hurting you and I want to know what I can do to help.” He raised his hand to brush her cheek slightly, a knowing smile spreading across face when she leaned into his touch. “I can’t stand seeing you like this, Emma.”

“If I say it out loud, then it’s real.” she whispered, so low Killian could have missed it and that was when it struck him that she wasn’t keeping quiet because she didn’t want to tell him. She wanted to deny it to herself. Emma wanted to pretend that nothing was wrong, as if they weren’t traversing realms at the Dark One’s bequest. If that was what she wished, then Killian would happily comply.

“You’ll have to face up to that one day, my love.” he told her, seeing her relax when he neglected to press her for further details. “But I need to tell you one small thing. You will not have to deal with this alone. No matter what you have to do, I will be by your side.” He laughed quietly, Emma appearing utterly taken aback by his vow. Before she could snatch her hand back, he raised Emma’s hand to his chest, holding it against his heart with his good hand, and watching in adoration as her eyes widened and her breathing grew shallow. “Don’t you know, Emma, that from the first moment I saw you, I have wanted to always be at your side?”

Instead of backing away as Killian had expected, she shifted closer, her hand remaining against his heart even after his own hand dropped away, their toes touching and chests brushing with every breath. “Why didn’t you kill Rumplestiltskin, Killian?”

He hadn’t expected this question, not so soon after everything, but he couldn’t stay silent. He needed her to know the truth. He didn’t want her to try and reason out his decision, because he knew she would never accept that he had given up his revenge for her. She had spent so long trying to convince him otherwise, the two of them unaware that he had abandoned his quest for vengeance the instant he met her, that he was certain she wasn’t ready to trust the idea that he had chosen her.

“Do you truly believe I would allow your son to die in order to kill the Dark One?” he asked first, the idea of doing such a thing horrifying him.

“No. But I thought you would try to find another way. That you would try again.”

“I’m through trying.”

“You told me, on your ship, that you would regret not trying far more than you would regret failing.” Emma stated, seemingly still too uncertain to realise what he meant. Killian bit his lip, remembering what Emma had told him after Jukes had spoken about Liam and convinced her to return to the ship.

“Emma, I’ve tried for three hundred years.” Killian sighed, the dark memories of Neverland something he preferred to ignore. “When we spoke of regret, I was still trying to deny the truth. And that truth is that I would always regret hurting you, leaving you, far more than I would regret not trying. The moment I let you on my ship was the moment you became far more important to me than any vengeance and you must believe that I am sincerely sorry that my own denial made you believe, for even a second, that I would ever abandon you.” He paused, meeting Emma’s gaze for the first time since her question. She was frozen in place, a tear escaping the moment he was caught in her stare, and he reached up to brush it aside, her breath stuttering at the contact. “You have to know that I would never choose Rumplestiltskin’s death, my death, over a lifetime with you. I will stand by your side until you will no longer have me with you.”

He swallowed, his own words having made the air hang heavy around himself and Emma, saturated with unspoken phrases, and he couldn’t look at her. For a moment he felt as if he was suffocating, unable to breathe and choking on words he wanted to say but knew she wasn’t ready to hear, and then he felt her gentle touch on his chin, on his heart, and he lifted his eyes to meet hers.

She had never looked at him that way before and he needed to treasure it. Killian needed to remember every single aspect of her glorious face, except before he could, Emma pushed herself up and pressed her lips against his.

He didn’t need a moment to respond, his arm snaking around her waist and pulling her fully against him, hook resting gently against her back, hand tangling itself in her hair. He moved his lips under hers, this first kiss further affirmation that he was completely _hers_ , that from the moment she had stepped upon his ship she had been the only one who could have stolen his heart. Killian felt, in that unending moment, that he needed Emma’s kisses to breathe. He _knew_ that being with Emma meant the end of his life as he knew it, and as he deepened the kiss, Emma’s hand moving away from his heart in order to grasp at his shoulders, he was utterly certain that he would never want to go back to the way it had been before.

Emma had changed _everything_.

He pulled away, breathing deeply as he leant his forehead against hers, the tips of their noses brushing slightly. Killian didn’t want to speak. He was content to simply listen to Emma’s soft giggles as they held one another close. He beamed down at her, his thumb lightly caressing her jaw, his fingers still twisted in her hair. In response, Emma wrenched him back towards her, their lips meeting once again as Killian stumbled forwards. The kiss only faltered when Emma’s back hit the nearest tree, another breathy giggle escaping her lips when Killian embedded his hook in the bark just above her shoulder.

He didn’t want to ever stop kissing her.

His lips crashed back to hers, a groan escaping him when she arched up towards him,  both of them becoming more desperate. He _needed_ to be closer to her. His kiss had to let Emma know just how much he loved her.

Emma seemed uncertain about where to put her hands, fingers trailing through his hair, over his shoulders, until she wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping him as close to her as possible. When she gently bit down on his lip, Killian sunk closer to her before wresting his lips from hers so he could start to trail open-mouthed kisses across her jaw and down her neck. Emma sounded so _happy_ , short sighs and breathless giggles coming from her each time he kissed her, and when he opened his eyes and glanced up, there was a brightness in her eyes that he had never seen before. A few more kisses and then she exhaled shakily, gripping his hair and pulling him back up to crush their lips together once more.

Hearing someone clapping, Killian froze, still wrapped up in Emma as he tried to figure out what was happening, his mind moving too slowly after everything that had just happened.

“You two seem very friendly.”

The familiar voice was all that stopped him from spinning to turn his blade on the fool that had interrupted them. Instead he felt only irritation, preferring to stay as he was. Now he knew that Emma was safe he was reluctant to stop kissing her, but their lips slowly broke apart when Emma nudged him away. She looked nervous, undoubtedly due to the many warnings he had given her about the inhabitants of Sherwood, but the sight of Killian grinning seemed to make her relax.

His hand resting lightly on Emma’s waist, he pulled his hook out of the tree and turned to face the interrupter. “Hatter.” he stated, the warning growl in his voice contradicted by the smile he couldn’t suppress at the sight of the familiar wild hair, bright scarf and faded brown coat. He chuckled when the hatter rolled his eyes.

“It’s been a while, Hook.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back! I've been away from Wifi and computer access for the past couple of months so updates were kind of impossible. I haven't written that much either as I was pretty busy, so unfortunately there won't be particularly fast updates now I'm back. I'm also heading back to Uni in a couple of weeks, so I have no idea when the next update will be. Hopefully soon!
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments last chapter! And, of course, big thanks to Hawkeye733 for the beta-ing. This chapter really needed it! Also, if you like Captain America, she's written something that you might enjoy.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! I enjoyed writing it! Please read and review!

# Chapter 2

 

Killian kept his gaze locked on the hatter as Emma untangled herself from him and moved closer to the tree, making sure there was a greater distance between her and the new arrival. Killian adjusted his own position, hoping to shield Emma from view. He wasn’t sure if the hatter could identify Emma on sight, but he would rather not risk it. Not until he was certain that the hatter would be willing to help them out.

“Hardly any time.” Killian stated warily in response, shrugging slightly. “Nothing at all compared to how long we’ve spent together. I have to say, Jefferson, I was honestly hoping I’d never see you again.”

“Well, that’s rude.” Jefferson answered with a short laugh, stepping nimbly beside Killian and pushing his hand past him to offer it to Emma. “Jefferson’s my name. The pirate seems to be leaving it to us to make ourselves acquainted. Who might you be?”

“Emma.” she answered tersely, ignoring the offered hand and shooting Killian a confused look.

“Really?” Jefferson barked another laugh, spinning back around and raising an eyebrow. “I’m impressed, Hook. You’re not dead yet and you’ve absconded with a Princess. I wasn’t aware that was part of your plan.”

“It wasn’t part of the plan.” Killian bit out, irritated that Jefferson had realised that Emma was the Princess so quickly. Clearly Jefferson was more aware of the Enchanted Forest politics than Killian had been, even though they had returned to the realm at the same time. The smirk across the hatter’s face suggested that Killian’s earlier attempt to shield Emma from view had not gone unnoticed. Jefferson had known who she was the minute he saw her.

“Not part of the plan? So, you just have a Princess with you for some fun. I’ll never doubt your pirating again.”

“I wasn’t aware that my pirating was in question.” Killian replied, stepping away from Emma and pulling Jefferson away, Jefferson’s stare lingering on Emma for a few moments too long. “Now I’d appreciate it if you kept her identity to yourself.”

“I don’t have anyone to tell anyway.” Jefferson said airily, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards. Killian looked intently at the hatter for a few moments and then relaxed, only then realising how tense he had been. Information about Emma was very valuable but Jefferson’s blasé response was enough to convince Killian that the secret was safe with him.

They’d worked together for long enough that Killian knew he could trust him.

He grinned and then in one quick movement pulled the other man to him in a tight embrace, releasing him finally with a clap on the shoulder. The familiarity seemed to finally persuade Emma to step forward, linking her hand with his once more, and then offering her free hand to Jefferson.

Jefferson shook her hand and then bowed flamboyantly, arm raised as if he was holding a top hat. “So why are you here?” he asked once he was standing again, expression hardening when he looked back at Killian.

“Now you’re the one being rude.” Killian said, a friendly grin spreading across his face. “I’m hurt that you sound so so unhappy to see me!”

“You wouldn’t be here without a reason, Hook. There’s only thing that I could be needed for and that’s something that I told you I wasn’t doing anymore.”

“I wouldn’t have come here if it wasn’t completely necessary. I’m sorry, Jefferson, but we need a favour.”

~~~*~~~

Jefferson had begrudgingly led the two of them to his cottage, his attitude much more solemn following Killian’s request. The cottage was small, with one simple bed tucked in the corner and a tiny iron stove providing the room with a comfortable warmth.

The hatter placed two mismatched stools around the table, offering the one good seat to Emma in a feat of chivalry that made Killian frown. Emma took the offered place with a subdued smile. The business discussion seemed to have brought her back to herself. However, Killian could see how exhausted the past few days had left her.

“We need the hat.” Killian stated, now eager to keep the conversation as short as possible. “And we may be gone for a while.”

“As I said, I don’t do that anymore. I’m retired.” Jefferson sounded petulant, his tone making Killian realise that he was still open to convincing. This was an issue he had been adamant about for years and to protect his own integrity he had to appear to protest now. However, Killian knew just how addictive the power to travel through realms at whim could be. If he was careful with what he said, Jefferson would help. The wrong words, and Jefferson would become stubborn. “I will fetch something for you, but personal travel isn’t happening.”

“Spare me this spiel.” Killian drawled with a roll of his eyes. “I’ve seen you use the hat before. I’m asking you as an old friend. Let us use your hat. You don’t have to be involved any further than handing it over and letting us jump right into it.”

“For old times sake?” Jefferson barked, his tone harsher than before. “You know exactly why I don’t travel anymore so don’t bring up the past in an attempt to sway me. You may have helped me once but I have returned the favour countless times, Hook. Why should I help you now?”

Killian exhaled, not sure what to say. He knew Jefferson. The right words or the right motive could convince him to do almost anything. It was something that had worked against him in the past, and as much as Killian regretted doing the same thing, he had no other way to travel through realms.

Emma shifted slightly in her seat and he reached out quickly to still her hand, noticing once again the desperation in her eyes. He needed to try harder, his focus even more intent on his old friend.

“Jefferson,” Emma started, the slight tremble of her voice indicating to Killian that she was actually nervous about talking to the hatter. He couldn’t blame her. She didn’t know the man well enough to realise that most of his vehement refusal was a front to convince himself as much as it was an attempt to dissuade her. “Please. Rumplestiltskin has my son. To get him back, I need to go to Oz. I need to get something for him.”

“Well that explains how the two of you became acquainted.” Jefferson replied with a wry smirk. Killian could hear the boredom in the hatters’ voice and knew that the comment had been made solely to make Emma aware that Jefferson too knew Killian’s secrets. “However, it is a shame that you’ve made a deal that you can’t keep. You’re going to have a lot of trouble reaching Oz without a way through realms. I’ve heard magic beans are impossible to find these days.”

Emma slammed her free hand against the table, causing it to wobble precariously for a moment. “I’ll give you anything. Money, jewels, anything! You know I can give it to you. I’m the Princess.”

“Desperation doesn’t suit you.” Jefferson muttered airily. “Honestly, I can’t see what Hook sees in you. From what I remember, he’s always preferred strong women. Like Milah.”

Killian’s gaze darted to Emma, a fierce anger washing over him when he saw her biting her lip. Her eyes were wet with tears that she was refusing to let fall. It wasn’t Jefferson’s comment that had upset her, he knew that much. Killian should have known that Jefferson would need convincing, but all he had told Emma was that he had a friend who would help. The tears were of frustration. If Jefferson wouldn’t help, Emma would know of no other way to travel.

“That’s enough, Jefferson.” Killian stated, raising Emma’s hand to his lips for a brief, comforting kiss before moving his own hard stare back to the hatter. “It appears you have some difficulty recognising strong women. I assure you, Emma is the strongest woman I have met in many years. She left everything behind to find her child, which is more than I can say for you.” His words seemed to physically strike Jefferson, an ugly sneer crossing the hatter's face. “Your sole reason for hanging up your hat was in order to spend time with your daughter once you were back in the Enchanted Forest. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it doesn’t look like she’s been here. What reason do you have for not helping?”

Killian felt a mixture of shame and triumph when Jefferson’s face paled, his dark-rimmed eyes a stark contrast to the white of his face. For a moment, Killian kept a wary eye on the hatter’s clenched fist, wondering if perhaps he had pushed him too far.

However, after a moment, Jefferson appeared to deflate. “Where are you going?” he asked, sounding utterly exhausted. “And how many of us will be travelling? You know the rules, Hook. The number of people going through is the same number of people who come back.”

“We’ve already told you where we’re going.” Killian told him. “We’re going to Oz.” He felt anxious for a moment when he saw Jefferson’s grimace. “Emma and I will be travelling and I gather you’ll be accompanying us.”

The hatter nodded in confirmation, moving to stand up as Emma reached out to catch his wrist. “Killian and I will be going to Oz, but we need to bring someone else back with us. Three people will go, but four people will be coming back.”

Killian turned to Emma, curiosity rising at the slight insight into their planned mission. Rumplestiltskin wanted Emma to bring someone back from Oz. Surely that was something the Dark One could do himself and he didn’t need Emma to complete such a quest. Surely the Dark One had his own way to traverse realms and he knew that he was familiar with Jefferson’s work. Why was he sending Emma to fetch someone for him? The thought made him worry. If there was something in Oz that was dissuading Rumplestiltskin from travelling there himself, Emma and Killian were walking right into its midst.

“Four people?” Jefferson repeated, running a hand across his face in exhaustion. “Or to be more exact, three there and four back?” Emma nodded at his words and he groaned. “It appears we shall be corpse-hunting this evening.”

“Corpse-hunting?”

“It’s not an enjoyable task.” Killian stated, standing from the table and looking down at the princess. “But it is one that must be done should we wish to return with an addition to our party.”

“We should go as soon as we can.” Emma announced, joining the two men on their feet and pulling her cloak tightly around her.

Killian caught sight of the tired lines on her face and grimaced, exchanging a quick glance with Jefferson before turning back to her and shaking his head. “The hatter and I will go. You should stay here, get some rest before we leave.”

Emma gaped at Killian, clearly not expecting to be told to stay behind, but on this he was determined to stand firm. She needed to sleep, and for all they knew, this was their last opportunity for a decent bed before they continued their journey. Besides, in Sherwood, it didn’t take three people to find a corpse.

“This is my quest.” she protested weakly, letting Killian take her gently by the elbow and lead her to the small bed. “My son. You shouldn’t be doing this without me.”

Killian heard the door swing shut and realised Jefferson had left the two of them alone. “This is the one thing we can do without you.” he murmured, watching as she clambered into the bed. She had to be tired if that was the extent of her protest. “One of us needs to get some sleep and I’d prefer it to be you. I’ve gone without sleep before. I can cope.”

“You’ll wake me as soon as you get back?” she mumbled, words slurring slightly as she dropped all pretences and revealed to him just how tired she was.

“As you wish.” he promised, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face now she was wrapped under the thin blanket.

She smiled up at him, a beautiful, dazed smile that made his heart stutter before he returned a soft smile of his own. He bent down, his hand caressing her face as he pressed his lips against hers. It was only meant to be a brief kiss goodbye, but the moment their lips touched, he felt warmth spreading through him and an urge to remain with her and leave the corpse-hunting to Jefferson almost overtook him.  Emma’s hand brushed the side of his face, settling in his hair as she gently tugged him nearer, her lips parting under his.

It was only when Emma sighed that Killian came back to himself and pulled away, resting his forehead against hers as he caught his breath. “Sleep, my love.” he muttered, lips brushing hers with every word, and then stood back up. He watched as Emma snuggled into the mattress, a soft, happy smile dancing on her lips, and he felt a flutter of pride at the fact he could make her smile like that even after the events of that day. With a last affectionate touch, a soft brush of his knuckles against her cheek, he strode out of the cottage.

~~~*~~~

_Claude was getting rather heavy. Killian had not been carrying the corpse for long, only a few metres, but in such an unfamiliar place, Killian would have preferred the use of both his hand and his hook._

_With an ungentlemanly grunt, he threw the body down beneath a ridiculously large mushroom, the guards head flopping backwards and resting against the stem._

_“You were marvellous company.” Killian muttered, adjusting his hook and his cuffs before striding away, hand resting lightly on the pommel of his sword._

_Killian didn’t know what he had expected when Regina sent him on this assassination mission. He had travelled between realms before but never to anywhere as strange as this so-called Wonderland. Neverland had been green, the jungle-covered island a wet, humid place with a dangerous variety of plants. Wonderland, however, was a lurid green, so bright that Killian felt an urge to cover his eyes._

_Everything in Wonderland was bright._

_Killian had hoped that the path to Regina’s mother would be obvious but all he could see past the brilliantly green fields and man-sized daffodils was a vast maze, with one entrance a few fields ahead of him. With a grunt, he pulled his sword from its sheath, holding it loosely in his hand as he proceeded towards the maze. He was always wary when he arrived in a new land, especially somewhere with such a bright, distracting facade._

_It took him only ten minutes to reach the edge of the maze, the hedges taller than they had appeared from a distance. With nowhere else within sight, he didn’t debate striding into the maze and following it’s twists and turns. Perhaps there were more entrances that he could find that could lead him to a town or a somewhere else to get information about Cora’s location, but from his current position he could only see the maze extending before him, impossibly huge. However, as he wandered into more dead ends, he grew more curious about what was held in the centre of the maze. Surely it wasn’t just here for decoration._

_He had the time to search._

_He traversed the different winding routes until he found an archway leading to a new area. There were no longer hedges creating the confusing maze plan, but many different stone steps and pathways, some staircases ascending to nothing and others travelling to what seemed to be a new plane, trees floating sideways and the pathways upside down. In the centre of the stonework was a building, possibly a mausoleum, but before Killian could approach, he heard a commotion, loud shouts and yells coming from the direction he thought was the entrance._

_He cursed, spinning around to look behind him, his shoulder clipping against the hedge. The moment he made contact with the bush, vines sprang out from behind him and wrapped around his arm, keeping him in place. He struggled, trying to pull his arm free, hearing the clatter of feet as the commotion moved closer towards him. He hacked furiously at the vines with his hook, but for each vine that fell to the ground, another one grew and trapped him just as quickly, trying to drag him back into the hedge._

_One arm still trapped, he kept the rest of his body as far away from the hedge as he could, hook held out as his sole method of defense when the guards arrived, halberds pointing towards him. “Are you the one who killed this man?” asked the guard closest to him, drawing Killian’s attention to the guard furthest away. The man had Claude draped over his shoulder. Clearly, leaving him behind had not been the best plan. “How did you get to Wonderland? Anyone who lives in Wonderland knows that you do not enter the maze of the Queen of Hearts.”_

_“I have a few tricks up my sleeve.” Killian answered, ducking down when one of the guards thrust their weapon towards him, the spear missing his head by mere inches. “Now, are we going to have this discussion like civilised gentlemen, or are you going to wait for this hedge to swallow me up? That last option is definitely bad form.”_

_The chief of the guard didn’t seem impressed, but he signalled for two of men to cut the vines away from Killian. Once his arm was free, they latched onto him and held him securely in place, grip too close to his hook for him to use it as a weapon. “The Queen of Hearts wants to speak to you.” he stated, a click of his fingers starting the other guards into action as they dragged Killian away._

~~~*~~~

Jefferson was leaning against the wall of the hovel when Killian emerged, an amused smirk crossing his face. “What took you so long?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow towards Killian. “From what I gather, we’re on a deadline.”

“Don’t push it, Jefferson.” Killian said, all irritation drained from his voice. “You’ve already made things far too difficult.”

Jefferson shrugged, pushing away from the wall and striding off into the woods, Killian close behind him. “You are asking a great deal of me. It shouldn’t be easy.”

“It hasn’t been.” Killian protested, quickening his steps so he was standing alongside the hatter. “I was hoping that you agreeing would be the easiest part of this whole endeavour. Any ideas where to find a corpse?”

“I was thinking, giving our limited time, it might be better to create a corpse instead of finding one.” Jefferson suggested, pulling a short knife out from his belt and spinning it between his fingers. “Reducing the amount of magicians in this forest is a favour to everyone, I assure you.”

“So your plan is murder, is it?” Killian asked, eyebrow raised in disapproval. “Anyone in mind or are you happy to just take the life of whoever crosses our path first?”

“Murder is such a harsh word.” Jefferson muttered, but Killian’s statement quietened him for a short time. Instead, they walked in silence, the cottage soon out of sight.

Killian had remained near the outer edges of the forest as he travelled with Emma, but this time, they moved deeper into the forest, where the trees grew closer together and darkness began to surround the two of them. They hadn’t seen movement in quite some time, animals clearly choosing to avoid this part of Sherwood, but Jefferson seemed to know where he was going.

After a couple of hours of silence, it was Jefferson who spoke up. “You and the princess. How did that happen?”

Killian barked out a laugh, surprised by Jefferson’s sudden interest. “It’s a long story.”

“We have time.” Jefferson pointed out, ducking under a low-hanging branch as they continued their trek. “I have to admit that I would like to know how your quest for revenge ended with this rather surprising scenario. You two definitely seemed close.”

“We were both searching for Rumplestiltskin. It’s not too strange that we crossed paths.” Killian answered, ignoring Jefferson’s incredulous gaze. “We agreed to help one another-”

“And then you fell in love?” Jefferson interrupted with a cheeky grin, which soon faded into a much more sincere expression. “It’s nice that you’ve found someone. As important as your revenge was to you, I am glad that you, at least, have something new to live for."

"And that's something I never thought would happen." Killian admitted. "Honestly, I think I'd been hunting for revenge for so long that I never really thought about why I still wanted it. It took me a long time to realise it but when it all came down to it, it turned out that revenge wasn't what I wanted anymore. Not enough to throw everything else away."

"At least one of us is getting a happy ending, even if it's not what you expected." Jefferson said, patting Killian on the shoulder as if in congratulations. "Makes all your years in Neverland worth it, doesn't it?"

Killian halted, watching Jefferson stride away from him. He had heard the bitterness in Jefferson’s voice and he felt the regret resurface. He shouldn’t have brought up Jefferson’s daughter in an attempt to get his help. The jibe had been a step too far, and Jefferson was failing to act as if it wasn’t bothering him.

Biting his lip, Killian reached out to grab hold of Jefferson’s wrist but Jefferson shrugged his grip away. “Look, mate, I want -”

“Not now.” Jefferson hissed, his wide gaze darting around to look between the many dark trees. “There’s something here.”

Killian hadn’t heard anything but Jefferson’s quick movements suggested that something had spooked the other man. Killian’s hand went to his sword, hook held out in front of him. Jefferson was in a similar position, knife trembling slightly in his outstretched hand.

“What is it?” Killian muttered, still unable to see any sign of anything ahead of them.

“I’m not certain, but I know who lives around here.” Jefferson murmured in reply, his voice almost inaudible. “If I remember correctly, his name is Gerhardt. Not that he knows that. I brought him here years ago, another favour to another friend of mine.”

“And he’s dangerous?” Killian questioned, stare drawn to the tight grip that Jefferson had on his knife.

“Most of the time. He’s violent. Too violent.” Jefferson answered, his voice tense. “His brother refused to stop him so I took him here instead, away from anyone else. If he attacks, we kill him. If not, we keep searching.”

“I doubt this Gerhardt’s brother would be happy if he heard the plan you just told me.” Killian observed, drawing his sword when he heard a crash nearby. “But if he is as violent as you believe, I would imagine killing him will be purely in self-defense.”

“Besides, he’s dead anyway.” Jefferson offered, clearly trying to sway Killian towards hunting out this man instead of continuing their search. “If we do use his corpse, we’re just returning things to the way they should be.”

Killian shot him a curious look. Bringing someone back from the dead was hardly a common practice. “You planned this, didn’t you?” he whispered. He could hear the heavy footprints of something stumbling closer towards them, but Jefferson had an unapologetically satisfied expression on his face that confirmed Killian’s question. “You can’t simply kill this man. Your friend wouldn’t be too happy about that. But if he attacks you first, your friend can’t complain. You did him a favour and you couldn’t do anything but defend yourself when his brother attacked you. Needing a corpse just gave you an excuse to do this now.”

“It’s going to be easier with you here.” Jefferson confirmed, taking a small step so Killian was stood in front of him when the man - no, the monster - staggered out from behind one of the trees.

Whatever it was, the thing was taller than the both of them, a deathly pallor to his skin. It wore a tattered uniform that had at one point been neat and orderly, but was now fraying at the edges and split at the seams. As he lumbered closer, Killian could see raised, white scars decorating the mans face, evidence of whatever had been done to him to raise him from the dead.

The creature growled, an inhumane sound that sent a shiver down Killian's spine, his hold tightening on the sword as Gerhardt lunged towards him and Jefferson. Without thinking, Killian stepped fully in front of Jefferson, Gerhardt colliding with him and sending him forcefully down to floor, the fall winding him. He struggled to stand back up, but Gerhardt used one impossibly strong hand to hold him down. Fingers flexing on the hilt of his sword, he tried to get a firm enough grip, but before he could fight back, he felt Gerhardt’s fist thump his chest. Pain blossomed from where he’d been hit and he inhaled sharply, only to find the effort of breathing more painful than it should have been. He panicked when he saw the man raise his arm again.

As the fist began to fall towards him, he heard an outraged yell and then Jefferson flung himself towards Gerhardt. The force of his tackle distracted the creature from hitting Killian again, allowing him to take the opportunity to regain his breath. He tried to break free from the creature’s grip, but even though Gerhardt was fending off Jefferson, who was using his small knife to scratch at the man, his hold on Killian was still too strong.

With a final, exhausting tug, he managed to get his arm free and with a furious snarl, he jabbed his hook into Gerhardt’s neck, a savage roar escaping the creature as he tried to stumble backwards, his grip on Killian finally loosening. Killian followed him, hook still embedded in the man, twisting it before wrenching it out and grimacing at the blood pouring from the wound.

Now that the hook was gone, Gerhardt seemed impervious to the pain, forcing himself back towards the two men. He held up one arm in an attempt to defend himself from Jefferson’s unrelenting slashes, his other arm held out towards Killian. Killian tripped backwards, correcting his stance and swinging his sword out in front of himself, feeling like he finally had some control over the situation.

He inhaled and then with one swift movement, plunged the sword through the creature’s heart. For a few seconds, he thought it hadn’t worked and that the creature was still attacking, but with one final moan, its head slumped forwards and he fell still.

“That was fun.” Jefferson stated flippantly, returning his knife to his belt and then wandering over to Killian.

“I’m afraid I have to disagree.” Killian drawled, his voice catching as he struggled to catch his breath, chest still aching with pain. “I believe simply finding a corpse would have been far less painful.”

“That was a risk I was willing to take.” Jefferson admitted with a shrug, ignoring Killian’s incredulous stare.

“It wasn’t a risk that _you_ took.” Killian panted, raising a hand to his chest and pressing down slightly, wincing when he felt how tender it was. When Jefferson saw this, he grimaced apologetically and reached out to help pull the sword out of the corpse’s chest.

They balanced the weight of Gerhardt between them, starting to slowly return through Sherwood. The pain in his torso began to fade, his breathing finally starting to return to normal. He chose to ignore the worried glances he caught Jefferson sending his way, focusing instead on carrying the corpse.

After a long silence, however, Killian decided to speak. “Jefferson?” he queried, meeting Jefferson’s stare once he had the man’s attention. “I am sorry about what I said about Grace.”

“Don’t apologise.” Jefferson replied, glancing down as if ashamed of his own answer. “You had a valid point. It’s been months now and I haven’t even looked for her. She’s my daughter and I don’t even know where she is.”

“But we can find her. We’ll get back from Oz and you can finally have your daughter at your side.” Killian said, falsely optimistic in the face of Jefferson’s guilt.

“It’s been too long.” Jefferson claimed, his voice lowering. “Why would she even want to see me? I abandoned her thirty years ago. Even if I do find her, it won’t be the same.” Killian raised an eyebrow questioningly, wondering what excuse Jefferson was using to convince himself that leaving his daughter alone was the best course of action. “You know how Neverland works. If I find her, she’ll look older than me. Waiting in Neverland may have worked out well for you, Killian, but all it’s done for me is make it impossible to ever reconcile with my daughter.”

He didn’t know how to respond. It wasn’t his place to convince the man otherwise, especially after their brief argument earlier that day. He chose to shrug his shoulders and look away as he spoke. “If that’s what you truly believe, Jefferson, then fine.” he muttered, trying to sound as casual as he could. “But have you ever considered that simply knowing the truth would be enough for Grace? Yes, the circumstances of your reunion would be stranger than the usual, but don’t you think she would rather know what happened?”

“You don’t understand, Hook.” Jefferson snapped. “So don’t try to act as if you do.”

~~~*~~~

The rest of the return trip had been made in silence. When they reached Jefferson’s home, he allowed Jefferson to take the full weight of Gerhardt before walking from him and quietly entering the single room. Emma was still fast asleep, and he took a moment to simply watch her.

She looked peaceful.

Before waking her, he crossed the small room to pick up Jefferson’s hat box, balancing it on his hook, and then went to her side.

“Emma?” he muttered, nudging her gently with his hand, a tender smile crossing his face when she simply grumbled and nestled towards his hand. “Emma, love, wake up.”

“I don’t want to.” Emma replied sleepily, her eyelids fluttering open when he let out a bark of laughter. “I’m comfortable.” She reached out from under the blanket, grasping at the collar of his coat and pulling him down towards her. “How about _we_ sleep for a little bit longer?”

“Tempting.” Killian uttered, pressing a kiss to her forehead and then shifting a couple of inches back. “But I’d feel bad leaving Jefferson to freeze outside, wouldn’t you? We have a corpse and we can be in Oz in the next five minutes. We’ll get there, and then I guarantee that we can curl up together and have a proper nap.”

“Or we could sleep now and go to Oz when we’re both wide awake.” Emma pointed out, although she seemed more aware with each word and was already sitting up when she finished the sentence.

Killian rolled his eyes, pressing another fond kiss to her temple and then stepping aside, watching with an appraising eye as she straightened her clothes out and used her fingers to brush her hair into a slightly more presentable style.

When she was finished, she stepped ahead of him and opened the door, halting when she caught sight of Jefferson and the body he had let drop to the floor. “And where exactly did you find that?” she asked.

"Around." Jefferson answered with a flourish of his hand, gesturing vaguely towards the forest.

She turned around, eyebrow raised in question, and Killian just smiled innocently, resting a hand at the small of her back and accompanying her to Jefferson’s side. “I promise I’ll tell you the entire story later.” he murmured, holding the hat box out to Jefferson.

Emma curled towards him, his arm holding her into his side, as Jefferson withdrew a ragged-looking top hat from the box and threw it to the ground, flicking his wrist so that the hat was spinning once it landed. The moment it touched the ground, it grew bigger, purple smoke spewing from it as the portal inside it widened.

“And now we jump.” said Jefferson, heaving Gerhardt over his shoulder and stepping up to the rim of the hat. “It’s best if we all go together.”

Killian nodded, moving his arm so that he could link his hand with Emma’s, and then, on the count of three, they jumped.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and the comments! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks to Hawkeye733 for beta-ing, especially because I bothered her a lot about this chapter. If you like Captain America, go and read her fic! It's good!

#  ** Chapter 3 **

Despite his familiarity with the room inside the hat, Hook was struck with the same curiosity that he always felt when the four of them landed on the shiny wooden floor. The astonishment he had once experienced had faded, but the gasp from Emma indicated she was as amazed as he had once been.

Jefferson straightened up, adjusting his hold on Gerhardt’s body and striding directly towards an opening covered by emerald green curtains and a golden trim. Killian, however, took a moment to look around, raising his hook to point out a door opposite them, one made with random pieces of wood tied together with rope, leaves and vines poking through the holes, reminiscent of something a child might create in the forests. “Neverland.” he murmured to Emma, who spun round to look intently at the entrance. “I have to say it’s a relief not to be travelling through that door.”

“You’ve been in here before?” Emma asked quietly and Killian nodded, gesturing towards the molten mirror beside the entrance to Oz.

“More than once.” Killian answered. “Obviously not as many times as Jefferson here. I’ve used the room as a way to travel to both of the realms I’ve visited.”

“Are you looking for a tour?” Jefferson snapped, clearly on edge as they spent time inside the hat. “Or would you rather get this quest over with?”

“Patience.” Killian reprimanded, a teasing grin crossing his face, but he released Emma’s hand and crossed over to assist Jefferson with carrying the body, balancing Gerhardt’s weight between the two of them once more.

Emma remained close behind him as they all approached the entrance, Jefferson using his free hand to pull back the curtains. Through the portal, he could see a winding yellow road, leading out to the horizon. What he could see looked similar to the Enchanted Forest, not as dark as Neverland or as bright as Wonderland. The only thing that struck him as strange was the green glow at the horizon, diffusing into the blue sky.

“What is that?” he questioned, but Jefferson ignored him.

“We go now.” Jefferson ordered, stepping through the portal without any more warning, Killian forced to follow immediately due to his hold on the corpse. Just before they passed through the portal, he turned back to face Emma.

“I suppose I’ll see you on the other side.” He stated with a wry smile and a small wave, which Emma returned. “Stay close.”

Another glance at Emma and then he stepped through.

~~~*~~~

Gerhardt had been unceremoniously dropped beside the portal the minute they entered Oz, but Jefferson seemed reluctant to leave the body behind. Killian stood near him, Emma a few feet away and looking towards the green horizon.

“Is that where we need to go?” Emma asked, drawing Jefferson’s attention away from the corpse for only a few moments. “To that green place, whatever it is?”

“The Emerald City.” Jefferson told her, nodding in response to her question. “You can see its lights from anywhere in Oz. I don’t know if it’s where you need to go, but it’s our best chance to get information.”

“So why are we waiting here?”

Jefferson shrugged his shoulders, looking back at Gerhardt before answering, “I’m going to bury him. Now.”

“You make us hurry through the hat, but now you want us to stay here while you bury this monster?” Killian questioned. Jefferson nodded, a hard expression on his face. “Don’t take too long then.”

“I owe my friend this much.” Jefferson explained, Emma’s curious gaze moving from the hatter to Killian. He still hadn’t explained how they had come into possession of Gerhardt’s body, and he’d rather tell Emma himself than allow Jefferson to make the story unclear. “Despite his unfortunate personality, this was still his brother. If Gerhardt can’t be buried in his own land, I can do this for the doctor here.

Emma looked unimpressed, obviously preferring to start travelling immediately instead of waiting for Jefferson to do something that would waste their time like this. For a moment, Killian considered insisting that they leave. However, at Jefferson’s words, he couldn’t help but think that if it had been his brother, if it had been Liam, he would have wanted to know that the body hadn’t been abandoned by the road.

“Actually,” he stated, going over to Emma and taking her lightly by the elbow. “Take as long as you need.”

Emma’s head turned sharply towards him, surprised by his changed attitude. He raised his eyebrow, a sign to her that he would explain, and then steered her away from Jefferson, stopping when he reached a patch of grass next to the brick road. He lay back on the grass, arm outstretched in an invitation for Emma to join him. She remained standing up, an almost frosty expression on his face as she looked down at him.

“This… Gerhardt…. he wasn’t a corpse that you happened to find in Sherwood, was he?” she questioned, her tone biting. “What did you do? Kill him?”

Killian swallowed, that movement enough to make Emma grimace and start to walk away. “Emma!” he called, raising himself up on his elbows and sighing in relief when Emma halted. “He was already dead. Just not as dead as I would have liked.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she forced out, intrigued enough to face him once again. “Someone can’t be mostly dead.”

“I thought the same.” he agreed, relaxing a bit when she took a small step towards him. “But apparently Jefferson’s so-called friend experiments with the dead. I understand wanting to keep your brother alive given the opportunity, but whatever happened, Gerhardt was not the man’s brother anymore.”

“That doesn’t explain how the corpse ended up with us.” Emma protested, but Killian knew that she could see he was telling the truth and his honesty was the reason she was steadily moving back to his side. “And no longer only mostly dead.”

“He was violent, Emma.” Killian explained, using his hook to point at the dried blood on his shirt. The black material had disguised the stain, preventing Emma from noticing it until he showed it to her. When she saw it, she hurried the last few steps towards him and knelt down, hands running over his chest in an attempt to feel any injury. “Don’t worry. It’s not my blood.”

“So it’s Gerhardt’s?” she asked, trying to draw her hands back, only stopped when Killian fumbled for her hand and trapped it with his.

“Emma, don’t you trust me?” he asked, his question making Emma’s face soften. “Jefferson set it up. He’d been wanting to get rid of Gerhardt for a while and he used me to do it. I assure you, I never planned for any of this to happen.”

“Of course I trust you. Jefferson, well, I don’t know about him.” she murmured and he exhaled in relief, shifting so that she could lie next to him and smiling when she rested her head on his chest, the pressure causing a twinge of pain to spread from the bruise on his torso. “I mean, corpse-hunting isn’t something I’m familiar with and now we’re waiting for your old friend to bury the body of someone he plotted to...is it murder if the man was already dead?”

Killian fidgeted, Emma raising her head from his chest in order to stare down at him, hair falling like curtains around the two of them. Her hand grazed across his chest, frowning when he flinched away from her touch and then carefully brushing the collar of his shirt to the side and revealing the mottled purple edge of the bruise. “It’s nothing.” he insisted, taking her hand again and pulling it aside. “It’s nothing dire, anyway.”

Emma scowled and then, to Killian’s surprise, leant down to press a kiss to the injury. “Better?”

Killian chuckled, using his hook to brush her hair away from his face. “Am I forgiven then?” he teased, enjoying how Emma rolled her eyes at him. “Look, love, I am sorry that we have to wait for Jefferson to bury Gerhardt. I know that you don’t like it.”

“I’d prefer it if I understood why.” she admitted, finally leaning back against him, tucking her head under his chin and sliding her leg between his. “Why are we waiting for him to do this? Why was he in such a hurry before, only to decide that he wants to spend so long burying that monster’s corpse.”

“Jefferson is an odd one.” Killian admitted, raising his head so he could meet Emma’s gaze. “But this, it’s the right thing to do. No matter what Gerhardt had become, he was still someone’s brother. I know that if it were Liam, I’d want to know that someone cared enough to bury him.”

“Does he care?” Emma asked, twisting so she could look back at Jefferson, his silhouette busy digging. “Or is it guilt that’s making him do this?”

“Guilt.” Killian acknowledged. “But I don’t think that makes a difference.”

“I hadn't thought of that.” Emma murmured. “I love that you did.”

“Oh, you love it, do you?” he echoed, his voice lowering to a hoarse whisper. “How much?”  

He didn't give her a chance to answer, rolling so he could gather her in his arms and kiss her, smiling against her lips when he heard her gasp. She buried her hands into hair and tugged him closer, her body twisting so that she lay flat on the ground and he was hovering over her, his knee between her legs and his own hand gripping at her waist. He pressed her into the ground, unable to be near enough to her, his kisses growing hungrier, more desperate, Emma biting gently at his bottom lip in response and then pulling away, Killian taking the opportunity to start trailing kisses down her neck and across her collarbone, grinning into her skin when he heard Emma let out a quiet moan.

“Killian?” she whimpered, a breathy giggle escaping her when he lifted his eyes to look at her, kissing her once more, this time gently, before pulling back and waiting for her to speak. “As much as I enjoyed that, this isn’t the time. Besides, I’m still irritated with you for not telling me earlier.”

“Oh, I can tell.” he joked, ghosting another kiss on the tip of her nose before rolling off her, their bodies not touching but only an inch apart. He turned his head to face her, the woman so beautiful that he never wanted to stop looking at her. “You know I was going to tell you, don’t you, love?”

Emma didn't say anything, but he felt her fingers brush against his, his hand closing around hers as he shut his eyes. Despite the faint noise of Jefferson’s digging in the distance, he felt more at peace than he had in years, with Emma’s hand firmly in his.

“Are you sleeping?” she whispered.

“May as well.” he replied, his voice as quiet as hers had been. “We might be here for some time. Unlike you, I didn’t sleep in Sherwood.”

“Good night, then.” she uttered, her thumb brushing against his hand.

He waited a few seconds, but before he could fall asleep, he opened one eye to look at her, the green glow of the Ozian sunset dancing across her face. Whatever Emma was doing, whatever reason they were in Oz, there was only one thing he was certain of right now, and that was how much he loved her.

~~~*~~~

“Wake up, sleepyhead.” Emma was draped over him when he awoke, Jefferson standing at his feet and gazing down at the two of them with an amused smirk across his face. “Sleep well?”

“As a matter of fact, I did.” Killian answered with a wide grin, nudging at Emma in an attempt to wake her. “Did you?”

“Not particularly.” Jefferson replied, his gaze darting over to the misshapen ground that was clearly Gerhardt’s grave. “But I did sleep.”

“Good to know.”

It took a while for him and Emma to fully wake up, Jefferson watching them from the road as they got ready. The moment they were both prepared, Jefferson started walking off, Killian and Emma trailing behind him.

“How long until we get to this Emerald City?” Emma asked, striding past Killian to ask the question to the hatter. “Hours or days?”

“A couple of days.” Jefferson answered shortly. “Longer if you and Hook want to hold hands and whisper sweet nothings to one another.”

“I’ll have you know that if Killian and I choose to hold hands, we won’t be walking any slower.” she retaliated. Jefferson barked a laugh, but didn’t respond, his own footsteps speeding up as he moved away from Emma.

However, Jefferson’s comment seemed to have bothered Emma. They walked for hours, Jefferson showing them the way whenever they came to a junction or a fork in the yellow brick road. It felt strange, Jefferson’s apparently judgemental presence ruining what could have been a comfortable silence.

“Swan?” Killian stated, tired of not talking. Emma turned to him, letting him take her hand when he reached towards her, and seemingly happy to slow her pace so that Jefferson was comfortably far enough away from them. “Tell me about your family.”

“My family?” Emma repeated slowly, as if she was surprised by the question. He supposed it had been rather spontaneous. “What about them?”

Killian shrugged. “Anything. I want to know whatever you want to tell me.”

“I don’t know.” Emma muttered, her mouth downturned in a disgruntled expression. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“You miss them.” he assessed, Emma’s sharp look at him a sign that he was right. “Don’t you? It's understandable. You left them behind so you could get Henry back, but now you’ve been away from them for months. Of course you miss them.”

“They didn’t even know that I was leaving.” Emma admitted, her grip on his hand tightening. “And I couldn’t have explained it to them, not after Rumplestiltskin took their memories away. If that hadn’t happened, they would have helped. Everything would have been easier if only Rumplestiltskin hadn’t done that.”

“I don’t think the Dark One tries to make things easy.” Killian said thoughtfully. “Still, I assume that, had your parents helped, you would have travelled in the royal fleet. I can’t help but be thankful that you had to bargain your way onto my ship instead.”

“There is that.” Emma murmured, glancing up at him with what appeared to be a shy smile. “I think that’s the only good thing that’s happened to me in a while.”

“Well, that’s nice to hear.” he joked, shooting her an adoring smile before broaching a topic that he’d always been reluctant to think about. “Now, your parents are Snow White and Prince Charming, correct? I may not be well-versed in the current politics of our realm, but their love is legendary. I guess that they have rather high expectations when it comes to you and whoever it is that you love.”

“Worried that they won’t approve of a pirate?” Emma said lightly, seemingly amused by the way he had avoided asking her directly. “It doesn’t really matter what they think. Not about something like that, anyway.”

Killian looked down, watching his feet as he walked. Despite what she had said, he was certain that her parent’s opinions would matter to her. Long ago, he would have been respectable - a lieutenant who insisted on upholding the laws - but now, he’d done things that no parent would approve of. “What do your parents want for you?” She shook her head, but the answer had become too important to him for it to go unanswered. He stopped, using his hook to turn Emma around so that they were standing toe-to-toe. “Someone noble? Someone who’s good for the kingdom? What?”

“True love, I suppose.” she told him blithely. “If not that, then they seemed happy enough for me to marry a man for politics.”

“True love?” he repeated, the memory of Emma insisting that he try true love’s kiss if he killed Rumplestiltskin coming to the forefront of his mind. “That’s all they want?”

“I don’t think you could ever want anything more than that.” she said simply, her brow furrowing as she gazed more intently at him. “Killian, don’t worry about any of that. As long as I’m happy, my parents will be happy and despite everything that’s happened, with Henry, with all of this, with you I am happy.”

He froze, the declaration more than he had hoped for, and barely responded when Emma leaned close and brushed a tender kiss across his lips, the brief contact feeling as if it were his first breath of fresh air since the last time they had kissed.. “Emma, I-”

“You what?” she breathed, her gaze searching.

He swallowed and stepped away from her. “I think we should move on. We’re losing Jefferson.”

Her eyelids fluttered, disappointment evident in her eyes, walking away first but keeping her hand linked with his, Killian hurrying after her. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, he often did, but her reaction to such a confession worried him. She had told him enough about Baelfire’s actions to allow him to realise that any admission of love, this soon, would terrify her. He wanted to wait until she would know for certain that he meant it.

~~~*~~~

He wasn't particularly pleased about it, but Killian was getting used to day-long treks through unfamiliar places. At least the terrain here was manageable, the brick road easier to walk on than the root-strewn ground of Sherwood.

When the sun had almost set, Jefferson led them off the road and settled down beside the yellow-brick. He seemed at ease, one knee bent so he could rest his arm on it, and then, to Killian’s surprise, he gestured for Emma to sit beside him. Emma glanced over at him, looking as if she was uncertain how to respond, but after a reassuring smile from Killian, she took a place beside the hatter.

“Given that we have, well, let’s just say ‘a friend’, in common,” Jefferson began, a mischievous smile sent to Killian. “We should get to know one another better, don’t you agree?”

Emma hesitated before answering, “I suppose. Can I start?” She quickly hurried on before Jefferson had a chance to reply. “Why did you set it up so that Killian had to kill Gerhardt for you? Not brave enough to do it yourself?”

Killian grimaced in response, taking his own seat opposite the two of them, but Jefferson only seemed amused by her question. “As a matter of fact, your highness, I’m not.” he answered with a flourish of his hand, as if he were easily disregarding the question. “Besides, I’m not well-versed at violence. Hook here, he’s spent years honing his sword skills.”

“Sword skills?” Killian repeated, tilting his head towards Jefferson and raising an eyebrow. “Mate, I’d wager there’s a better way to say that.”

Emma laughed, clearly  surprised by her own response, and then stopped, her expression hardening when she looked back at Jefferson. “I guess I appreciate that you admitted it.” she mumbled. “I’d have preferred it if you hadn’t put him in danger though.”

“You’re putting him in danger too.” Jefferson replied with a nonchalant shrug. “Don’t pretend you’re not. It isn’t exactly safe in Oz, but you’re happy to drag him here with you.”

“And why isn’t it safe?” she asked, her voice strained as she brushed aside Jefferson’s comments. Killian tried to send her a comforting look, but Emma’s attention was focused on the hatter. “What’s so dangerous about Oz?”

“Things.” He answered, glancing up to the sky and sighing. “Now, princess, do you have some sort of plan?”

“Plan?”

“Well, I admire any sort of plan. You could always fill me in on your wedding plans.” he answered with a chuckle, both Killian and Emma determinedly ignoring his last sentence. “But I’d prefer to know what your plan is right now. Why are we here? Don’t worry, we’re all in Oz now, we can’t abandon you if your quest is going to get us killed.”

“I don’t have a plan.” Emma admitted after a few moments of silence. “All you need to know is that I have to find someone and then bring them back to the Enchanted Forest.”

“Find someone? Now, I’m all for wandering the entirety of Oz searching for an unknown person,” Jefferson stated, opening his arms to gesture out to the horizon. “But if danger doesn’t bother you, I’d suggest the wizard as an alternate plan.”

“The wizard?”

“He’s the man in charge of this place. Has been for years.” Jefferson explained. “People go to him when they need help and he will help. For a price, of course.”

“He sounds like Rumplestiltskin.” Emma grumbled, bending her knees and wrapping her arms around them. “How steep are his prices?”

“Well, he used to be rather useful. He only ever asked for little collectibles, things that he could pawn off to others who requested such objects.” Jefferson drawled. “He’s changed. He asks for things worth far more than the service he provides and people who refuse, they aren’t really heard from again. You ask for help, and you may end up giving away something that you aren’t willing to give up.”

“Is there any other way?” she questioned, covering her mouth as she yawned. “Any other way we can find out… this person’s location without making more deals?”

“This person?” Jefferson repeated with a roll of his eyes. Killian too felt a brief flicker of annoyance at Emma’s reluctance to just admit who they were looking for, but for now he trusted that Emma had her own reasons for keeping the identity secret. “Look, princess, I don’t know of another way. I’ve been here before, but I’m not familiar enough with the land to search everywhere. If you want to find this person, the wizard is your best option.”

“So we see the wizard then.” Emma conceded, turning away from the hatter and raising her hood before lying on her side and curling up, obviously deciding to go to sleep. Killian shifted from his position to be next to Emma, smiling tenderly when Emma crossed the small space between them to rest her head on his thigh. He nudged her hood aside so he could run a hand through her hair, a caring gesture that Emma readily nuzzled into.

It was only when Emma’s breathing slowed and she started snoring softly, a noise that made Killian chuckle, that Jefferson spoke again. “You know, Hook, I actually quite like her.”

“You’re not acting like it.” Killian criticized, keeping his voice quiet. “I know we forced you to get involved in this, and I am grateful that you’ve helped, but there’s no need to be so aloof. Emma’s got more than enough troubles to deal with at the moment, and your attitude isn’t helping.”

“It’s only going to get worse for her.” Jefferson cautioned, glancing down at the sleeping woman. “For both of you. Do you know what she’s doing, or is that something she’s kept even from you?”

“She hasn’t told me yet.” Killian admitted. “Whatever the Crocodile asked her to do, I’m happy to help.”

“He’s using her to get something he wants.” Jefferson uttered. “And that means you’re helping him out too. Your Crocodile.”

“I’m well aware. I don’t need vengeance, Jefferson. I haven’t since I met her.” Killian whispered, ignoring Jefferson’s querying look. “I had an epiphany recently and since then, I’ve been thinking things through. I did want revenge for Milah’s death for decades. I convinced myself that revenge would be the only way for me to regain the happiness I had found with her.”

“But you found happiness again. With your princess.”

Killian bowed his head, eyes softening as he looked at her, a few golden strands of hair lying in front of her mouth and fluttering with each breath that she took.  The rest of her hair was mussed by his own hand, a messy look that he found utterly endearing. He raised his head back up to look at Jefferson, aware that he looked incredulous at the sheer thought that someone like Emma could be lying in his lap. “I did.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Thanks for the kudos and comments, and of course, a huge thank you to Hawkeye733 for beta-ing. This chapter needed it.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Once Upon A Time, and most of the dialogue in one of the scenes in this chapter belongs to Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz.

#  Chapter 4

 

Another few days, and they were still walking. The yellow-brick road stretched all the way to the horizon, a golden path towards the glowing green sunset. Jefferson insisted they were almost at the capital city, but with no buildings in sight, it was hard to believe that they would be reaching the Emerald City any time soon.

Jefferson and Emma remained polite, but they were clearly ill at ease with the others presence. Despite Killian’s insistence that Jefferson could be trusted, Emma was reluctant to talk to the hatter. She had, however, retained a curt manner whenever they did speak, something that only caused Jefferson to reply in kind.

However, it wasn’t only Emma that was causing the difficult atmosphere between the trio. Jefferson was more than eager to converse with Killian, yet Emma’s presence quieted him, the man becoming more introspective than he had ever been during their long acquaintance. Something about Emma upset him and made a bitter expression settle across his face, and Killian could not figure out what the reason was.

That morning, Emma had linked her hand with his the moment they began walking. Jefferson had looked down at their joined hands and strode ahead without comment. Killian had shaken his head in slight annoyance, but remained determinedly by Emma’s side. The more days they spent on their trek, the more despondent Emma became.

“Emma?” Killian muttered once Jefferson had wandered hundreds of metres of ahead, now only a black silhouette in the distance. “We’re almost there. We’ll see the wizard and we’ll find whoever it is you’re looking for and then the four of us will go back through the portal and you’ll have your son back before you know it.”

“Optimistic.” Emma uttered, releasing his hand and nudging his side with her elbow. “I like it.”

“Perhaps I can find something else you like even more?” he suggested, sidling across the small gap between them and throwing his arm around her waist to pull her into his side.

She sighed, exasperated, but still leaned up to press a quick kiss to the underside of his jaw. “Not now.” she murmured. “We need to focus on getting to the Emerald City as soon as we can. Maybe then we can discuss things that I like.”

“As tantalizing as that is, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.” Killian admitted, glancing up to check that Jefferson was still forging on ahead of them. “It’s about Jefferson.”

“Have you spoken to him about me?” Emma challenged, frowning at the distant figure. “Because he’s being just as unaccommodating.”

“That’s a rather kind word for the way he’s acting.” Killian told her, chuckling at how she had admitted she too was being impolite. “With him, I fear that reason will simply make him more troublesome. I believe that you would be more willing to listen to logic.”

“I suppose.” she muttered, placated by his attempt at an explanation. “So what is it?”

“Look, Jefferson helped me when I was still hunting for my revenge. The last twenty-eight years, we spent together. In Neverland.” He began, a smile crossing his face when he felt Emma’s arm slink around his back, her attention fully on him. “He was the only one who could travel out of Neverland. He was the one who found me all those books and showed me how Rumplestiltskin could be defeated.”

“Why did he go to Neverland with you?”

“That’s not something I can tell you.” Killian faltered, thinking that he really should have expected such a question. “All I can say is that no one chooses to go to Neverland for a good reason. I needed time and Jefferson, he wanted to run away. He’s lost a lot in his life, and I believe he wanted to get away from that.”

“And now?” she questioned. “What’s making him so grumpy?”

“Jefferson has seen me at my worst, sweetheart.” Killian confessed, pausing when he remembered the way he had he exploited Jefferson’s fear in order to get him to help with his revenge. “Until I met you, I was convinced that I would never be able to move on and that my vengeance was all I had. I would have done anything to get revenge because I had nothing to lose. I’m not proud of who I was back then.”

“You know I don’t care about what you did in the past.” Emma interrupted, pulling him to a halt and stepping in front of him, arms folding around his neck.

“I know.” Killian said quietly, distracted from his story by the way Emma was looking at him, eyes wide and earnest. “And I can’t imagine how someone like me can possibly deserve that, but I will never stop being thankful for it, for you.” He bent his head, nose brushing against hers, but didn’t kiss her, choosing instead to simply enjoy the intimacy that came from them being wrapped up in each other. “And that, Emma, is what makes things trying for Jefferson. I expect he may have found comfort in the fact that I was as lost as he was. Here and now, however, he is seeing us together. He can see that we managed to find each other. We had both believed it to be impossible, but you saved me from myself. You made me happy. I presume that, at this moment, Jefferson is feeling more alone than he has been in decades.”

Emma swallowed, understanding dawning in her eyes as she shot one more look at the far-off hatter. “I didn’t realise.” she muttered, one hand snaking up from the back of his neck to bury itself in his hair. “About him or about you. How can I have saved you when you saved _me_?”

“You?” Killian asked, receiving no verbal answer. Instead, Emma simply rose onto the balls of her feet and pressed her warm lips against his, pulling him deliberately closer to her as they kept the kiss chaste, breathing each other in.

Their lips parted, and his hand skimmed the side of her body before cupping her cheek, their foreheads still pressed together, breath mingling in the small space between them. As breathtaking as every one of their kisses had been, this one flared with a simmering heat, rather than a burning intensity, and the heat it ignited was one that lingered with him after their skin had lost contact. He hadn’t shared a kiss like that in centuries, and he felt almost overwhelmed by the feelings rising inside of him. “Emma?” he breathed, lifting his head so he could admire her. “You do know that I adore you, don’t you?”

“I’m rather smitten with you too, sailor.” she replied, an air of contentment softening her voice even as she teased him. He beamed down at her, his arms dropping away when she took a small step back. “So are we going to keep walking?” He nodded, hand instinctively taking hers as they turned back to continue along the yellow-brick road.

It was only when the sun began to set, the now familiar green haze in the distance growing more intense as it mixed with the orange of the sunset, that Jefferson decided to wait for them. He stood in the distance, looking impatient, as Killian and Emma approached. He was clearly irritated, one hand tapping furiously against his thigh, and Killian felt the loss of Emma’s hand in his keenly, his hand cold for what seemed like the first time in weeks.

“Aren’t you two just precious?” Jefferson snapped, but Killian caught the appreciative gleam in his eye when he noticed the way that Emma had dropped her hand from Killian’s, their feelings for each other not as glaring to him as it had been on previous days. He glanced away, gesturing ahead of them and drawing their attention to emerald buildings that had appeared at the horizon, rising up from a vast red field. “The Emerald City. We get past the field of poppies, and we’re there.”

~~~*~~~

They stood in the centre of a crossroad, the straight road vanishing into the poppy field, the other roads circling the field. Directly ahead of them was the Emerald City, no longer a distant silhouette, now a looming metropolis, larger than any city Killian had ever seen before. The field itself was massive, a vista of small, rolling hills and brilliant red flowers.

“We should walk around.” Jefferson instructed firmly, but Emma grasped at his wrist before he could move away. He looked at her, a puzzled expression gracing his face. “What is it, princess?”

“Well, hatter,” Emma replied, clearly irritated by the use of her title. “Going across the field is bound to be quicker. We should do that.”

Jefferson made to reply, but before he could speak, she had already strode ahead, poppies brushing against the side of her cloak. Killian stood still, caught off guard by her quick movement. Only a few feet into the field, she staggered, Jefferson leaping forwards to grip her arm and pull her backwards, thrusting her into Killian’s arms once she was out of the poppy field. Killian gazed down at her, surprised to see her eyes closed and her breathing slow.

“She’s asleep.” he stated, raising an eyebrow at the hatter. “How?”

“You’ve heard of poppy dust, correct?” Jefferson asked, brushing invisible dust away from his coat. “Walking through that field is as potent as handfuls of the powder. If your paramour had waited one more minute, I would have explained that to both of you. And now, we have to wait for the princess to wake up before we continue our journey.”

“No.” Killian decided, waving Jefferson over and wheedling him into helping move Emma so she was balanced on his back, arms hanging loosely around his neck, his hands gripping her thighs. “We don’t want this to take any longer than it has to. I’ll carry her for as long as I can, and then, if she hasn’t woken up, we wait.” He felt her head loll onto his shoulder and he chuckled, turning an amused look to Jefferson. “Besides, I thought you wanted to bypass the field simply because of your anthophobia. I remember how much you hated the plants in Neverland. And Wonderland, now that I think on it.”

“I didn’t know what the Neverland plants were, and the ones in Wonderland were taller than me.” Jefferson protested, the two of them starting along the yellow-brick road once again. “I had a perfectly valid reason to dislike those plants.”

“If you insist.” Killian muttered under his breath, chortling when he saw Jefferson’s exasperated eye-roll. They walked in an amicable silence for a few more miles, Killian pausing occasionally to adjust his hold on Emma. When Emma nestled her head closer to his, Killian caught Jefferson’s reproachful look and exhaled. “Look, Jefferson, I am sorry that we didn’t realise that our relationship was causing you pain. I understand, truly, why you feel that way.”

“Do you?”

“I know that you don’t think that you can return to the man you used to be, the man who was prepared to give up everything in order to make sure Grace had the best life possible.” Killian began warily, anxious that Jefferson would react badly to his blunt statement. “You feel that after everything you’ve done and after all the people you’ve killed, that you don’t deserve to be a father to Grace and to have her love you the way that she used to. I feel the same.”

“That doesn’t seem to stop the two of you from being all… content.” Jefferson lamented. “How can you be happy with her when you know you’re not worthy of her and that you’ve done things that can never be forgiven?”

“I’m happy with her because simply being at her side is enough to make me happy.” Killian admitted, a tender smile on his face. “As for the past, Emma knows that I’ve done terrible things. Perhaps not all the fine details, but I am more than willing to tell her if she asks. I’m terrified that one day she’ll realise what I really am and leave me, but I’m not going to lie to her. I want to be open with her, and that is a miracle in itself. She’s still chosen me, even if I can’t fathom why. All I know is that I don’t want to be the man I used to be. Emma made me realise that I wasn’t proud of who I was. I _wanted_ to change, and not just for her. I may not be able to make up for the past, but I can try and be better now.”

“You found someone who inspired you.” Jefferson added, a melancholy look on his face. “But it’s not the same for me. You changed from the idealistic lieutenant to the vengeful pirate and now Emma’s motivated you to be good again. This man that you’ve become with Emma, he’s always been there. I’m different.”

“How are you different?”

“I’m _not_ a good person. Before I met my inspiration, my Elizabeth, I wasn’t an upstanding citizen.” Jefferson grimaced, warily keeping his stare away from Killian. “I never told you this when we were travelling together. I preferred to talk of my time with my wife and with Grace. Before I met Elizabeth, I worked with the Dark One. I did terrible things purely to get gold. I helped make the Evil Queen who she is. Elizabeth made me try to be better and when I lost her, I tried even harder to be the parent my Grace needed. But I’m not meant to be good, Hook. All that I got from being good was losing the only things that ever mattered to me.  I would rather be who I used to be, who I always was, than lose everything all over again because I failed to do the right thing.”

Killian didn’t know what to say, his mouth dry as he stared at his friend. Jefferson looked like he could break if Killian said the wrong thing, and he didn’t want that. For a minute, he wanted to regurgitate Juke’s story, the one about regret, but he doubted that would comfort Jefferson. “I did terrible things for centuries, Jefferson. It’s not as simple as you make it sound.”

~~~*~~~

_Killian had not expected the Queen of Hearts herself to be the person he was looking for, but he was relieved that it made the mission so much easier. Cora seemed to be waiting for the guards to leave, and with her attention drawn away from him for a brief moment, he took the opportunity to mentally prepare himself._

_To kill Cora, he needed to take a heart. This was something he’d never wanted to do, the memories of Milah’s final  moments flashing through his mind, but he was willing to do what was necessary._

_The rest of the court finally out of sight, Cora looked back at him and he smiled smugly back, wanting to appear completely unaffected by her commands. “Your name, pirate?”_

_“Hook.” he answered succinctly, bowing respectfully at her and raising an eyebrow slightly when she comments sarcastically on his nickname.  He stood, rummaging in his pocket for a large pearl necklace he had never got around to depositing in the Jolly Roger’s treasure stash, glad now that he still had it with him. “I come bearing gifts, if you’ll allow me.”_

_He didn’t wait for her response, dangling the necklace from his hook and walking towards her with his arms held wide. She met him almost halfway, ignoring his offer and surprising him with her knowledge of the hat. “This hat, your portal. If I understand correctly, the same number who travels through, must also return.” His mouth quirked slightly, the only outward show of his shock. “You arrived with him, but who shall you return with?”_

_She gestured towards the corpse of Claude, but he didn’t look back. He’s going to do it now, and he needed to make sure that he’s not thinking of Milah’s death when he reaches inside Cora and takes her heart, when he crushes it and sees the woman die the same way Milah had. “You.” he snarled and he doesn’t hesitate, throwing the necklace over his shoulder and plunging his hook into her chest. It feels strange when the hook simply slides into her body, no flesh or bone stopping its fall, magic allowing it to pass through her without resistance._

_But there’s nothing there. An empty cavity with no heart inside. He pulled his hook out and stared at it, confusion flooding him. He thought, just for a moment, that if people can survive without hearts, why isn’t Milah still by his side, but with Cora standing right in front of him, he couldn’t dwell on that. “What?” he breathed, staring up at the Queen and wondering about her amused smile._

_“I’m the ‘Queen’ of Hearts.” Cora stated, her voice thick with laughter. “Do you really think I’d be so careless as to keep my heart where everyone else does?” Before he could react, she sunk her hand into his chest and took hold of his heart, squeezing it and sending a sharp jolt of agony racing throughout his entire body, a grunt escaping him. “This is how it’s done.” she murmured, using her grip on his heart to pull him closer to her and smiling at his constant anguished gasps. “Tell me who did this. Who sent you here to kill me? Who?”_

_“Your daughter.” he panted, grinning when her hold loosened slightly and she let him fall back, her surprise evident on her face._

_“Regina? She… wants me dead?” Cora sounded almost upset, her eyes searching his for answers. Her brows furrowed at his lack of response and her grip tightened once more, swaying him closer. “You are now going to tell me everything and do exactly what I want. Because when you hold a heart, you control it.” She squeezed his heart once more and then waited for him to speak._

_He told her everything. He had never experienced such pain as he felt whenever her hand constricted around his heart, and each time she was unsatisfied with his explanation, she took advantage of that. He spoke of Regina’s plans, and of his, a dark gleam in his eye when she forced him to speak of Milah and his need for revenge, her own hand twisting his heart cruelly as he spoke of Milah’s death and how her heart had been crushed in front of him._

_“I’ve told you all I know.” he implored, voice strangled, hating the power that Cora had over him and wanting it to end. He would rather have death than lose his freedom to her and have her control him with his own heart. “Now have some honour and kill me.”_

_Once more, she laughed. “Honour? For the pirate who snuck into my palace to assassinate me?”_

_“At your daughter’s behest.” he hissed, hoping that the reminder would anger her enough for her to finally finish crushing his heart, instead of toying with it._

_“She should’ve come.” Cora moved even closer, and Killian tried futilely to move his head back and keep his distance, fury evident in the Queen’s voice. “She should’ve killed me herself.”_

_She leant over him, squeezing his heart until he felt as if it was giving in, the pressure and pain forcing an anguished moan out of him as blackness began to obscure his vision, and then she let go, standing over him as he collapsed to the floor. Killian tried to stand up, his knees shaking as he staggered upright. “Mercy seems a bit out of character.”_

_“Oh, not mercy, Hook.” Cora declared, gaze locked on the hand he was holding to his chest, breathing still shaky. “You’re going to help me. Regina knows my methods better than anyone. If I was controlling you, she’d know. This has to be your choice.”_

_He exhaled heavily. The mission for Regina had turned out poorly enough, and he was reluctant to enter into an arrangement with another woman who could betray him as easily as Regina had. She had to have known exactly who her mother was and what she could do, and she had hidden that information from him. Cora seemed likely to treat him similarly, and he was disinclined to assist someone who had seemed to thoroughly enjoy his pain. “Why should I?”_

_“Because, my dear, I’m the only one who can give you what you want.”_

_He smirked in bemusement. The promise itself was similar to her daughter’s, and he had to admit he was intrigued to see what she could possibly say that would make him work with her. “Is that so?”_

_“This curse my daughter plans to enact? This new land she’s taking everyone to? You won’t remember who you are. So tell me, Captain, how do you expect to kill someone, when you can’t even remember him? But, if you do what I say, I’ll make sure you not only kill him, but that you remember every single moment.”_

_“Well, what shall you have me do?” he responded in a resigned tone, knowing there was nothing he could say that would get him out of this, but at the same time his thoughts were racing over what she had just told him. If what Cora was saying was true, and he had his doubts, he would enjoy helping her to kill Regina. The Evil Queen had used his desire for vengeance against him, enlisting him in an assassination that would either kill him or lead to a curse that would render him ignorant to his own enemy.  Either way, his revenge would be unsated. Working with Cora seemed to be the only way to achieve his vengeance._

_“Get me close to my daughter. And then, I’ll rip her heart out.” He winced at the lack of emotion in her voice, but nodded in agreement, gesturing to the exit of the castle._

_“Well, shall we go?” he asked, eager to leave this realm for a more familiar one. However, Cora shook her head._

_“Not yet. I find it unlikely that Regina will believe you accomplished a task such as killing me in so little time.” she decided, standing from her throne and pointing towards her castle. “We shall go tomorrow. Take tonight to rest, Captain. I’ll have a servant call you for supper where we can discuss exactly what you need to do.”_

_He made to follow her directions, but before he could enter the palace, a guard stepped either side of him and grabbed at his elbows, holding him prone between them. “Your Majesty, do you not trust me?” he complained, feeling the guards start to drag him towards the castle. “I’ll have you know that I’m a man of my word.”_

_“You’re a pirate.” she pointed out, enjoying the way the guards were needlessly manhandling him. “Can you blame me for having doubts?”_

~~~*~~~

Emma woke suspiciously soon after Killian and Jefferson’s conversation had come to a sudden, slightly awkward, halt. After she had pressed a kiss of her own to his temple, a first for her, she slid off his back and took her place next to him, hand brushing his but not taking it.

“Thanks for pulling me out of that poppy field.” she told Killian, who shook his head apologetically and shot a meaningful look at Jefferson. Emma frowned, but turned to look at the hatter, who shrugged. “I mean, I guess I should be thanking you. I should have listened to you when you said that it would be better to go around the field.”

“Yes. You should have.” Jefferson agreed with a mocking smile. “It’s lucky you only took a few steps into the poppies and weren’t too far for either of us to reach you. You’d have slept there forever.”

Killian sighed, but Emma just brushed it off and moved to stand between the two men. “I haven’t said this before, hatter, but I really am grateful that you’re helping us. With everything.”

Jefferson seemed mollified by her gratitude, and he looked away for a few moments. Emma took this as an opportunity to link her little finger around Killian’s hook, apparently wanting to have some contact with him, and he smiled at her.

“Why did the Dark One take your son?” Jefferson asked suddenly, staring intently at Emma. “Why did you need to make this deal in the first place?”

“Long story short, my Henry is Rumplestiltskin’s grandson.” Emma answered, laughing harshly when Jefferson stopped short and stared at her incredulously. “Yeah, I was just as surprised as you were. Turns out that Rumplestiltskin prefers to keep his family with him.”

“I imagine that the Dark One doesn’t like someone else having anything that could compromise him.” Jefferson stated thoughtfully, shaking his head as if he was physically getting rid of his shock and then continuing to walk. “I suppose that even Rumplestiltskin would do anything to keep his family at his side. And I suppose you would do anything to be with your son again.”

“I really would.” Emma said, a determined edge to her voice.

“I once felt that way.” Jefferson acknowledged. “My daughter, Grace, is the most important person in all the realms to me. I’m sure you heard Killian mention my daughter back in Sherwood. I would have done anything for her. I tried. I made a deal, the same way you have, to do something for the Evil Queen and in return, Grace would never want for anything. I wanted her to have that. That deal lost me Grace. I haven’t seen her since the day I walked out of my cottage and told her that I would be back for tea. You may have made this deal, but don’t trust that Rumplestiltskin will keep his side of the bargain. He’s clever. If he wants your son, he’ll keep your son and for all you know, you’ll end up trapped here with no way back. Or dead.”

“Is that what happened to you?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Jefferson bit out, his warning apparently the limit of his good will towards Emma. “Grace no longer needs me. The Evil Queen made sure of that.”

~~~*~~~

The yellow-brick road finished rather suddenly, vanishing under a tremendous gate that glittered with brilliant emeralds. Killian’s eyes were drawn to the treasure and for a minute he considered prizing a few off with his hook. Before he could do anything, Jefferson pressed a green button and a muted ring could be heard through the crack beneath the gate. The door opened slowly, creaking with each small movement, and revealed a vast hall, the ceiling arching hundreds of feet above the three of them, green glass walls veined with marble and decorated with even more emeralds and diamonds, a spectacular room that Killian had never seen the like of before.

The three of them stepped inside, staring in awe at the entire room. The actual city seemed to be contained inside the hall, the ceiling arching over tall towers and onion domes. An opening seemed to lead into the inner city, a green cobblestone pathway winding between green marble houses and elaborately trimmed gardens.

“This is incredible.” Emma breathed, and the two men nodded their agreement, the three of them walking through the opening together. The pavement continued straight for miles, appearing to be a direct route into the town centre, a palace rising up from the horizon and towering over all other buildings, the shimmering emerald building lined with gold and a green flag fluttering from the highest tower. “That has to be where the wizard is, right?”

“Of course.” Jefferson explained. “Right in the centre of everything.”

They remained silent as they walked further into the metropolis, each of them too busy gaping at the magnificent architecture to talk to each other. The palace square was a marvel, the green cobblestones merging into a glossy malachite floor, the buildings surrounding the palace including restaurants, museums and theatres.

Jefferson hovered at the edge of the square, but Killian and Emma strode up to the palace doors, Killian’s arm linked with Emma’s, his hook buried in his coat pocket. Emma swallowed, and then used the giant golden knocker to rap on the palace door three times.

Instantly, a small window opened, a foot below Emma’s shoulders, and a man peered out. He wore emerald glasses and a furry, green hat. “Do you have an appointment?” he asked, his voice high-pitched. “Entrance is by appointment only.”

“No, not exactly.” Emma stammered, staring down at the guard. “But this is important.”

“Many people visit the wizard and many believe that their issues are more important than any other.” The guard scoffed, his hand reaching out to close the window, but Emma grabbed it before he could.

“You don’t understand how far we’ve travelled to get here.” she protested. “Please, we need to see him.”

“I can make you an appointment.” the guard offered. “That’s all I can do. I can’t offer preferential treatment because you believe you deserve an audience now. If you are so desperate, the wizard is available tomorrow evening. I’ll put your names in the book and you can walk through the palace gates then.”

“Okay, yes, that would be great. I’m Emma.” Emma said, shooting a relieved look at Killian and curling herself closer towards him. “Thank you.” The window slammed shut immediately, no further time given, and Emma turned to Killian, her expression excited. “We’re almost there.”

“Indeed.” Killian murmured, sauntering close to her and pulling her hips to meet his. “And now, we have a whole day to have some _fun_ of our own in one of the most beautiful cities I’ve ever seen.”

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! I hope you enjoy this chapter - it may be some of the fluffiest stuff I've ever written. Thanks for the kudos and comments, and of course, a massive thank you to Hawkeye733, who edited this with me until a stupid time of night!

#  ** Chapter 5 **

 

The moment they turned away from the palace gates, Jefferson sidled up to them with a nonchalant expression on his face.

“Need an appointment?” he questioned innocently, and Killian saw Emma’s fist clench. “Maybe I should have mentioned that before.”

“Perhaps.” Killian bit out, Jefferson’s smug expression irritating him. Jefferson had surely known that visiting the wizard would not be as simple as walking up to the door, but he had remained silent about that fact. “Emma can go see him tomorrow evening, so until then perhaps we should find our own ways to entertain ourselves.”

Jefferson raised an eyebrow at Killian’s pointed tone, but sighed and strode away without comment. Killian would have asked for time alone with Emma slightly more politely, but Jefferson’s apathetic gloating nature regarding yet another wait had been the last straw.

They watched Jefferson stride away. He seemed to know where he was going, and Killian felt slightly better when he saw how familiar Jefferson was with the city. When Jefferson disappeared into one of the small green alleyways surrounding the square, Killian turned back to Emma, tenderly prizing her fist open and lacing his fingers with hers. “Don’t let Jefferson get you down, love.” he muttered. “It’s only one day, and like I said, now we have time for some fun. There’s nothing we can do but wait, and truly, you need a day where you’re not worrying about this person you have to find. I’m more than happy to be your distraction.”

Emma searched his eyes for a moment and then she smiled at him, a bright, happy smile that he had never seen before. The weight of her mission seemed to have lightened, at least for now, and Killian reached out to brush his knuckles across her cheek. “Now, beautiful, how about dinner?”

“Dinner?” repeated Emma, raising her eyebrows incredulously. “You’re taking me to dinner?”

“Tonight, I am going to court you.” Killian stated, pointing over at a terrace full of small, cozy tables, candles flickering inside green glass jars. “The way you deserve to be courted.” he finished, releasing her hand and bowing, grinning when Emma giggled at his performance. He offered her his arm, and she took it without hesitation, allowing him to lead her over to the entrance, a waiter dressed in varying shades of green leading them over to a secluded table, talking constantly about the variety of dishes they had available.

Killian pulled the chair out for Emma, using his hand to undo the ties of her cloak, draping it carefully over the high-backed chair and waiting for her to take a seat. He sat opposite her, the warm temperature of the emerald city creating a comfortable atmosphere. Emma was looking around the small terrace in disbelief, and Killian had to admit that he felt a similar sense of astonishment that the two of them were here.

There were no other customers at the restaurant, making Killian wonder exactly what time it was, but a glance at the sky revealed nothing. The emerald dome over the city kept the sunlight out, an artificial green glow lighting the metropolis and revealing nothing about the time of day.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, skimming over the menu as they tried to decide on something to eat. The meals sounded strange, but far more appealing than the ship biscuits and hard cheese that they had been rationing for the past several weeks. Once their orders had been taken, he leant across the table, grinning when Emma mirrored him, taking his hand in both of hers. “This is nice.” she muttered. “I have to admit, though, it feels odd to be doing this.”

“Odd in a good way?” Killian joked, a boyish grin crossing his face when she nodded in response. “Now, surely a princess such as yourself has been treated like this before?”

“Not really.” she answered, a subdued, nervous smile gracing her face. “My parents wanted me to find true love, but I never really got the opportunity to search for it. Once I turned eighteen, they planned to start introducing me to various suitors, but by then, well, Henry was on the way.”

“I take it that you and Baelfire didn’t have a traditional courtship then?” he questioned, feeling honoured that Emma had chosen to share this story with him. Before he had realised his feelings for her, they had carried out a delicate dance around each other, always sharing just a little of their pasts in exchange for an equal divulgence of personal history. The realisation of how effortlessly the trust between them had grown came as a pleasant shock

“Not exactly.” she agreed after a moments silence, her finger tapping anxiously against the hilt of her knife and her eyes tracing the vague pattern of the table cloth. She seemed reluctant to meet his gaze and he grimaced, guessing that Baelfire was one topic Emma would have preferred not to be broached. “He was different, and for someone who spent all their time in the castle, different was very good. I guess he was the first person who didn’t treat me like the princess, and I was foolish enough to believe that meant he loved me.”

He remained silent, giving Emma the opportunity to say what she needed to, but the waiter seemed less interested in their personal space, noisily bringing their first course over the moment Emma opened her mouth to continue.

The food looked interesting, a small portion in the centre of a wide emerald platter, green sauce drizzled artistically over it. With it’s unnatural appearance, Killian began to think more fondly of his ever-reliable biscuits. Most of this doesn’t look like it’s supposed to be green.” she commented, warily taking a small bite of her food and groaning in appreciation. “Nevermind. I think this is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

He chuckled again, raising an eyebrow when Emma reached over to spear some of his food on her own fork, tasting it cautiously and then nodding in approval. Once Emma had finished helping herself to both plates, he began to eat, the two of them silent as they enjoyed the food. For the first time in decades, he felt awkward. He wanted everything to be perfect - Emma deserved one night where everything went right - and having a hook-handed suitor didn’t strike him as ideal. His hook felt strangely separate from him, no longer the extension of himself that it had become, his one hand making it difficult for him to eat as gracefully as Emma was, but Emma didn’t seem at all concerned by the disfigurement. She never had.

After a few more minutes of clumsy struggling, he gave in and rested his hook on the table, a pained grimace crossing his face as he decided it was easier to just pierce the food with his fork. He ignored how Emma’s gaze flitted from his prone arm back to her food and then she purposely set down her own knife, capturing his attention. He watched, entranced, as her hand danced across his hook, the tips of her fingers caressing the metal, as if she was playing with the idea of taking his hook in her hand, but then her hand skimmed past the metal and rested lightly on the leather brace at his wrist, thumb stroking it absently.

“You know, Killian?” she started, waiting until he had looked away from her hand and was caught in her stare before she continued. “There is something strangely endearing about your hook.” He swallowed, Emma’s expression so sincere, and the doubts that had surrounded him seemed to drain away at her honest words.

“I wanted this to be perfect.” he admitted, and Emma’s countenance softened, the princess realising it was nerves that were making him so inept.

“I didn’t ever have many suitors.” Emma said, her voice low and warm. “And it wasn’t just because of Henry. I mean, that helped, but I would never want anyone who couldn’t accept my son anyway, so it really worked in my favour. The thing is, I wouldn’t let anyone… woo me if I didn’t want them to. This, with you, I haven’t done it before but it’s not because I didn’t have the choice. This day doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be with you.”

Killian stared at her, his heart thumping and his stare dazed at Emma’s declaration. “You never wanted this before?” he said, his voice throaty. Her words had lit something inside of him, the suggestion that her feelings may be as strong as his, and he needed, suddenly, further clarification of her statement. “Not even with Baelfire?

“Baelfire was different.” Emma muttered, her thumb brushing against his wrist again as if in reassurance. “I mean, he was my first love. He always will be, and I know you understand that. I was young and, I have to admit, I heard so much from my parents about the proper way to act when being courted that when it came to him, I didn’t care. It made it more exciting, you know, being together and breaking all the rules.” Killian nodded, He truly did understand. Milah had been his first love, and he still remembered the instant they met, the sudden rush of feeling that was new and inspiring. He always would love her, but Emma had waltzed into his heart and taken a place in it that Milah had never reached, and he no longer needed to cling to the feelings he had for Milah. “I would have done this with Baelfire, but all that rule-breaking meant that we needed to keep everything secret. We really just… cavorted.”

She frowned, her nose wrinkling adorably, at her final sentence, and Killian couldn’t help but snicker at what she had said. At the sound, she looked offended, her eyes wide, and he forced his laughter under control, an innocent smile crossing his face even as he leant closer and ran his tongue across his lips alluringly. “Don’t worry, my love, I have the cavorting planned for later.” he promised, enjoying the way Emma’s eyes seemed to darken to a green close to that of the brilliant marble around them. “For now, I just want to woo you.”

~~~*~~~

Once their desserts were eaten, a rich creamy dish that was just as green as the others, the waiter that had been attending to them slid over immediately with a small slip of green parchment, a number written on it and followed by a symbol that Killian didn’t recognise. He grimaced, allowing Emma to take a look at it before he grinned mischievously at her. “It appears that the currency here is not doubloons.” he commented, reaching into his pocket to show her a handful of the gold pieces. “And here I was, being a gentleman and paying for a meal for the two of us.”

Emma burst into laughter, his failure at thinking ahead apparently amusing, and then she wrapped her cloak around her shoulders and held her hand out. “Seeing as this is a day of new experiences,” she stated, grinning coyly at him once he took her hand. “I’m not adverse to just running away.”

“Stealing, are we?” he questioned, already standing from his chair and leading her back through the terrace. The moment they were out of the restaurant, he felt Emma speed up, his hand dropping from hers, and he ran after her, her laughter floating back towards him. The pair of them darted out of the square and along the narrow malachite paths until they found themselves outside of the dome, the poorer areas not protected by the cover of the architecture, the stars glittering overhead.

Emma drew to a stop, slightly out of breath after the distance they had run, but she seemed unable to stop laughing. “I can’t believe we did that!”

“I’m more surprised by the fact you suggested it.” Killian told her, chuckling and closing the small gap between them. “It looks like there’s a little pirate in you after all, Swan.”

She looked smug, giddy at their own law-breaking, and Killian raised his eyebrows in surprise when her hand snaked out from under the cloak and gripped his collar, tugging him towards her, the two of them stumbling into a nearby nook. “You know, Killian,” Emma whispered, her voice low and seductive, her eyes bright. “That’s not exactly the sort of thing one should do when they’re courting someone.” For a brief moment, he felt agitated, wishing that his attempt to court Emma had succeeded, but then her hold on his collar tightened and she swayed him even closer. “I think I prefer it that way.”

His breath caught and he raised his hand to cup her face, leaning in and watching as her eyes fluttered closed and she leaned up towards him, their lips meeting in a slow, adoring kiss. They breathed each other in for a few moments, and then Emma’s hand left his collar and raked through his hair, her mouth opening under his as she deepened the kiss, a moan escaping her as she pressed herself closer to him.

At the sound, he ran his hand from her hair, sliding it down the curve of her neck and over her shoulders, down her side, his thumb glancing over the curve of her breast before he reached her hip and grasped at it. Her breath hitched at the contact, and she pulled away to gaze up at Killian, who smiled lazily down at her. “You could always sail with me forever.” he whispered into her ear, lips catching on her earlobe as he spoke. “Be my pirate princess?”

Emma giggled again, the phrase entertaining her, and then turned to capture his lips once more and Killian took a moment to ponder how he had been so lucky as to find Emma, but then Emma writhed against him and he couldn’t think of anything other than how she felt against him and how she tasted. He dragged his lips away from her mouth, marking a path of kisses down her neck. “Forever’s a long time.” she panted, her hands moving restlessly from his neck to rest on his shoulders, his chest, grasping at his arms, apparently unable to decide where she wanted to rest her hands.

“Not long enough.” Emma’s hands paused in their exploration and she jolted away from him, his words causing her to stare at him, her eyes wide and frightened. Killian swallowed, stepping back and taking her hand in his, making sure to keep his gaze locked firmly with Emma’s. He remained silent, letting Emma search his eyes for whatever it was she was looking for, making sure everything he was feeling was expressed honestly for her to see.

“Killian?” she muttered, her expression softening into something more apologetic. “I’ve never had anything like this before and you, being so sincere, it scares me sometimes. But don’t stop.” She bit her lip and then pressed a soft kiss to his jaw, his relief at her action causing him to sink into her slightly. “And, just so you know, being a pirate princess, or whatever you suggested, doesn’t sound half bad. Although, I think Henry would be upset not to have a title of his own.”

“I don’t need any name other than Captain.” Killian claimed, beaming down at Emma. “Your Henry can be the Prince of the Seas, if that’s what he would like. I’ll teach him how to navigate and how to sail, and your son will be the best pirate to ever sail the Enchanted Forest. Without the villainy, of course.”

Emma’s mouth quirked slightly, but no smile was present on her face, the brightness of her eyes dimming following the mention of her son. Despite Emma having brought him up, the thought of Henry was too much for her at the moment, and he understood why. With her son still at the Dark One’s side, he knew Emma felt guilty for spending time with him like this, despite having no choice but to wait for the wizard’s attention. He tilted his head, a small, comforting smile gracing his face as he brushed a few strands of hair back from her forehead and then pressed a kiss there, hoping he could help her feel better.

“And now I think it’s time to get some rest.” he intoned, slipping an arm around her waist and leading her out of the nook they had ensconced themselves in, looking around for any sign of a tavern. “I may not have the correct currency, but if we find the right place, I’m sure they’ll let us stay for enough gold coins. I don’t know about you, but I’m certain that one night in an actual bed will improve our moods greatly.” She raised a suggestive eyebrow at him and he chuckled, leading her further away from the city centre. “Now, love, that wasn’t what I was talking about, but I’m open to persuasion.”

Emma rolled her eyes, punching him lightly on the arm as if reprimanding him, but she seemed too amused for him to take it seriously. “I may have told you about Baelfire and I, but we’re going to save the cavorting until later.” she teased. “I’m not making that mistake again.”

“Oh, darling, it wouldn’t be a mistake.” he muttered, running his tongue across his lip in invitation, and laughing when Emma nudged him again. For all his bravado, he was more than happy to follow Emma’s lead. Whatever pace she set would be perfect, as long as they were together.

~~~*~~~

They had managed to find an inn where the owner was more than happy to accept gold, Killian handing over more than necessary in exchange for a room, bath and someone willing to launder their clothes. He had washed first, Emma distracted with sorting out exactly what clothes she wanted cleaned, the heated water soothing after such a long time spent wandering through various forests.

Feeling cleaner than he had in weeks, Killian sat on the edge of the bed, distracted by the sounds of Emma bathing behind him, his view of her blocked only by a screen. He leant forward, elbows resting on his thighs, and focussed his attention on the sole piece of art in the sparse room, a strange enamel picture of a ship sailing on an emerald sea. For the first time since they docked at Briar, he missed the Jolly Roger. It had been so long since he felt the sea breeze against his face or steered his ship through open waters, and he felt an ache in his chest, a yearning to be back in his home. A reminiscent smile spread across his face as he remembered the journey with Emma and the way she would lean against the ship’s wheel and talk to him, his arms around her as he steered the ship.

As if Emma knew what he was thinking, he felt the bed sink down slightly and glanced around to see Emma crawling across the bed to him, her hair damp and her body draped in a linen robe, tied loosely around her waist. He turned further round to face her, entranced by her approach. She was a siren, and he would leap headfirst into the ocean to remain at her side.

She reached him, her arms wrapping around his waist and her body pressed firmly against his back, chin resting on his shoulder as she looked over at the illustration. He glanced back over at the image, the melancholy he had felt before unable to engulf him with Emma so close.

“You must miss it.” Emma whispered, and Killian nodded slowly. “I’m sorry that you had to leave the Jolly Roger for me. I know it’s your home.”

“If we did it all over again, I would make exactly the same choice.” he said, trying to reassure Emma. “Besides, I’m certain I’ll see her again.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because once your deal is done, we can go back to her.”

“You sound very certain that we’ll succeed.” Emma said, her tone questioning. “We haven’t had much luck so far. Have you considered the fact that you may never see the Jolly Roger again? I know I’ve thought about it. We may never get back to the Enchanted Forest, never mind your ship.”

“We will.” Killian asserted, his voice hitching slightly when one of Emma’s hands began to move up his body, her nails scraping lightly against his chest until she brought it to rest above his heart. “I know you won’t fail.”

He turned his head to gaze at her, the way she was kneeling on the bed meaning he had to look up to meet her eyes. She looked amazed at his confidence, her eyes wide and her lips parted slightly, and then she breathed out, her head inching down until her lips found his, a lazy, languorous kiss that seemed to last forever.

They finally parted and Emma took his hand, lying back against the bed and pulling him towards her. Killian shifted so he could lie comfortably beside her, raising himself up on his elbow so he could bow down to kiss her again, Emma’s hand lifting to rest against the side of his neck, thumb brushing his skin lovingly.

They continued in the same way for what seemed like hours, the kisses remaining slow and lingering,  Killian occasionally pausing to murmur words of adoration into the warmth of her skin. His hand had long since slid inside her robe to rest reverently against her hip, the skin to skin contact causing Emma to whimper, settling further into the woollen mattress . It was only when the kisses grew messier, the two of them tired but reluctant to stop, that Killian dragged himself away.

Emma followed him, curling her body around his and resting her head on his chest before closing her eyes, her breath slowing as she fell asleep. Killian, too, wanted to sleep but he needed to take a moment to think. He had spent hundreds of years believing all of his happiness to be lost, and yet, he couldn’t remember ever being as content and peaceful as he felt in this moment, with the woman he loved sleeping in his arms, as affectionate with him as he was with her.

The moonlight streaming through the green curtains bathed the small room in a dim light, bright enough for him to admire Emma, her serene expression so different from the expressiveness she usually portrayed, further proof that she was the most beautiful woman he could ever meet. His gaze still fixed on her, Killian tried to figure out when they would next be able to share such a day, knowing that once Emma had met with the wizard, they would be back to the constant travelling he was growing used to, and the urge to make this day even more momentous struck him. He wanted Emma to know exactly how he felt before they were once again focussed on her deal, but he couldn’t bring himself to wake her.

Still, he had to say it, even if Emma wasn’t awake to hear it. He raised his head enough so he could kiss Emma’s hair, the movement not even making Emma stir, his hand caressing the curve of her cheeks, her nose, her lips.

“I love you.”

He simply said the words, the sound of them breaking the silence in the room, and hearing the words out loud filled him with a relief. He hadn’t realized how desperately he wanted to say them until the words had finally left his lips, and even though Emma couldn’t respond or even hear them, being able to finally say them out loud and hold her in his arms released a tension he didn’t know he’d been holding in.

He spoke the words again, mouthing the words against her skin as if she could _feel_ them, and then drew her closer, a nonsensical, sleepy murmur escaping her. The feeling of pure contentment this simple moment brought him spread a warmth that filled his last conscious thoughts as he too drifted off to sleep.

~~~*~~~

The following morning felt similar to their breakfasts together aboard the Jolly Roger. The handful of gold had clearly been more than enough for the innkeeper - two strange green scones were delivered to their door alongside their clean clothes. The two of them chatted absently as they ate, the way they had before, but Killian had to admit he preferred it with less clothes between them.

Emma was still in the linen robe from the night before and it had ridden down to expose the curve of her shoulder and the top of her breasts, a gloriously tempting image that he couldn’t look away from. Once the food was finished, Emma retreated behind the screen to change, the two of them continuing their light-hearted discussion as they both dressed.

The clothes were still damp, but it felt amazing to have clean fabric against their skin and Emma stated as much, shivering slightly once she stepped back out from behind the divider. Killian abandoned his buttons, fewer fastened than usual, to approach her, rubbing his hand up and down her arm in an attempt to warm her up. She beamed up at him, surprising him when her own hands began to fiddle with his buttons, stopping when his usual amount had been done up and then tilting her head to press a quick kiss to his chest.

His breath caught, the easy domesticity something he had never experienced before. After her time with Rumplestiltskin, Milah had hated such ordinary moments, preferring adventure and excitement at all times, and Killian had been happy with that. He had never realised what it felt like to have such a routine task become so intimate, and the thought raced through him that he wanted this every morning. He never wanted to go another day without waking to Emma by his side. It was only now, the first morning they had spent without an immediate need to keep moving, that he knew exactly what they could have together, and he wanted it more than anything.

~~~*~~~

Hours later, Killian found himself sat in a small, elegant café in the palace square, Jefferson talking nonstop about the various exploits he had seen the citizens of the Emerald City getting up to. Killian wasn’t listening, his mind too concerned with Emma to enjoy Jefferson’s gossip.

Following their breakfast, they had walked hand-in-hand through the green city streets, discussing things about themselves that they never bothered to mention before, simple things like favourite colours and favourite places, before venturing into a large art gallery. The Ozian works had been strange green images with only hints of other colours, and they had attempted to view it for a short time before settling on one of the museum benches and continuing their carefree discussion.

When it grew late, Killian had escorted Emma back to the Wizard’s palace, the guard taking her inside without any further questions, and despite Emma’s protestations, Killian had been left behind. Jefferson had found him moments later and led him to the best vantage point, the two of them able to see Emma the minute she exited the palace.

A day away from the couple seemed to have been beneficial to the hatter. He looked happier, although that may have been in part due to the full nights rest he had experienced, and he seemed more at ease in Killian’s presence than he had been since their discussion days earlier.

“You seem happy.” Jefferson had spoken before Killian had the chance to, and at his words, Killian raised an eyebrow in amusement.

“I was going to say the same,” he pointed out with a forced chuckle, still too preoccupied by Emma’s meeting to be fully invested in the conversation. “And after the last few days, I’d say your mood is rather more surprising than mine.”

“Well, I’ve made a decision.” Jefferson announced, leaning back to rest his feet on an empty chair, hands behind his head. “If you and your princess can go through so much for a minuscule chance to retrieve her son and become a family, surely I can at least go to see my daughter.”

“It’s not minuscule and we never said anything about ‘becoming a family’” Killian answered. Clearly, a good mood wasn’t enough to hide the undercurrent of jealousy Jefferson was dealing with. “But, as for the rest, I’m glad. Although, mate, it’s going to be hard. I know you’re aware of that, but I felt an additional warning was needed. I don’t want you blaming me if it turns out badly.”

“I can read between the lines, Hook. With the way you two are together, it’s obvious that the only thing that would make your little affair even better would be for Emma to have her son back at her side.” Jefferson said, waving his hand as if disregarding Killian’s protest. “Remember, Hook, you told me all about Baelfire. I know you’d love having someone you could teach to fight and sail. Don’t act like you don’t hope that you, Emma and the boy will become some adorable pirate family. I know you, Hook.”

Killian scanned Jefferson, his sudden sour tone suggesting that the pirate’s warning had irritated Jefferson more than he had wanted Killian to know. He shook his head, entertained by the hatter’s attempt to annoy him in return. “I’m only warning you because I don’t want you to get your hopes up now that you’ve made such a decision. I’m fully on your side with this. In fact, once Emma and Henry are reunited, I am more than happy to help you find her.”

“I know where she is.” Jefferson bit out, surprising Killian with the new information. “I just want to see her. I thought I was content with knowing she was alive but now, I need to know she’s happy and that she’s safe. If she’s not, I need to fix that. I don’t want to reunite with her. She’s better off without me. But she has to be alright.”

“Where is she?”

“Last I heard, with the Evil Queen.” Jefferson replied, his voice an angry hiss. “I suppose I should be thankful that Regina kept her alive, but I’m sure Grace is there as leverage, in case I ever reappear with my magical hat.”

“That’s why you’re so reluctant to find Grace again. Not just because you’re worried about her but because you’re frightened of the Queen and what she could do to your daughter if you try to take her away.”

Jefferson nodded, folding his arms and regarding Killian thoughtfully for a few moments before his attention was drawn by something behind the pirate, Killian turning around to see what it was. Two men stood behind him, their stiff green hats and golden lined tunics indicating their jobs as guards. Jefferson raised both his eyebrows, amused by their appearance. “Now, Hook, what did you do?” he asked, his tone light once more. “It looks like you can’t be taken anywhere without causing chaos.”

Killian shrugged, a wide-eyed innocent expression on his face. “I believe this is simply a misunderstanding.” he drawled, the corner of his mouth twitching. There had been no attempts to arrest him for a long time, and it felt novel to have guards after him for something as uncomplicated as stealing. He made to state another excuse, grinning charmingly in an attempt to disarm them, but one of the men spoke before he could.

“This is no misunderstanding.” the official grumbled, reaching down to grab Killian’s arm and pull him up. “We’re here by order of the wizard. You’re needed in the palace.”

Worry shot through him, and he quickly stood up, allowing the guards to steer him toward the palace, giving Jefferson a brief nod in dismissal.

The two officers took him through the large palace gates, leading him through a wide green hallway to a golden door, the word ‘Oz’ engraved upon it, large tubes of a mysterious glowing green liquid lining the room. The door opened as he approached, the guards taking their positions either side of the entrance, declining to follow him inside.

The wizard’s room was huge with a bright golden floor and more green tubes, the defining feature being the four towers of flame before a green embroidered curtain, the shadow of two people vaguely visible through the material.

He halted once he reached a large green platform in the centre of the room. As if he had stood on a switch, the curtain began to rise the second he stopped moving, and as it lifted, he caught sight of two pairs of feet. He took another step forward, pausing when he heard a mad cackle echo throughout the room. “I told you he wouldn’t need to be dragged here.”

The voice was unfamiliar. Harsh. He took another small step forward, desperate to know what was happening and what was being hidden from him. Another step, and instead of inching up slowly, the rest of the curtain was pulled away, revealing a sight that made Killian stumble, staring in horror at the sight before him.

Emma was there, expression terrified, the other woman’s emerald green hand wrapped tightly around her neck. In her other hand, the same unnatural colour as the rest of her skin, she clutched a beating heart.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! Yesterday's episode kind of sent me on a writing spree! Thanks for the comments and kudos and I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
> Thanks to Hawkeye733 for beta-ing. Really, I'm very demanding, so she really deserves a massive thanks and lots of cake!

#  ** Chapter 6 **

It took Killian too long to react to the sight, the image of Milah collapsing searing through his mind, the thought of losing Emma the same way too much to bear. The green woman tightened her grip on Emma’s neck and it was Emma’s pained rasp of breath that jolted him back into action. He started to dash over to her, faster than he’d ever run before, but the woman - no, the witch - released Emma to flick a hand towards him, freezing him where he stood.

Emma collapsed to her knees, her hand rising to rub at the red finger-shaped marks staining her neck, her eyes locked on him. He tried to break out of the hold the witch had him in, determined to reach Emma’s side, but it was impossible. Emma looked as terrified as he did, her face white and her eyes wide. He had only felt this useless once in his life, trapped at the mast of his sail as the Dark One ripped the heart out of the woman he loved, and he knew he wouldn’t survive it happening again.

He knew in that moment that the witch wouldn’t survive either.

Emma’s eyes grew even larger when he managed to turn his head slightly to face the witch and he knew she could see the fury that was boiling inside of him, his angry stare locked on the green woman.

“Now, Emma,” the witch spoke, turning her back to the pirate and bending down so she could grip Emma’s chin and force her to meet her eyes. “I have your pirate in my grasp. Tell me why I should give you this, and make it convincing.” she hissed, Emma attempting to cower away from her. “You don’t know how _exhilarating_ it is to hold someone’s heart in your hand. Knowing that one squeeze is all it takes. Why would I give that power over to you?”

As if to emphasize her point, the hand holding the heart flexed, giving the organ a quick, but noticeable squeeze. He couldn’t yell, could only watch and wait for Emma to gasp in pain and clutch at her heart.

She didn’t even flinch, the only outward sign of any discomfort being the clenching of her jaw, and Killian felt a staggering flood of relief spread through him.

It wasn’t her heart.

Searching for confirmation, his gaze flew back over to Emma and, despite the witch’s restraints, she nodded at him. The witch turned, a wide, delighted smile on her face as she met his stare, a cackle escaping her. “Oh, I’m sorry, did you think it was hers?” she asked, a sweet tone to her voice that sent an apprehensive shiver down his spine. “Don’t worry, dear, I haven’t taken her heart, yet.”

She peered at him, judging him, and he met her gaze without hesitation. A few heartbeats, and then she waved her hand, the curse holding him dissipating into the air, and he stumbled forward. The second he regained his balance, he hastened across the remaining space to Emma, falling to his knees so that he could wrap her in his arms, Emma scrambling up to meet his embrace. With Emma secure against him, he tilted his head up to look back at the witch.

“Who are you?” he bit out, only now allowing himself to try and get a grasp of the situation. “Where’s the wizard?”

“ _I’m_ the wizard. But now that we’re all acquainted, I prefer Zelena.” The witch answered, rolling her eyes as if the answer had been obvious. “Not the first wizard, but after such a long time, I think I can take the title for myself.”

“And this is how you conduct your business? Strangling clients and crushing hearts?” Killian asked, using his hook to point at her, a sudden, threatening movement that only made her laugh. “How have you kept the wizard’s reputation so great, when _this_ is what you’re doing to anyone who wants for anything?”

“Now, now, Captain, I’d restrain yourself.” she uttered, her words dangerously provoking. “All that’s needed to keep up a reputation like the wizard isn’t greatness or kindness. It’s _fear_. I’d imagine that’s something you’re familiar with.”

Another cackle and wave of her hand, and with a puff of green smoke, his hook vanished from its brace, clattering to the ground a few metres away from him. The magic startled him, and he drew his arm back, the loss of his hook making him feel more vulnerable than he had in centuries, and he regarded Zelena more warily.

Emma started to withdraw from him, and he glanced down, seeing how her eyes were locked on his hook, her brows furrowed, and he realized what she was planning to do. He gripped her tighter, but Zelena had spotted her movement, and she crowed in amusement. “That’s more like it.” she sneered. “But just so that you two know, if either of you make a move towards that hook, this heart is gone. And I know you don’t want that.”

“Go ahead. Crush it.” Killian threatened, lips curling at her attempt at intimidation. “I don’t know who that heart belongs to. All I know is that I want Emma’s safety and if someone has to die for me to get it, then I don’t care.”

“Oh, but you should.” she jeered, her hand tightening around the heart, and to Killian’s surprise, Emma shouted, her own hold on Killian tightening. “You may think I don’t know you, but the wizard has plenty of toys for me to use. I can _see_ anything, and watching the Dark One is a hobby of mine. I know exactly why the two of you are here and what the Dark One has promised in exchange. I crush this, and Emma never sees her son again.”

“Whose heart is that?” he asked warily, Emma’s protests convincing him that the witch was serious. At his question, Zelena laughed.

“You don’t know?” she asked smugly. “After all this time, Emma still hasn’t told you. How precious.”

It seemed Emma had had enough. She clambered to her feet, Killian following her up and keeping a protective arm in front of her. “Why are you doing this? Why do you need that heart _so_ badly?” she yelled, her voice tremulous. Killian swallowed, Emma’s desperation clear in her tone. Every time they got close to retrieving her son, it seemed something else would make it even more difficult, and with Zelena’s hand wrapped around the heart she needed, Emma was unable to do anything to stop the witch.

“I’ve had possession of this heart for years.” Zelena explained, holding the heart in front of her and gazing, enthralled at the glowing red organ. “I hunted it down and I brought it, and it’s owner, back to Oz.”

“So it’s Rumplestiltskin you have an issue with?” Emma questioned, grimacing in frustration. “Because, trust me, that’s something we can all relate to.”

“I’ve known Rumplestiltskin for a very long time. He made a promise to me and he didn’t keep it. And I am going to make him regret it.” Zelena hissed, scraping her nail across the heart and smirking when Emma stepped closer, her expression anxious. “More than he already does, at least. If this person is so important to Rumplestiltskin, he can come and get the heart himself. That is, if he’s not too afraid. Why don’t you go back to him and tell him _that_?”

“Because that won’t get Henry back.” Emma cried, shoving Killian’s arm away and stepping up to Zelena, eyes glistening with tears that she was refusing to let fall. “I will give you anything for that heart. _Anything._ ”

Zelena fell silent, scanning Emma as if trying to make a decision, and then a cruel smirk spread across her face. “I suppose you may have _something_ I can find a use for.” she answered slowly, reaching out to lay a green hand against Emma’s chest, fingers flexing over Emma’s heart. “This heart for yours?”

“Deal.” Emma didn’t even take a minute to think of her answer, and the word passing her lips sent another petrifying shock of fear rocking through him. “Take it.”

“Emma!” he begged, and Emma turned her head to see him, her tears falling the instant her gaze met his. “There must be another way!”

“If this doesn’t work,” she sobbed, and Killian almost looked away, her despair too much, wanting fiercely to pull her away from Zelena, from the deal, and take her somewhere far away. He knew, however, that Emma would do anything for her son, even give up her own heart, perhaps even her own life, and he knew he couldn’t interfere. “Please, save Henry. Take him home.”

Killian nodded, stretching his hand out so he could hold her hand when Zelena decided to take her heart, but their touch seemed to drive Zelena to act. With another vicious sneer on her face, and before either of them could react, she vanished in a puff of green smoke, reappearing only inches from Killian and thrusting her hand inside his chest, wrapping it around his heart and pulling him closer, Emma’s scream reverberating in his ears.

“The deal was for _my_ heart!” Emma wailed, wrenching at Zelena’s arm and trying to pull her away from Killian, but Zelena was immovable. “Why are you taking his?”

“I’m being _kind_.” the witch declared, the expression on her face displaying her glee at the situation. “Your whole motivation for trading your heart is to get your son back. If I take your heart, you won’t care enough to try. I take _his_ , and you’re just given even more incentive. Besides, our deal still stands. You gave your own heart to him long ago.”

“Then no deal.” Emma whispered. “I’ll just find another way. And I _will_ succeed.”

“No. We leave, that heart gets crushed.” Killian groaned through gritted teeth, Zelena’s hold on him tightening the instant he spoke. He grimaced, trying to hide the pain, and then wrested the heart out of Zelena’s hand, tossing it over to Emma. She scrambled to catch it, cradling it in her hands. “This is the only way. If this means you get back to Henry, I am happy to do this. Make the deal.”

Emma wasn’t given the opportunity to answer, Zelena pulling his heart out and examining it, appearing amused by the faint black streaks that marred his heart. He felt empty, his feelings muted and distant. He watched, indifferent, as Emma fell to her knees, shaking with violent sobs. “Why him?” she stammered. “What do you want Killian’s heart for?”

“I’m simply going to hold on to it. For now.” she answered. “I’m going to enjoy watching you be miserable without him, knowing that he no longer cares. Look at him, Emma. You’re a wreck, and he isn’t even blinking an eye.”

Zelena walked away, not leaving the room and keeping her gaze locked on the two of them, but giving them space to talk. Emma struggled to stand, still trembling, and then moved in front of him, laying a hand gently on his cheek. He acknowledged something, buried deep down, but the warmth refused to diffuse through him, the emotions she was bringing out too subdued for him to truly feel.

Instinctively, he gently brushed the tear tracks off her cheeks and then stepped back, putting distance between the two of them. He heard a click, Zelena having snapped her fingers, and the two guards that had escorted him into the palace stepped into the hall, seizing his arms and starting to drag him away. Emma tried to follow him, but the same green spell that had trapped him before descended onto her, holding her mid-step, and despite her distraught demeanor, he didn’t feel a thing.

~~~*~~~

_Despite their arrangement, Cora refused to allow Killian any freedom, her guards escorting him through the palace to a small room in the servants’ quarters, taking his sword, and then standing guard outside the door._

_He slumped down on the bed, his mind racing. The moment he had plunged his hook into Cora’s empty chest, he had lost all control of the situation. Agreeing to help her murder Regina, her own daughter, was his only option, and although he disliked both women, the idea of assisting Cora with prolicide was making him ill at ease._

_Noticing a glint of light reflecting from his hook, he raised the appendage in front of his face, examining it for any sign of the Queen’s spell. It looked no different than it had before, but Killian had watched it sink easily into Cora, leaving no mark behind. For a moment, he wanted to take it off and toss it aside, the thought of being capable of ripping out hearts disgusting him._

_He clicked the hook out of the brace and dropped it onto the shaky end table, wincing at the loud clatter it made when it hit the wood. He wanted his revenge, and both Regina and Cora had promised to help him achieve such a desire, but betraying one witch or the other seemed highly likely to end in disaster. With both women happy to kill their own family, he could hardly trust either of them to keep their word to him._

_Killian tried to think up a plan, a way to get what he wanted without becoming too involved in the family issues of the Evil Queen, and normally, he would have already succeeded. He didn’t know enough, the motivations of the two women hidden, and he wasn’t familiar enough with either of them to attempt to figure them out and find a way to manipulate them._

_He plotted for as long as he could, distracted only when he heard the door start to open, quickly reattaching his hook before the guards started to drag him off somewhere else. This time they led him to a large dining hall, the table piled with food, with Cora sitting at the far end._

_“You may leave us.” she said in dismissal, and the guards thrust Killian into the chair opposite the Queen of Hearts before abandoning the room._

_Cora remained silent for a few minutes, Killian watching suspiciously as she filled her plate. Once she had finished, he served himself food from the same trays, trusting their safety only because Cora was consuming the same. “So how do you intend to get close to your daughter?”_

_“Isn’t it obvious, Hook?” Cora stated with a wry grin. “You will take my corpse to her as planned, except I will use a spell to simply appear dead. The minute she approaches, I’ll show her the true meaning of power.”_

_“Power?” Killian repeated, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. “I don’t know how long you’ve been exiled to this realm, but your daughter has the rather distasteful moniker of ‘The Evil Queen’. I assure you, she understands what it is to have power.”_

_“Only because I showed her.” Cora explained, an ugly scowl crossing her face. “I made Regina the woman she is today. I deserve her gratitude.”_

_“Oh, of course.” Killian drawled, thinking that if Cora truly had shaped Regina into the woman he had had the pleasure of meeting, she hadn’t been the greatest mother in the realm. “I hate to ask, but is a lack of gratefulness reason enough to kill your own daughter?”_

_Cora laughed at his question, but refused to answer, daintily eating another few bites before speaking. “It was my own daughter who exiled me here, Captain.” she declared, impressing Killian with Regina’s apparent determination to rid the realm of her own mother and for a moment, he speculated on the reason why. Surely a mother would have to be terrible to elicit such drastic actions from their own child, and once again, he began to reconsider his deal with Wonderland’s Queen. “I gave her her best chance and she hated me for it. I made her happy ending possible. Without me, she would not be able to even cast her curse. I was the one who taught her that love is weakness. And for her curse, she has to know that.”_

_“This curse, what exactly does it involve?” Killian asked, intrigued by Cora’s statement. “I’m aware that it will end with everyone in another land, one without magic, but surely such magic has a heavy price?”_

_“You know more about magic than I thought.” Cora commented absently, spearing a potato viciously with her knife. “You’re correct. This curse requires the heart of whoever it is Regina loves the most.”_

_He paused, looking up at the Queen of Hearts. He didn’t know Regina’s reasons behind casting such a curse, but he knew love and he knew that no curse was worth giving it up. He looked down, surprised to realize that he felt pity for the two women. For them to truly think that the price was worth it, that love was a weakness, he was certain that they must never have felt anything close to what he had felt with Milah. Despite losing her, he would rather have experienced love than to have remained oblivious._

_It was the first time that he considered the two women genuinely dangerous. Being driven by love, the way he was, was formidable enough, but Cora’s motivations surely meant that she would be willing to do anything for power. If her daughter was the same way, as Cora had suggested, he had found himself caught in a very dangerous game._

_They ate the rest of the feast in silence, Killian’s mind racing. There had to be something he could do to regain some command over the situation, and it’s those words that bring to mind what Cora had told him before, when her hand was fisted around his heart._

_When you hold a heart, you control it._

_He peered up at Cora, a plan forming in his mind. Her heart may not be in her chest, but without it somewhere, still beating, she wouldn’t be alive. If he could get hold of her heart, the situation with Cora would be his to control. He could use her to get what he wanted, instead of (himself) being a tool to be used by the two Queens. Should Regina offer a better deal, Cora’s death would be easy; and if not, Cora would do his bidding with only one squeeze._

_The only problem with such a plan was finding the woman’s heart. He had a hunch - the maze had had too many protections to simply be a garden feature - and all he needed was to decide if the risk was worth it._

_Killian was still undecided when the servants arrived to clear the food away, Cora dabbing neatly at her mouth before turning a calculating, lascivious gaze on him. He swallowed, familiar with such a look, instinctively returning a carefree grin and a cheeky raised eyebrow._

_Cora clicked her fingers, the two guards marching into the room and flanking him. “Now, Hook.” Cora began, standing from the table, one finger drawing vague patterns on the mahogany of the table. “You may either sleep in the servants chambers, watched, always, by my guard, or you can spend the night in my bedchambers.”_

_Killian tried to hide the curl of his lip, not interested in the offer. Instead, he plastered a charming smile across his face and shook his head with a chuckle. “Unfortunately, my dear, I prefer not to mix business with pleasure.”_

_Cora hummed in amusement, gesturing for the guards to take hold of him and watching as they dragged him from the room. It was this captivity that finally made up his mind, Killian refusing to be called a partner and treated as a prisoner for any longer. He walked with them without complaint, waiting until they were a decent distance from the dining room before starting to struggle, forcing the guards’ grip to loosen until he could tug one arm  free and plunge his hook into the mans neck, a wretched gurgle echoing from his mouth as he collapsed to the ground._

_Killian didn’t spare the dead man another thought, spinning on his heel to face the remaining escort. The man looked shocked, the quick death of his colleague apparently shocking him into stillness. “Are you going to stop me,” Killian asked, his voice dark, brandishing the blood-stained hook menacingly in front of his face. “Or are you going to hand over your sword and let me go unimpeded? I’d recommend the latter.”_

~~~*~~~

Killian only tried to escape out of obligation, feeling rather apathetic towards his own imprisonment. The witch’s men had dragged him down some steps into a small dungeon, locking him up and leaving him alone in the darkness. He had half-heartedly rattled the bars of the cage, yelled out a few times for assistance, and then slumped against the wall, busying himself with twisting the hook in his brace.

He felt rather curious about Emma’s deal with the Dark One, though it felt more like obligation to wonder about it rather than actual intrigue. However, he had nothing else to preoccupy himself with. He could only think of one person Rumplestiltskin would be so desperate to find, and he felt a vague dismay at the realisation that he had taken so long to figure it out.

The thought didn’t bother him for long, too inconsequential to waste time dwelling on it, and he scratched absently at the walls, perking his head up when he heard footsteps approaching.

It as Emma, her neck covered with finger-shaped bruises and a red mark marring her cheek. At the sight of him, she hastened across to the cell, her hands cupping a beating, black-lined heart, her wide-eyed gaze locked on him. He tilted his head inquisitively, but remained seated by the far wall, not concerned enough to approach.

“I wasn’t expecting a visitor so soon.” he stated, using his hook to pick inattentively at his fingernails. “I assumed the witch would want to keep you away from me. Don’t you have somewhere more important to be?”

“Not more important to me.” Emma answered, reaching out one hand towards him, and he merely stared at it, a slow ebb of _something_ pulsing through him. It wasn’t a strong enough feeling to identify, but it was enough to make him interested, and he stretched his hand out to meet hers, allowing her to pull him up to the bars.

“How did you get that?” he asked, his hand still entwined loosely with hers, staring down at his own heart. “What about the heart you needed? The one that I traded _that_ for?”

“I still have it.” she told him, moving their joined hands to brush against a pouch tied to her waist. She opened her mouth to explain, but seemed to think better of it, drawing him as close as possible, his body pressing against the bars, and then raised his heart to his chest, pushing it into his chest. The weight of it inside him made him gasp, an overwhelming flood of emotion surging through him. He stared up at Emma, the sight of her once again the most beautiful thing he had seen in his centuries of existence, anger spreading through him as he brushed the cold curve of his hook against the red imprint of her cheek. “I traded the music box for the heart and my old necklace for the short visit. You’re not free, and that witch can still hurt you, but you can keep your heart. It took some persuading to get her to agree, but she gave in in the end.”

“You shouldn’t have given up the music box for me.” Killian insisted, releasing her hand so that he could cup her face through the bars. “That was all you had to remember Henry.”

“It was broken.” Emma muttered, voice lowering to a whisper. “Besides, I don’t need an object to remember Henry. I’m going to get back to him. I know that now. You made me believe.” She smiled shakily, and then kissed him, her hand snaking between the bars to cup the back of head and hold him to her, both of them ignoring the pain of the bars against their faces. He ran his tongue along the seam of her lips, deepening the kiss when her mouth parted under his, her hand tugging at his hair in a useless attempt to pull him even closer.

They were both panting heavily when they parted, remaining as close as they could with the bars obstructing them, breath mingling in the small space between them.

“Emma?” he murmured, his hand tangling with hers once again. “This person you’re looking for, it’s Baelfire, isn’t it?” She sighed wearily, the noise all the confirmation she needed. “You could have told me. Why didn’t you? I know the thought of seeing him again must be hard for you, and I could have helped you bear it.”

“I needed to not talk about it.” she answered, her voice wavering and her grip on his hand tightening. “If you didn’t know, we wouldn’t have to discuss it and I could pretend that I never had to see him again. Me not telling you had nothing to do with you. And then, I guess, I felt it was too late to tell the truth, even though I _knew_ , of course, you’d figure it out eventually.”

“I should have worked it out sooner.” Killian lifted their joined hands to brush a kiss over her knuckles, an attempt to comfort her even though everything was going wrong. “Who else would the Dark One want so desperately?”

“I have his heart and I know where he is. Someplace called the Woodsman’s Palace.” she declared. “Now all I need is to find him and convince him to come back with us. Considering that he ran the night he heard his father was free, I doubt that will be easy.”

Killian tilted his head to look at her, a cunning smirk crossing his face. “We have more of an advantage than you seem to be aware of.” he explained, an air of excitement surrounding him. With Emma’s new information and his knowledge, it seemed they were closer to Henry’s retrieval than ever before. “If you hold a heart, you can control it. No matter what Baelfire wants, you take that heart and you tell him to follow us back to the Dark One, and he will have no choice but to do as you say.”

Emma blinked, taken aback by his sudden enthusiasm. “No.” she protested, and Killian couldn’t stop the confused stare he sent her way. She had everything she needed to persuade Baelfire to return to his father’s side, and he couldn’t see what she was protesting about. “Baelfire will come with us without me having to use the same methods as that witch. We’ll make him listen to reason, make him understand. He’ll come back. I’m sure he will.”

“Last time I spoke to him, I gathered he didn’t want to be reunited with his father.” Killian persisted, watching as Emma’s hand closed protectively over the pouch containing Baelfire’s heart. “Look, I think it’s admirable, incredible even, that you refuse to do such things. I would suggest, however distasteful you find it, holding on to his heart. A back-up plan.”

He felt Emma shift away from him, her hand dropping from his, and she was looking at him as if she’d never seen him before. He swallowed, unable to meet her eyes when he realised what he was seeing in them. Perhaps this was the moment that she saw the mistake she had made in trusting him, the wicked pirate who used methods too dark to even cross her mind. He had been right in his thinking before, she was far too good for him, deserving someone so much better and that look he had seen flash through her eyes brought to light all the fears that had been building in his mind - one day she would see him for what he really was and she would turn away.

He nearly stepped away from her, the disappointment in himself a heavy weight on his shoulders that he almost found too hard to bear. It was only when he saw Emma’s foot move, taking a step away from him, that he looked back up at her, gazing hungrily at her face, desperate to remember every single plane of her face, the glitter of her eyes and the gold of her hair. “Emma, wait!” She stopped moving, and he reached towards her, Emma standing just too far away for him to retake her hand. “Why did you get my heart back?”

She smiles sadly, shrugging her shoulders as if her answer is nothing. “I needed you to have your heart.” she confessed, sounding nervous, her words trembling. “It was selfish of me. I didn’t want to leave you, knowing you couldn’t love me.”

“Nothing could stop me loving you.” he promised, the declaration causing Emma’s breath to hitch. “Even without my heart, I felt more strongly for you than I did for anything else. Granted, I didn’t feel much, but when I saw you, there was something.”

Emma’s eyes were wide, her chest heaving, but she didn’t step any closer, biting her lip as if she was preparing to say something. He tilted his head in question and she looked away before speaking. “The witch was right, you know?” she started, speaking fast as if she could only get the words out if she said it all at once. “I gave you my heart ages ago.”

It was more than he could have ever hoped for, and he pressed himself against the cage in an attempt to cover the last few centimetres between his hand and hers. His attempt wasn’t necessary, Emma throwing herself across the gap between them, his arms reaching through the bars to catch her and wrap around her back, lips meeting in an urgent, hot kiss, his hook resting against the base of her back,  hand clutching at the fabric of her cloak, holding her as close to him as the bars would allow.  

She whimpered, her hands roaming, each brush of her fingers sending a jolt of warmth through him, and he _needed_ her, more than anything, but he couldn’t do anything about it except attempt to hold her even tighter, groaning into her mouth.

It was Emma who pulled back, one hand settling on his cheek. “I will come back for you.” she whispered, resolute, her lips brushing against his with each word. “And then we will finally have that _everything_ we spoke of all those weeks ago.”

“I love you,” he said fervently, and Emma frowned, tilting her head and meeting his eyes as if she was searching for something. Understanding hit him and he focused on all the emotion she made him feel, letting it reveal itself plainly in his raw gaze. Emma’s eyes widened suddenly as she drew in a sudden gasp and nodded speechlessly at him. “ _So much_.”

She beamed at him, and all the worries he had ever had about her response to such words instantly dissipated. He had thought Emma looked happy the day before, when they had been kissing in the street, but now she looked _brilliant_ , her smile his only light in the darkness of the dungeon.

“When I tell you how I feel,” she vowed, her thumb brushing his cheek, nose nuzzling his. “We won’t have these bars between us. So just wait, okay?”

“As you wish.” he breathed, watching Emma walk away, his hand holding onto hers until the last moment possible. She stopped just before the doorway and turned back to face him, the two of them sharing a lingering gaze, Killian mouthing ‘I love you’ one more time, and then she turned on her heel and left him.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! I hope you enjoy this chapter - we're more than halfway through now! Thank you to Hawkeye733 for betaing!

#  **Chapter 7**

Killian’s thoughts were preoccupied with Emma. With his heart back in his chest, he was feeling too much, already missing her desperately and wishing he could be at her side when she reunited with Baelfire.

From what Emma had told him, he knew that Baelfire had abandoned her once he discovered his father was free, leaving her pregnant and with no opportunity to have a traditional courtship. He supposed it was lucky that her parents had accepted her child, when they still remembered him, making him a prince of the kingdom despite his illegitimate beginnings. He knew that, at least until they met, she had still dwelt on Baelfire’s betrayal, and despite her love for her son, he was certain that sometimes Henry would remind her of his father and the betrayal he had inflicted upon her.

As for finding Baelfire, he couldn’t even imagine what would happen. Perhaps Emma would want an apology, a sign that Baelfire felt some guilt over the way he had treated, but with his heart in Emma’s possession and no longer a part of him, Killian knew such feelings would be out of Baelfire’s reach. Any feelings he did still have for Emma would be too muted, too unrecognisable for him to identify, and Killian wondered if Baelfire would treat Emma with the same indifference he had felt without his heart. Even so, he doubted that any nonchalance would be of comfort to her.

Such thoughts raced through his mind as he leant against the damp wall, the musty air slightly suffocating and the temperature chilling. He curled up, arms wrapped around himself, hand rubbing his arm furiously in an attempt to gain some heat. He’d been in worse jails before, but none that he couldn’t escape. Although the cell looked easy enough to break out of - he just needed to reach through the bars with his hook and tamper with the lock until it clicked open - he worried that any escape attempt he made would set the witch against Emma. He was only imprisoned because of a deal, and failure to hold up his end of it might incite the witch to exact vengeance. He couldn’t risk Emma losing her opportunity to reach Baelfire, to complete her deal.

He _missed_ her. She’d left him only hours ago, he wasn’t certain about the exact timing, the lack of natural light making it impossible to read the shadows, but the thought that he might never see her again had settled darkly upon him. He wanted to help her, and the idea of breaking free and killing the witch, releasing Emma and himself from the deal they had made, was almost too tempting. He grimaced, clenching his fist and leaning harder against the wall. He hated how he was feeling, the ease with which his old malicious thoughts returned without Emma at his side.

She truly did deserve far better than him,but he’d always heard that love was selfish and now that reality was revealing itself to him. He found that he loved her too much to bring himself to drive her away.

~~~*~~~

Killian hadn’t slept, the room too quiet and empty, too still, and he was mid-yawn when he heard the clicking of heels against the stone floor. Grimacing, he adjusted his brace, making sure the hook was securely in place, and then made his way over to the bars. He didn’t want to be curled up in a corner when Zelena came to visit.

When the witch saw him, his hand wrapped around one of the detaining bars, his hook circling another, she cackled, bounding across the small room to stand before him, a piercing look in her eyes.

“You know, pirate?” she started, reaching out to catch his chin with her green hand, forcing him to make eye contact with her. “Sometimes I really am too kind.”

“Yes.” he answered drily, rolling his eyes. “I always find it very generous when one allows me to keep my own heart. Oh no, wait, most people tend to keep their hands off the hearts of others and rarely require a deal to return it to the place it belongs.”

“You should be grateful.” she spat, releasing his face to walk her hand down to his chest, his heart betraying his own anxiety by beating furiously under her touch. “Your heart would have been so _useful._ It’s so full of potential. Of love.”

“Most hearts are.” Killian drawled. “But I can imagine that love is not something that you’d be familiar with.”

The words seemed to trigger something in Zelena and she took a quick step towards him, her hand flexing and her nails scraping the area of his chest exposed by his shirt. “I was never given the chance.” she hissed. “Consider yourself lucky that someone like you even managed to find it.”

“Don’t worry. I do. I can’t see how that makes my heart useful, however.”

“Many people don’t.” Zelena whispered, sounding dangerous, her thumb brushing his chest and causing a disgusted shiver to run through him as he shrunk away from her. “My sister, for instance. Regina. She doesn’t understand the true power of holding a heart, using them purely for control. She enslaves people by trapping their hearts in a vault and then she just waits for an opportune moment. She has no idea what else a heart can be used for.”

The mention of Regina had surprised him, especially the casual way she had divulged the revelation that she was the Wicked Witch’s sister. He had to admit, Cora’s children had not turned out particularly well, both of them set on obtaining power and both of them happy to use the hearts of others in games of manipulation. Then again, it seemed they had taken after their mother. “And what is it that you can do?”

“If anything goes wrong, if Regina finds her happiness, I can go back. I can get the happy ending I deserve.” she explained. “And your heart would be a perfect ingredient.”

“So you’re happy enough to live like this unless Regina becomes happier?” Killian clarified, incredulous at what she had said. “So much for sibling affection.”

“She was handed everything on a plate and yet she ruined her life. She had one thing to do and she couldn’t even bring herself to make the only sacrifice necessary.” Zelena said with a cruel grin. “She’s suffering because of her own mistakes and I’m going to enjoy her suffering until it ends. But when it does, I’m going to change things. Make sure I have the life she was given. The life I deserve.”

“That’s pathetic.” Killian snarled, wrenching himself out of her grip. “For your information, I know Regina. I even know your mother. Trust me, you’re not missing out on anything. I wouldn’t trade anything for such a life. Besides, everyone has things in their life they don’t like but they’re not going to go back in time and change things. I’ve lived a long time and there are things I regret and things I wish hadn’t happened but I wouldn’t go back and change it. For all you know, life will just be worse.”

“It couldn’t be worse.” she seethed. “My father hated me. Rumplestiltskin rejected me. I’m _green_.”

“Poor you.” Killian jeered, her miserable attempts to justify her plan amusing him more than convincing him of her reasoning. Zelena was acting as if she was the only person to ever be wronged in such a way, but too well did Killian recall his father’s abandonment, the furious pain when Rumplestiltskin had taken Milah’s life and removed his hand, the years he had spent ignoring the pain of the brace rubbing against the raw, healing stump. “I can’t imagine anyone else going through similar struggles. I suppose that’s one of the reasons why you had Baelfire’s heart in your possession. It would be rather poetic to use the heart of Rumplestiltskin’s long lost son. But now, you have no heart at all.”

“We’ll see.” she muttered, glancing down to where he knew his heart was beating steadily.

Killian grinned winningly at her, an attempt to irritate her into leaving. “You made a deal, remember? You can’t touch my heart. And even if you could, you have to know that my heart belongs solely to Emma.”

“How adorable.” she simpered, flicking a finger and laughing harshly as an invisible force dragged him back towards the bar. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not of any use. A spell involves more than one ingredient, after all.” This time she ran her finger along his temple, nails scraping his skin and leaving a thin red line. “There are other things I could take from you. Other things I might need. Your brain, for instance. Or maybe your courage. I don’t need to decide just yet.”

“Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.” He taunted, gesturing his hook at the dismal surroundings. “And now I think on it, for you to… do whatever it is you’re planning, you won’t be going far enough back to get rid of me. For all you know, I’ll be there every single time to get in your way.”

“You’re right. I know when I want to travel to and you, captain, are safe.” she agreed, a malicious smirk distorting her face. “But watch it. You _irk_ me and if I’m too annoyed, I might take a side trip to visit your precious Emma. I could obliterate her whole existence, should I choose to.”

Killian snarled, rattling at the bars as if he had enough strength to break them apart, and Zelena threw her head back in amusement. “I’ll get out of here. I’ll stop you.”

“Good luck with that.” she laughed. “If I have no prisoner, Emma has no deal. The _instant_ I see this cell empty, I can simply poof to wherever Emma is, take that heart and _crush_ it. And maybe, for fun, I’ll crush Emma’s heart too.”

Killian’s lip curled, and without a thought, he thrust his hook through the bars, point aimed at her chest, but it vanished in a puff of smoke before it could make contact. He snarled, gazing down at the appendage Zelena was now holding in her hand. “If you hurt Emma, if you even touch her, I will kill you. I will find a way.”

“Oh, I’d like to see you try.” There was another puff of green smoke, this time engulfing the witch in her entirety, and within seconds she was gone, his hook clattering to the floor. He roared in frustration, the encounter with the witch racing through his mind. She had visited him merely to taunt him, for she had offered no further deals, instead simply letting him know exactly what she was capable of and leaving him to stew on it.

Before he could curl back up in the corner, he strained to take back his hook, but no matter how close he pressed himself to the bars, the instrument remained just out of reach of his fingertips, a tormenting reminder of not only his vulnerability in the cell, but of what he had been willing to do to the witch. He gave up after several minutes, a disgruntled growl escaping him as he backed away but even in the far corner, the hook glimmered in the faint green light and he couldn’t avert his stare, his murderous intent weighing him down as he dwelt on exactly what he had been considering to allow him to stand once again by Emma’s side.

~~~*~~~

It was only after his attempted attacked of Zelena that Killian began to consider that it might be better for him and Emma to be separated, at least for the task that was ahead. He imagined that, with no heart and no true reason to return home, persuading Baelfire to go back to the Enchanted Forest would be difficult. After the way they had parted in Neverland, there was a good chance that his presence would simply hinder any progress Emma made with him.

It was one of the few things he had kept from Emma, the look on Baelfire’s face as the lost ones covered it with a sack was something that still haunted him on occasion. After Milah, Baelfire had been the one thing that had brought him happiness. The boy’s rejection had opened him back up to the darkness, and his anger over what happened had led to him betraying Baelfire to Pan and abandoning him to the terrors of Neverland.

He should have told Emma - warned her about his past with Baelfire. He would be unable to bear it if a mention of him was the thing that prevented Baelfire from travelling with them and stopped her from reuniting with her son.

Perhaps knowledge of his son would be enough to make Baelfire join them. Both Baelfire and Killian knew what it felt like to be abandoned by their fathers, and Killian felt certain that if Baelfire became aware of Henry’s existence, he would want to become part of his life.

Maybe Emma didn’t want that. They had discussed Henry during their time on the Jolly Roger and how she had raised him, helped by her parents, and never once had she expressed a need for a father for her son.  Except maybe that was something she had thought didn’t need to be said. Surely a father figure would be a good thing for Henry, but maybe a man who had abandoned Emma was not someone she wanted to be a part of her child's life.

It was the first time he had truly thought about Henry, the solitude in the dungeon giving him the opportunity to ponder on all the thoughts he had pushed aside as he focused on Emma and supporting her quest. Although Emma had mentioned the three of them travelling together, he had never considered what it actually meant. Emma wanted them all to be together, to be a family, and as overwhelming and _perfect_ as that thought was, it also sent a rush of panic through him.

Baelfire was proof that he couldn’t look after a child, not even a child of someone he loved, but for Emma he would try. However, he had barely met Henry, not even shared more than a few words with him, and he remembered those words clearly.

_“Who even are you?”_

Despite his closeness to Emma, their relationship would become far more difficult should her son not feel comfortable, and he would understand she left him due to Henry. If her son did welcome him into their small family, it would be another person that Killian wanted to be good for, another reason to remain on this path Emma had led him onto, and another person he couldn’t face if he discovered, as he still feared, that his newfound goodness was simply a facade.

He swallowed, his one hand clenching into a fist. He _needed_ to be better than he was. For Emma, for Henry, for himself. Killian closed his eyes, desperate to bury the thoughts until he was in a better state to mull it all over, not freezing and exhausted in a green dungeon.

Perhaps he really had changed. He did act different. With Milah, he had never been as affectionate, any hint of softness something she had scoffed at, but it came easily to him around Emma. He wanted to show her how he felt, and the quick, simple, _intimate_  gestures were the best way to do that. His love for Emma may have surprised him, but he had accepted it wholeheartedly. Allowing her light into his life  had brought the intense need to be good, to prove he was a man who deserved such love.

Perhaps giving up his own freedom, his own heart, to give Emma the chance to save her son was enough.

He doubted anything would be.

~~~*~~~

Killian thought he had slept, but once again found the lack of sunlight left him unable to figure out how much time had passed, if any, and any nap he had managed had not been long enough to refresh him.

He rubbed his eyes and then sighed, his head resting on the wall, eyes closed.

“Sleeping would probably make your time here go a bit faster.” Jefferson couldn’t be here. He groaned, imagining that hearing voices was probably not a good sign, especially only after a couple of days in the dungeon. “You’re being rude again. Not even bothering to look at me now?”

Reluctantly, he opened one eye and peered over to the other side of the bars, gaping slightly when he saw Jefferson standing there, glancing nonchalantly around the dank room, holding Killian's hook loosely in one hand. He didn’t even seem bothered that he was standing in a dungeon where he was less than welcome. “You’re here?”

“Why, it appears I am.”

Killian clambered to his feet and crossed the cell to stand before his friend, snatching the hook away and reattaching it. “Where’s Emma?”

“Somewhere on her way to Winkie Country.” he answered, shrugging and ignoring the desperation tinging Killian’s voice.

“Why didn’t you go with her?”

“Well, she asked me to help out but I decided I had better ways to use my time.” he stated boredly, pulling a lockpick out of his sleeve and starting to fiddle the the lock of the cell. “Like visiting my friend.”

Killian grimaced, reaching out to grab Jefferson’s wrist and stop him. “I made a deal. You can’t free me. No prisoner, no deal. I can’t risk Emma’s safety.” He canted his head slightly, gazing curiously at the hatter. “How did you even get here? Emma needed to make a deal to visit me.”

“I used to smuggle magical artifacts for the Dark One.” Jefferson drawled, raising an eyebrow in amusement. “I’m well practised at getting into places I’m not supposed to. I’m also good at finding loopholes in deals.”

“Loopholes?”

“No prisoner, no deal. I spoke to Emma, remember. She told me what happened. The trade of the music box got rid of the proviso that she needed Emma’s heart. Just a prisoner. That’s clear enough.” Jefferson explained slowly. “Did she specify that you needed to be the prisoner or was that just assumed? From what Emma said, no names were involved in the final deal.”

“How does this help me?”

“Lack of sleep makes you stupid.” Jefferson added, but his lack of laughter suggested his mood was far more serious than his comment had suggested. “It’s simple. You get out, I get in. You head off to help your true love find her old love and I spend some time reflecting inside this lovely cell.”

“Emma told you a lot.” Killian muttered, delaying having to question Jefferson’s sudden willingness to trap himself in the Wicked Witch’s palace. “Her old love? I can’t imagine that’s something she told you willingly.”

“I read between the lines. She’s not too great at hiding what she’s feeling.” Jefferson said. “Now hurry up and let me switch places with you.”

Killian frowned but released Jefferson’s arm and watched him pick the lock, the padlock clicking open and the cell door swinging ajar. He hesitantly stepped across the threshold of the cell, watching with wide eyes as Jefferson took his place and slammed the door shut, lock clicking back into place and trapping the hatter inside the witch’s cell.

“Thank you.” he murmured, searching Jefferson’s expression for some explanation for his sudden burst of heroism. “I’d hate to trouble you further, but directions would be handy.”

“Go west.” Jefferson stated. “You’ll find the Woodsman’s Palace near the border of the Vinkus. Get Emma, get Baelfire and then keep going until you find the witch’s palace, Kiamo Ko. I’ll be there. Once the wicked witch finds me here, she’s not going to keep me in this cell. She’ll be rather angry, and the prisoners she really doesn’t like go to her old palace.”

“Doesn’t like? This hardly sounds a good deal for you, mate.” Killian stated, watching as Jefferson held out his leather satchel. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Jefferson nodded, watching as Killian took the satchel from his hand and slung it over his shoulder. “There’s a map in there and some food.” Killian rummaged through the bag and drew out a crumpled piece of parchment, a map drawn roughly on to it, a style he recognised from the navigational charts he and Jefferson used to draw during their travels throughout Neverland. “As for this, taking your place, don’t worry. I’m not doing it out of some desire to be a good man. If Emma succeeds and takes her son back from Rumplestiltskin, surely I can save my Grace from the Queen. Success will be far more likely if you and Emma are together. Don’t worry, Hook. I’m as selfish as I’ve always been.”

Killian raised an eyebrow, taking in the dismal expression on Jefferson’s face and then shook his head. “That’s a nice lie, that.” he stated, ignoring how Jefferson inhaled sharply. “But I don’t believe it for a second.”

“Believe what you want.”

“Look, she wanted to keep me so she could use my brain or my courage in some sort of curse. With you, your heart’s probably at risk as well.” Killian warned, focussing on rolling the map back up instead of meeting Jefferson’s gaze. “Just be careful. We’ll get you out of this prison, but try not to annoy her into killing you before we get the chance.”

“I’ll be good.” Jefferson agreed, his lips curling up into a small, grateful smile. “As for her curse, it’s not like I have any brains or courage for her to take. As for my heart, it might be nice to feel nothing for a while.”

Killian’s eyebrows furrowed, Jefferson’s desolate tone worrying him. Leaving Jefferson in a cell didn’t seem like a good plan, especially after Jefferson had been trapped in Wonderland for so long. However, being able to find Emma and help her seemed like a much better idea than waiting in a cell for her to return to him, with or without Baelfire. “I don’t know about that. It’s pretty courageous to swap places with me.”

“What? Locking myself away instead of helping the princess save her son? You’re right, that is brave.”

“You are helping.” Killian insisted, punching Jefferson lightly on the arm and grinning at his taken-aback expression. “And when we succeed, we’ll get you out, get you home, and get you Grace. I promise I will help you.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I try not to.” Killian stated, adjusting the satchel on his shoulder and preparing to leave. “Just so you know, Jefferson, a bad man wouldn’t do this.”

He didn’t give Jefferson a chance to respond, striding out the room before Jefferson could speak. He didn’t look back, not wanting to see his friend trapped behind the bars that had held him for the past few days. A profound sense of hope spread through him, the green corridor bound to lead him out of the palace, to Emma, and despite his friend’s newfound imprisonment, he couldn’t stop the grin spreading across his face.

Everything was going to be fine.

~~~*~~~

It was only when he ran into a large group of guards that Killian realised just how skilled Jefferson was at getting into places he wasn’t supposed to. The group of men had seemed at ease until they spotted the pirate, clearly having no idea that someone had already snuck into the palace and set the prisoner free.

“What are you doing out of your cage?” One guard asked, slowly raising his halberd and pointing it at Killian. “Now turn around and go back or we’ll be forced to kill you.”

“I could say the same.” Killian stated with a charming grin. “You step back or I’ll have to kill you. And I think it would be best for all of us if you simply let me go.”

“We can’t.” Another said, this one focusing solely on Killian’s hook, hand wrapped around the emerald-laden hilt of his sword. “You die or Zelena kills us all. There’s only one option for us.”

“Then I’m sorry.” Killian replied, the old, familiar, threatening smirk teasing the edges of his lip. “But I can’t let you stop me.”

The guards attacked first, the one with a sword lunging at Killian, who ducked out of the way. The sword clanged against the wall as Killian stepped around the guard, plunging his hook habitually into the man’s neck and flinching away when he gargled and slumped into the wall, eyes glazed over.

He paused for a second, guilt at the man’s death flooding through him, but he had no opportunity to deliberate on such things, the blade of a halberd missing him by a hair's breadth, nicking his ear but causing no further damage.

Although he hadn’t planned on such a fight, he wasn’t going to let the guards stop him from reaching Emma. He curled his hand around the pommel of the dead patrolman’s sword, the emeralds making it weightier than the weapons he was used to. He tightened his grip and then spun around, swinging the sword with him, coat flaring out, the blade catching the nearest guard and drawing a red line across his chest, the guard falling to his knees.

He hadn’t fought in a long time, the rush of danger exhilarating in a way he hadn’t experienced in months, different to the euphoria he felt around Emma. A sword rushed at him and he blocked it, the blade close to his chest. He kicked out at the guard, catching the man’s shin and chuckling as the guard stumbled. It was easy, then, to brush the man's sword away and thrust his own towards him, the point piercing the other man’s stomach.

He only came back to himself when all the guards had fallen, some unconscious but most of themno longer breathing, and when he looked at the devastation around him, the brief guilt he had felt before returned. He hadn’t even thought about it, fighting them, _killing_ them, without any hesitation, and every single thing he had considered in the cell filtered through his mind.

This was not the work of a good man.

He dropped the sword to the ground, wincing when the metal hit the marble floor with an echoing clang, and then glanced around, leaning down to close the eyes of the dead men, eyes drawn to the wounds left by his hook. He could leave the sword behind, but he had considered his hook a part of him for years. Now, however, seeing the damage he could do with it, it was purely a weapon, one that he used without thought.

His hand shaking, he twisted the hook out of the leather brace, holding it out in front of him and staring at the red-stained metal. He couldn’t leave it but he didn’t want to wear it, not with all these doubts and fears taking him over, and he stuffed it into the satchel.

He didn’t need a weapon. He just needed to find Emma.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! I hope you enjoy this weeks update! Thanks for the comments and kudos! Massive thanks to Hawkeye733 for betaing!

#  ** Chapter 8 **

It seemed that directions in Oz tended to be simple. Outside of the Wizard’s palace, in the square, were four wide roads, one pointing in each compass direction. The routes were signposted, making it possible for Killian to rush along the westward route, putting as much distance between himself and the palace as he could. He was certain that, even if the deal hadn’t technically been violated, Zelena would be furious at the exchange of prisoners, and he didn’t want to be anywhere near the palace when Jefferson was discovered.

The marble road of the emerald city merged into a uneven pebbled path, surrounded by a wet marsh land that seemed unending. Killian wanted to stop - two nights without sleeping had left him exhausted - but Emma had been travelling for an equally long time, and if he wanted to catch up to her, taking a break didn’t seem like an ideal plan.

So he kept walking. Jefferson had released him early morning, and hours later, the red sun setting overhead, Killian found himself still walking in a straight line. The temperature had increased, a sweltering heat causing the air to ripple and the marshland to dry out, the humidity too overbearing and the yellow, muddy ground cracked and barren.

Such torridity might have slowed Emma down and Killian hoped that if he continued at this pace, he would be at her side before she found Baelfire. However, the combination of fatigue and the oppressive heat was nauseating.

He needed to stop.

He needed to find her.

Killian continued walking throughout the night, the climate growing colder once the sun had set, and the freezing temperatures felt refreshing after a day under the burning sun, the chill keeping him awake and moving.

The conditions were harsh and he wished he had been with Emma when she made the same journey. Without her, he was desperately trying to make the same journey in as short a time as possible, looking forward to leaving the desert and finding himself in the forest at its edge, the Woodsman’s palace located only a few miles into its depths.

The sun rose the next day and brought the same high temperatures back with it. Killian shrugged off his leather coat - the vestment far too heavy for such weather - and after barely an hour, he needed to remove his vest as well, leaving him in his loose-sleeved shirt. The weather created a fever inside him, his mind foggy and faint, sweat dampening his clothes, skin burning. Even the rationed swigs of water from his flask weren’t helpful, giving him only brief moments of relief before he fell victim to the sickness again.

It was too much, but he couldn’t stop. It was less about reaching Emma - although that was still something he desperately desired - and more about finding shade, knowing that the forest would be covered.

That night he tried to sleep but without his constant motion, the desert was too cold. His coat kept out the wind, but wasn’t helpful against the chill. The shivering was unbearable, and his movements were sluggish, frequently causing him to trip over the pebbles laid into the road.

He wished Jefferson had warned him about the extreme conditions he would face, and he hoped his friend had told Emma. He couldn’t focus on much, being far too tired for that, only able to picture Emma traversing the dry flats, the dire circumstances weakening her the way they were weakening him, and it was only that thought that spurred him on. She would have followed the path, that much was certain, and should she have fallen - a thought which terrified him - he would have seen her.

One thought he couldn’t ignore was that if he didn’t get out of the desert soon, he doubted he’d survive much longer.

Midway through the following day, with the sun at his highest point in the sky, he reached the edge of the forest. The trees had pale bark and widespread branches, the forest appearing more like a high, yellow bush than the ones more commonly found in the Enchanted Forest, and he could see a ligneous turret peeking over the treetops.

The instant he found shade, he collapsed into its darkness, resting his head against a tree and closing his eyes, an overwhelming sense of weakness spreading through him now that he no longer had a desperate need to get out of the sunlight. He needily gulped down water, aware enough not to finish it all.

He felt so exhausted that even finding Emma was no longer a priority, the tepid air making it easy for him to close his eyes and slip into a slumber.

~~~*~~~

He awoke to the feeling of something cold resting against his forehead, his eyes opening slowly to the sight of Emma, her eyebrows furrowed in concern and a pink tinge to the end of her nose, golden hair pulled back into a loose knot.

“And now I’m hallucinating.” he mumbled, reaching out to curl some of her flyaway strands of hair around his fingers, surprised when he actually felt her there, the contact making him feel peaceful, at ease after days of torment and uncertainty. Emma’s brilliant eyes widened, her hand finding his and tangling their fingers together.

“You’re not hallucinating.” she said, her voice as quiet as his. “But you’re not… you’re so hot, Killian. What happened? How did you get here?”

“The same way you did. Through the desert.” he answered, distracted from her questions by the remaining haziness of his thoughts and the way the sunlight was creating a golden glow around his princess.

“But, you were in jail. For you to be here, you must have gotten free soon after I left.”

“Or been released after a couple of days and not stopped for a break.” he finished, his eyelids falling closed and breath slowing. “I wanted to be with you when you found Baelfire, and nothing short of imprisonment was going to stop me. Jefferson let me out, and since then, I’ve been chasing after you, trying to catch up.”

“You walked non-stop through a desert so that you could find me?” she clarified, her thumb brushing against his shut eyes until he peered up at her. “That’s romantic. And stupid.”

“Stupid?”

“Yes.” As if to emphasise her point, her hand brushed down his cheek, his neck, and then settled on his chest, the contact sending a white-hot pain through him. “You’re burnt. Terribly. Your nose is all red.”

“I don’t care.” he said with a shrug, sighing as Emma leant down to brush a cool kiss to the corner of his mouth, followed by another one to his cheek. “You found me and I love you.”

“I think you’re still a bit delirious.” However, a smile teased the corner of her lips and her entire countenance softened. She moved away, kneeling next to him and gazing at him, Killian lifting himself up onto his elbows so he could focus more intently on her. “Or maybe I am. I can’t believe you’re actually here. I wasn’t sure when I’d see you again.”

“Come here, sweetheart.” he said simply,  mouth falling open when she straddled him, her hands resting lightly on his shoulders. She leant down to take his lips with hers, biting gently on his lower lip before opening her mouth to him, tongues tangling lazily. When the kissing drew to a reluctant end, the two of them still pressed closely together, he beamed up at her. “I can’t believe I’m here either. I have to admit, I was worried that the desert would be the last of me. Jefferson’s good deeds didn’t seem to extend to warning me about the journey.”

“The last of you?”

“You have no need to worry, Emma.” he said, pressing closer so each word brushed his lips against hers. “I always survive.”

“Good.” she said softly, eyes fluttering and a coy smile on her lips. He swallowed, staring hungrily at her.

He had never loved anyone the way he loved Emma and the thought terrified and thrilled him all at the same time.

Leisurely, he reached up, still weary, and twisted his hand through her hair, pulling it loose and watching as it fell around her shoulders. “You’re beautiful.” he hummed, and then they were kissing again.

It was different, still slow, but messier, deeper. His hand cradled her head, Emma’s hand caressing his cheek before sliding down his chest to rest at his waist, the tips of her fingers dipping just beneath the waistband of his trousers and causing a hiss to escape him, Emma giggling her response into his lips.

Until Emma, he had never experienced such unhurried passion. Their first kiss, back in Sherwood, had been fast and urgent, desperate, but _this_ was new and incredible. He extricated his hand from her hair, running his hand reverently down her body and then flattening his palm against her side, his thumb brushing the curve of her breast. Emma inhaled sharply before pressing down into him, desire charging through him.

Reluctantly, he pulled away, keeping her anchored to him by moving his hand to the small of her back. “As much as I detest saying this, perhaps doing this in the middle of the forest while I’m suffering from mild exhaustion is a bad idea.” he said with a grimace. “Possibly mild dehydration too. Perhaps finding Baelfire would be a better use of our time, of which I doubt we have much before I fall fast asleep.”

He watched, eyebrow raised curiously, as Emma grimaced and sagged into him, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. “I don’t know what to do, Killian.” she said, words muffled by his own skin. “I don’t want to see Baelfire again. Not after everything.”

Killian relaxed against the tree, encircling Emma with his arms and letting her relax into him, his hand rising to tease the ends of her hair, his other arm taking its place at her back. “I’m not so sure I want to see him again either.” he told her, incapable of repressing a smile as she nuzzled into his neck. “And I can guarantee he doesn’t want to see me.”

He felt her mouth ‘why’ into his skin, and he held her tighter, using her embrace as comfort as he prepared to tell her everything about his history with Baelfire, the regret he had kept hidden from her, not out of any reluctance to share the past, but knowing that a discussion about the man would be at least as hard for Emma as it would be for him.

“I told you before that I had known Baelfire, didn’t I?” he began, a distant look in his eye as he remembered his time in Neverland with Baelfire, centuries earlier. “I’m still not too clear on the exact circumstances that led to our meeting, as it wasn’t as if we met the way I had expected us to.”

He felt another question marked into his skin - what happened - and he tried to suppress a grin, the story too serious for him to be as happy as he felt whenever Emma’s lips moved against him. “I fished him out of the sea. In Neverland. Children are often brought to Neverland, but Baelfire was the only one I had ever seen abandoned before reaching the island. I didn’t know who he was when I let him aboard my ship. I only wanted something I could use as leverage against Peter Pan, the most dangerous villain I have ever faced, save the Crocodile. Be thankful you’ve never met him.”

He paused, trying to figure out how to tell her the whole truth, tugging Emma even closer to him and feeling astounded that they had come this far. Before, when they had revealed their pasts, they hadn’t been able to hold one another, and to have Emma in his arms whilst he told such a story was incredible.

“I couldn’t use him like that when I found out who he was. I mean, I was torn. He was the son of Rumplestiltskin, and I wanted to use him to find out any possible weakness of the Dark One, but he was also Milah’s son. We’d discussed going back for him, although, as much as Milah missed her son, the freedom she had without him was something that always made her delay our trip back. Having him on board felt like I was finally fulfilling that promise I had made to her years before, even if she wasn’t there for it.”

“Would you want a son?” Emma interrupted, raising her head so the words weren’t muffled. “Or was it only because he was Milah’s child?”

His mouth went dry and he gazed down at the woman curled around him, the question completely unexpected. “A son? I’ve never… It’s not been something I’ve ever considered was a possibility for me. Should that ever change, then perhaps. A son or daughter, I wouldn’t mind either way.”

“And Henry?”

“Henry? I don’t know the lad yet, but he’s important to you, which makes him important to me.” he answered easily, bending his head to press a kiss to her forehead and then watching her snuggle back into him, entranced by the serene smile curving her lips and the brief kiss she pressed to his neck. “Now, love, should I continue with my tale or would you prefer to surprise me with further questions?”

“I’ll be quiet.”

“Anyway, I spent a few months with him on the Jolly Roger. I taught him some sword-fighting and how to navigate. The more time I spent with him, the less I wanted to kill Rumplestiltskin, even though Bae had told me about the dagger. I suppose he was my second chance at happiness, after Milah, but it didn’t last.”

“Third time lucky, then?” Emma mumbled, and Killian chuckled. He didn’t know what was making Emma act so open, but he felt so incredibly lucky that she was.

He didn’t answer, but simply tightened his grip. He didn’t want to curse anything by stating out loud his understanding that Emma was _everything_ to him, the thought of losing what they had right here was too painful to consider. “He found a picture of Milah, a self-portrait that I’d kept in the captain’s cabin. He recognised her, of course, and he turned on me. Rumplestiltskin had told him that I was the reason Milah was dead, and although perhaps I was at fault for taking her from her family, it was not my fault she died. He wanted to leave me, and the thought of losing someone else, this time because of who I was and because they wanted to go, I think it broke me. I didn’t cope with it very well, and I twisted it into something I could use, so it wasn’t just me being left again. I gave him one more chance, I asked him if he wanted to stay with me and be a family. He said no.”

He stopped, glancing warily down at Emma. What he was about to admit was one of his greatest regrets, one of the hidden truths from his past that might finally reveal to Emma exactly what he was capable of and how selfish he could be. He didn’t know what he’d do if he spoke and Emma pulled away and left his embrace, but she had to know. He didn’t want to keep anything from her. “Instead of letting him leave, I gave him to the lost ones, to Pan. I thought that if I could benefit from him leaving the ship, maybe his choice to leave me wouldn’t hurt so much. I haven’t seen him since I watched one of the boys stick a bag over his head and take him away.”

He fell silent, watching Emma for any sort of reaction, unsure what to expect. They had spoken of his past, but this was the first time he had told her explicitly about one of his less-than-noble deeds. For a few, terrifying, moments, she didn’t do anything, and then she twisted so she could look up at him, cupping his chin with one hand, her thumb brushing against his lips.

“I’ve always known you were a pirate, Killian. I expected to hear that you’d done some things that weren’t too good.” she said, her voice firm. “You know nothing is going to change how I feel about you. I've told you before. Sure, giving Baelfire away to who you called the most dangerous villain you’d ever faced wasn’t exactly an honourable moment. But, Baelfire left me too and I know how it feels to be left by someone you hoped loved you and I can understand trying anything that could protect yourself from that pain. Not that it was the right thing to do, or anything, but if he met me, then he must have escaped this villain. And again, his time in Neverland… well, if that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have Henry.”

“Emma, don’t.” he sighed, shaking his head at her, astonished by what she had said. “Don’t try to tell me that what I did was reasonable. I gave a young boy to a demon. Nothing can excuse that.”

“You’re right. There’s not an excuse that’s good enough. But you regret it. That’s obvious. And you wouldn’t do it again and you’re not that person anymore. Now you have a chance to make things up to him. You can apologise.”

“Well, there’s that.” He stammered, Emma’s honest answers a balm to all his worries, something he had thought impossible. “We can do this. We’ll find Bae, I’ll tell him I’m sorry and then the three of us will continue west to get Jefferson. And then we can go home. To your son.”

“I’m sorry, what did you just say about getting Jefferson? Another quest?” She had pushed away from the embrace to stare down at him and he grinned winningly.

“What’s life without some adventure?” he joked. “Although, I will admit that a break would have been appreciated. However, I can’t allow the man who took my place in the prison to spend that long rotting in it.”

“He did what?”

“He had an urge to be heroic and let me free, but to keep your deal, he had to stay imprisoned in my stead.” he explained simply. “Don’t let it bother you, not right now. At the moment, focus on Baelfire. He may not be easy to persuade. I’ve been heartless. He’ll have his memories, certainly, but all feelings that may have accompanied them will no longer matter. It will make things easier for me, as he won’t be as furious as he could be, but he won’t have a reason to return back with us to Misthaven. He won’t feel its important.”

“Maybe that lack of feeling could work in our favour.” Emma suggested, voice wavering. “He’ll have no ties to this land, no emotional ones anyway, and his fear of his father may be muted.”

“But he’ll remember. He’ll know he ran away, he’ll know what his father did and he’ll know what he should feel.” Killian pointed out. “Heartless people can appear quite normal, should they want to. Not feeling things doesn’t always keep someone from acting emotionless. It’s just easier, without a heart, to be indifferent. Perhaps if you told him about Henry, he’d return back with us.”

“No.” Emma answered immediately, standing up and starting to pace through the shade, Killian’s eyes following her every step. “I don’t want him to know. Henry’s been fine without a father. He doesn’t need one. He has my dad, and my dad loves him so much, he doesn’t need another father figure in his life.” She was convincing herself more than she was convincing him, and when she passed nearby, he reached out to grab her, faltering when he realised his hook was tucked away in his satchel, and his stump was useless for such things. He swallowed and dropped his arm back to his side despondently, gazing up when Emma halted and stared down at him. “No. Sorry. It’s not that Henry doesn’t need another father figure. I know he’d love one. It’s not that. It’s… Baelfire ran the _instant_ he heard Rumplestiltskin was free. Well, not the instant. He took the time to sleep with me first. But he runs when things get difficult, and with a child, things can be amazing, but they can be difficult too, and I can’t introduce Henry to his _father_ , if he’s just going to up and run away the moment anything gets hard. I can’t do that to Henry. I can’t let my son know what it’s like to be left by someone that you care about.”

Her response now made more sense and he would have made a comment except Emma’s words had brought her close to tears and he couldn’t bear seeing her so upset. He stood up, wobbling slightly when he was hit by a brief dizzy spell, and then reached out to interlace their fingers once more. “I understand, Emma. He’s your son. You’re the only one who has a say in whether or not Bae gets to know about him. You don’t want him to know, don’t tell him.”

She beamed at him, her other hand sliding down his arm and across his brace, stopping when she couldn’t take a hold of his hook. “What? Where’s your hook gone? Did Zelena take it from you?”

Killian swallowed again, shaking his head. “I didn’t need it. I didn’t need a weapon in the desert. It’s in my satchel.”

Emma released his hand, and without looking away, her stare searching, she stepped closer and rummaged through the bag, pulling the hook out and holding it out to him as if it was something precious. He couldn’t look at it, couldn’t bear to see the red that marked it as a weapon. Emma frowned, but didn’t comment, gathering a handful of her shirt in her hand and rubbing it furiously against the now-dull metal, the blood leaving the hook but marking her shirt.

“Stop it.” he bit out, reaching out to still her hand. “Don’t. Don’t just wipe the blood away as if it wasn’t there. I killed guards to get to you. That’s what the hook allowed me to do. Don’t just get rid of it like you don’t care.”

“Were the guards not fighting you?”

“I didn’t have to kill them.” he protested. “I could have knocked them out but it was easier to let them die.”

“Would they have killed you, taken you back to that witch so she could trap you?” she asked, not letting him answer. “This hook can be used as a weapon, sure, but that’s not all it is. I like it, you know? I like being able to hold it when I’m standing on your left. I like how it feels cool when you touch me with it.”

He couldn’t speak, gaping at her as she gently, almost tenderly, reached for his arm and slotted the hook into the leather brace, clicking into place and then leaning to press a kiss to the curve of it. “Emma?”

She seemed unaware of the magnitude of everything she had just said, her hand wrapping loosely around the hook as she started to lead Killian into the forest, towards Baelfire. “Killian? You know before, when you said you loved me?”

Of course he did. He glanced over at her, remembering her lack of response and also what she had said in the witches dungeons, that she would let him know how she felt once there were no bars between them, and his heart started to race, a mixture of anticipation and fear. “I do.”

“I love you too.” She said simply, quietly, as if it wasn’t the most important phrase she could have said to him at that moment, but it was enough to make him stop walking and stare at her, his hand reaching out to caress her cheek. He needed to make sure this was real, that she was really saying these things. “I think I always have.”

“Always?”

“Well, not before we met. I think, before that, I was just waiting for you.”

He could hardly breathe, the words he had longed to hear sounding even more perfect when she was actually saying them. Before he could kiss her and show her exactly how much he loved her or tell her the same, that he had been waiting for her too, she took his hand in hers and began to walk away.

~~~*~~~

_Unlike the first time, the mausoleum hidden in the maze was guarded by four men. Claude’s body had clearly led the guards away from the posts they had held when he visited before. Killian took a few moments to watch them, amused by their exact timing and stiff postures, before approaching the group with a charming grin._

_“Fantastic choreography, I must say,” he told them, a cruel chuckle escaping. “You must have rehearsed for days. Unfortunately for you, your services won’t be needed anymore.”_

_Before they could react, Killian lunged at the first two, thrusting his sword through one of them and then spinning to plunge his hook into the chest of another. They both crumpled to the floor, and Killian stared up at them, eyebrow raised as a taunt._

_They weren’t as synchronised when they were running away._

_With no men left, Killian wasted no time in stepping inside the mausoleum, halting in surprise when he saw that the small room was lined with drawers, each one labelled with two symbols. The air thrummed with heart beats, and Killian knew that there must be dozens of hearts stored in this room. The thought sent a shiver through him, a further desperation to regain his control over the situation with Cora and her daughter._

_He ran his fingers over the golden embossed letters on each drawer, hoping for something that would allow him to figure out which drawer contained the heart of the Queen herself. Perhaps there was some sort of pattern. After a moments thought, and some counting, he understood. There were four different letters on the labels, C, D, H and S, and each appeared thirteen times. Each represent a suite in cards, and with that knowledge, he was certain that Cora’s heart would be trapped behind one of the drawers bearing an H._

_It was easy._

_The second symbol on every drawer was its number, the fifty-two drawers representing an entire pack of cards, and Cora’s heart was bound to be in the box labelled with the letters QH - the Queen of Hearts._

_His hand hovered over the drawer in question for a few moments. If he opened it, he would have her heart in his possession. He would not only be able to control her, but a simple squeeze in his hand and she would stop breathing, stop living the same way Milah had._

_He forced the thoughts away and pulled the drawer open, gaze locked on the glowing, beating organ that lay inside it. He took it, the pulsing heart feeling strange in his grip. He shouldn’t be holding such a thing, it wasn’t natural, but it was the only way he was going to kill the Crocodile without getting involved in another twisted plot._

_Heart in his hand, he stepped back out of the mausoleum, grimacing when he saw Cora was waiting for him, surrounded by what seemed like an entire army of guards._

_“I wasn’t expecting a betrayal so soon, Captain.” she said softly, but he could see anxiety on her face, her stare locked on what he was holding. “But don’t think that you can get away with this. You may have my heart in your hand, but I have control over all these men and I can’t wait for the moment when I watch them kill you.”_

_He made to clench his fist, her words infuriating him, but the slightest tightening of his grip sent a spasm through Cora. He loosened his hold on the heart, watching, aghast, as the Queen stumbled, her hand pressed against her chest. He didn’t want to see someone die that way, especially at his hand, even if it was a woman intent on killing him. “Can you do that? I have your heart in my hand. I control it.”_

_“It’s not that simple.” she hissed, fury gleaming in her eyes. “I still won’t do something purely because you will it.”_

_He frowned, unsure what to do with the new information, but then simply shrugged, his apparent disregard for the news surprising the Queen. “That may be true, but whether I’m controlling you or not, I’m not allowing you to take it back.” he said slowly, glancing around to see if there was a passageway he could run into. “I may be adverse to destroying a heart, Cora, but I am well-versed in stealing them.”_

_Ignoring her furious roar, he turned on his heels and fled._

~~~*~~~

Killian followed Emma through the forest, the Woodsman’s Palace looming over them once they got closer.  Now that they were nearer, he could see the ornate carvings decorating the buildings timber roofs, the scale of the building impressive, especially considering how desolate the rest of the Vinkus had been.

Unfortunately, the presence of the palace meant that it was impossible to stop thinking that with each step they were moving closer and closer to Baelfire, and as much as they had discussed it before, they still had not come up with any plans for convincing the man to return with them to the Enchanted Forest. Ideally, Killian would have preferred to rescue Jefferson before meeting Baelfire, but even if Baelfire had not been needed, a stop at the palace would have been. For all they knew, the Palace was the only building they would encounter before reaching Kiamo Ko, and so it was necessary for them to try and rest there.

When they reached the clearing that housed the building, Emma drew to a halt and gazed up at the palace, a fearful expression written on her face. “I still don’t know what we’re going to do. What’s going to happen.” she whispered, her voice cracking mid-sentence. “What if he refuses? What if he doesn’t care enough to help?”

“If that happens, then we’ll come up with something. Don’t worry.” He told her, his thumb stroking the back of her hand. “In fact, I may have something. We don’t need to even mention bringing him back to his father.”

“What? Invite him on a walk and hope he just jumps into the portal without realising?” she questioned, the corners of her mouth quirking into a smile, and Killian beamed at her, a chuckle escaping him. “I don’t think you’ve thought that plan through.”

“Come on, love, have a bit more faith in me.” he teased. “Think about it. No matter what we tell him, a journey to Kiamo Ko is our next step. Stopping at the Woodsman’s Palace makes perfect sense if that’s our destination. All he needs to know is a mutual friend is in the witch’s hands.”

“So we’re going to pretend that running into Baelfire is a coincidence?” she said, brows furrowing. “That’s going to be hard to sell when I’ve given him his heart back. And all the explanations for how the two of us even have a mutual friend. It’s not like we’re a couple of people you would expect to be acquainted.”

“A pirate and a princess? Have you never heard those love stories?” he joked, looping his hook around her belt and tugging her close. She sighed, rolled her eyes, and then rested her hands against his chest, a soft smile dancing across her face. “I think the bigger question is why are we in Oz. Although, I suppose that could be answered should we tell him that Jefferson was taken from the Enchanted Forest and we simply followed him here.”

“I don’t see how this ends with him travelling back with us.”

“We ask for his help. He may not have his heart, but with your history, I’d assume we can get him to agree.” he said slowly, frowning when Emma looked down, her smile fading. “We can figure out what to tell him about his father and having to go back to the Enchanted Forest later. This plan, it simply buys us time.”

“Time would be nice.” Emma admitted. “I’m not so sure I like all the lies though.”

“I’d rather not lie to Baelfire either. I doubt that’s conducive to making up for past mistakes. I simply can’t see another option, not yet. And as for his heart, I know you don’t fancy this idea but I still believe keeping it in our possession may be preferable to giving it back immediately. Even if we don’t need to control him, his heart will make his fear of his father so much stronger.”

He watched as Emma reached down, her hand hovering over the small bag that held Baelfire’s heart, her indecision clear on her face. “Does not having a heart really change someone that much?”

“They’re the same person. It’s just, they don’t feel as strongly. They can’t. It doesn’t change who they are, not unless they’re ordered to act a certain way.” He attempted to explain, but even with his own experience, he barely knew enough to help Emma understand what being heartless was like. “I love you, and that’s the strongest feeling I’ve ever felt, but without my heart, it wasn’t there. There was some stirrings, and I knew I had felt for you before, I remembered that, but I couldn’t love you then.”

Emma swallowed, looking away from him to stare at the wooden building that housed Baelfire. With a sigh, she stepped away, and Killian frowned, confused, at the distance she was putting between them. “Killian?” she murmured, fists at her sides. “I know what you’re saying, and maybe you’re right. As long as we keep his heart safe, I suppose we can wait until he’s back with his father to return it. Still, I was just thinking that it might be better, until we know how much he is feeling, to keep this, the fact that we love each other, to ourselves. What’s one more lie?”

It took Killian a moment to react, the words ‘we love each other’ repeating over and over again in his mind. Finally managing to focus on the rest of what she had said, he grimaced. Killian wasn’t a fan of the idea. He liked their casual affectations and brief kisses far too much, but if that was what Emma wanted, for now, he could do it. “If that’s what you think is best.” he agreed, and then raised an eyebrow flirtatiously, sending her a wide grin. The minute Emma saw his expression, she responded, a small matching smile on her face. “But how about one more kiss, before we have to start being all secretive?”

"Definitely.” she muttered, pulling him into a deep kiss, a spark charged through them as their lips met and for that moment they forgot about the rest of the world around them, leaving only each other. The two of them were out of breath when they finally parted and they couldn’t guess how much time they had spent in each others embrace. Killian closed his eyes, taking a moment to absorb how it felt to have Emma wrapped around him, one hand buried in his hair, the other one holding his hand, forehead pressed against his.

“I didn’t think I would ever have anything like this. I thought I had had love before, but what we have is more than I could have dreamed.” he muttered, taking the opportunity to tell her what he had wanted to say before, when they were resting in the forest. “When I saw you, Emma, everything changed.”  

She didn’t say anything, her eyes wide and blinking, and it was Killian who moved first, releasing from his arms and stepping up towards the massive doors. He glanced back at Emma, her entire body tense, and raised his hand to take hold of the tin doorknocker, a metal heart that was a cruel mockery of what had led to Baelfire’s life in the castle.

Then he knocked.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks for the kudos and comments! And a big thanks to Hawkeye733, who has to listen to all my complaints as I attempt to write!

#  **Chapter 9**

It took a few minutes for the door to start creaking open, and although Killian wasn’t looking at her, Emma’s nervousness was almost tangible. Once the crack between the doors was wide enough, Killian could see a man waiting for them. He had short dark hair and what appeared to be a permanent tan from the harsh light of the Vinkus, appearing as old as Killian, if not older. However, as different as he looked now, his brown eyes were familiar enough for Killian to realise that it was Baelfire standing before him.

“Hook.” Baelfire stated, his voice surprisingly hard, his eyebrows furrowed in what appeared to be confusion. “What are you doing here?”

His lack of reaction, although expected, made Killian grimace. He would have preferred Baelfire to be angry at him, as Killian thought he deserved, instead of the reminder that his heart was no longer in his chest.

Killian made to speak, but Baelfire’s attention was drawn away from him. Killian glanced over his shoulder, Emma now standing next to him. For a moment, he considered if maybe the distance between them was too large, as if it was obvious that they were trying to stay away from one another, but Baelfire didn’t seem to notice, his focus purely on Emma.

“Hello, Baelfire.” she said, her voice wavering. “This is a surprise.”

“It is. Are you two here together or is that another surprise?”

Emma swallowed, turning to Killian, clearly wanting him to do most of the talking. “A coincidence.” he stated, shrugging. “It turns out the two of us have a mutual friend, and this friend managed to get himself imprisoned in Kiamo Ko. We believed it would be safer to travel together, seeing as we both want to help him get free.”

“And you’re here because everyone who travels to Kiamo Ko rests here, as I’m the only inhabitant for miles.” Baelfire acknowledged, accepting the explanation without any further questions. “Sometimes I feel like I run an inn. A very unpopular inn.”

“So can we come in?”

Baelfire snorted, turning an angry gaze back to the pirate. “Why should I help you?”

“You shouldn’t. But you should help Emma.” Killian insisted, a smug grin crossing his face when Baelfire sighed and stepped aside. The couple stepped through the doorway into the small timber entrance hall,  waiting for Baelfire to walk ahead of them. Once Baelfire had left the room, Killian caught Emma’s elbow. “Emma? Are you okay?”

She stared up at him, her eyes wide and then she shook her head. “I know he’s not going to be the same. I mean, even if he had a heart, it’s been ten years, but he’s acting as if we’re just old friends who happened to have run into each other. I don’t know how to respond to that. I mean, he left me.”

Before Killian could say anything to comfort her, Baelfire stepped back into the hall. “Are you two coming?”

Emma grimaced before following Baelfire through another door into a surprisingly comfy lounge. Killian waited for Emma to sit down in the single chair before reclining in the two-seater sofa, leaving Baelfire no choice but to sit beside him. The instant he sat down, the lethargy he had been fighting since Emma had found him won, and his head fell back against the seat.

“Do you mind if I nap?” Killian asked Baelfire, turning to Emma to check her response. He didn’t care about Baelfire’s answer, but he would only sleep if Emma felt comfortable enough to converse with Baelfire without much of a contribution from him.

Emma wrung her hands together, bit her lip and then shook her head slightly, the movement only obvious because he was looking for it. Although Emma had indicated that it was alright for him to sleep, she was nervous, and those thoughts kept him aware even once he closed his eyes and attempted to relax into the seat.

There was an awkward silence that permeated the room for several minutes, the atmosphere uneasy. Perhaps Baelfire was waiting to see if Killian truly was asleep, as it was only when the pirate’s breathing slowed, that Baelfire spoke.

“Emma?” There was more emotion in his voice this time, more than Killian would have expected possible. The other man sounded nervous, his words trembling slightly. “I suppose I should apologise. For everything.” Emma didn’t respond, and Killian considered opening his eyes to look at her and make sure she was okay with Baelfire’s apparent need to discuss their past. “I don’t know if you know why I left. I mean, you clearly know Hook now, so perhaps you have some idea. But, I didn’t leave because of you. It was never you.”

Emma’s breathing sped up, and Killian heard her stand, footsteps moving towards him, and then he felt a weight on the sofa. She had sat between him and Baelfire, her fingertips brushing Killian’s thigh. “You could have told me. If you had to leave, you could have said. Maybe you didn’t leave because of me, but you shouldn’t have left me to wake up alone. You knew your father had escaped. I told you when you arrived, and you still stayed. You told me you loved me, and you knew you were leaving.” Her voice was shaking but she sounded determined, and Killian realised she needed to say this. Emma had to let Baelfire know everything.

Killian still wanted to sleep, unsure if Emma wanted him listening or if she too had waited for privacy. This confrontation with Baelfire could be something she wanted to do without an audience, but then Emma’s hand moved so her finger could brush against his, curling around one of his fingers, and he realized that she wanted him to stay.

“I’m not that person anymore.” Baelfire said quietly. “I know it was a long time ago, but I remember being happy. You made me happy, and before I met you, I hadn’t been happy in a long time. I want to make it up to you. Seeing you, here, I think it might be the first time I’ve felt something in ages.”

“Don’t bother saying all those things.” Emma said, and she sounded more confident than she had since revealing that it was Baelfire they would be meeting. “If you want to make it up, if that’s actually what you want, help me get my friend back.”

“I can do that.” Baelfire stated. It was followed by another silence, Emma sliding along the seat so she was even closer to Killian than she had been before. Killian opened his eyes, just enough to see why she had moved, seeing that Baelfire had stretched his hand out towards her. “It’s good to see you, Emma. You know, I think you’re the only person I’ve seen in years that’s made me feel anything. Anything good anyway.” Another pause. “Remember how we would talk about fate? Meeting in Oz can’t be a coincidence.”

“No. It’s not fate.” Emma said sternly, and Killian watched Baelfire finally pull his hand away, the limb falling awkwardly to his side. “What happened between us, Baelfire, is in the past and that’s where it is going to stay. Your help would be appreciated, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that it will actually fix things. Because it won’t. I’m not going to pretend that it will. And now, Hook and I are going to go to bed. We’ve been walking for days and it would be nice to have a proper rest.”

The instant she finished speaking, she turned to shake Killian awake. He let her jostle him for a few minutes, pretending that he had truly been asleep, and then opened his eyes and yawned. Baelfire frowned at the two of them, appearing taken aback by the way Emma stood up and tugged Killian up to stand beside her. “Yeah, right, of course. I’ll show you to the bedrooms.”

Baelfire led the two of them up an ornate set of wooden stairs to a hallway lined with doors, the first room a large bedroom, filled only with a wide bed. This room was given to Emma, Baelfire waiting for her to go into the room and close the door before leading Killian further along the hallway.

The room Killian was given was small and dark, barely any room between the walls and the bed. Killian chuckled, amused by Baelfire’s passive attempts to irritate him. “We’ll go tomorrow.” Baelfire said suddenly. “Not for you. I’m helping for Emma. I owe her that much.”

“You do.”

~~~*~~~

Killian couldn’t get comfortable. Although the bed was large enough for him to spread out on, the way he was used to sleeping in his own bed back on the ship, the cotton sheets irritating his sunburnt skin, the room just slightly too cold to sleep without any cover. However, he was tired enough to drift off even without any semblance of comfort.

He was woken what felt like only minutes later by a quiet knock on the door. He groaned, wishing he wasn’t awake, especially when the room remained resolutely silent for the few minutes after he awoke. He sighed, rubbing his eyes with one hand, frustrated with the apparently imaginary sound that had roused him.

He heard it again, a sense of relief washing through him when he realised that he wasn’t so feverish from his trip through the desert that he was hallucinating, and he murmured a noise in acknowledgement. He refused to get out of bed, even when he saw Emma standing in the doorway, a thick dressing gown swamping her figure.

“Killian?” she whispered, crossing over to sit on the bed before he could gesture for her to come over. “I know I told you that this thing with the two of us probably isn’t a good idea to let Baelfire know about, and that’s not even been a day, but, I didn’t want to be alone. Not tonight. Can I sleep here too?”

“Yes.”

She smiled drowsily at him, his own exhaustion appearing to amuse her slightly, and then undid the tie of the dressing gown, dropping it to the floor. Killian stared at her, the sight of her in his shirt something he hadn’t expected, and hadn’t seen in weeks. He swallowed and then stretched his arm out in invitation, sighing when she slid into the bed beside him and curled up against him, legs tangling with his and her hand resting on his bare chest, the contact with his reddened skin sending small shocks of pain through him. He winced away from the touch, but when Emma made to move away, he clasped her hand with his and held it in place.

“Don’t.” he mumbled, preferring Emma’s close proximity despite the irritation to his skin. Emma listened and cuddled even closer, strands of her hair splayed across his chest. “Are you alright? I heard what you said to Bae.”

“I actually think I am. I needed to say all that to him just once. It hurt before, but it doesn’t so much now that I have you.”

He really did love it when she said things like that. Once she had fully relaxed and he felt her nestle against him, he found the peace that had eluded him before, and it was with a happy sigh that he turned his head to press a kiss to her forehead. “Love you.”

Killian closed his eyes again, exhaling shakily when he felt Emma’s breath near his ear, a soft hum escaping her in reply to his sleepy declaration. He still didn’t feel entirely awake, not even when Emma kissed a spot right below his ear, something that made him shudder slightly and pull her closer towards him.

“Killian?” she whispered, and although he couldn’t see her face, he could hear the smile in her face, and he tilted his head towards her to show he was listening. “We’re in love.”

Emma sounded so surprised and so happy, despite everything that day, that he couldn’t help but open his eyes to gaze at her. He could see her smile even through the darkness, a smile he’d never seen her wear before but one that, impossibly, was even more beautiful than usual, something he hadn’t thought possible. “That we are.” he murmured back, his words slurring slightly. “And I wish I were more awake right now, my love, but I think the lack of sleep is finally getting to me.”

She actually pouted, and then, with a quick, mischievous grin and a sudden movement, her knees were either side of his hips and she was kissing a line down his neck, one hand holding his and the other travelling down his torso.

Emma was everywhere, surrounding him, meeting his desperate lips for long, messy kisses, worrying his earlobe with her teeth, hand sliding lower and lower as she ground down into him. Matching wrecked groans escaped the two of them, Killian lazily raising his brace-free arm to slip under the edge of her shirt and rest it against the base of her back.

Dreams seemed far less tempting than Emma's current ministrations, and despite being too exhausted to wrap her in his arms and roll her over so that he could start trailing kisses of his own down her body, he responded as eagerly as his fatigue allowed.

"Emma?" He breathed, Emma whimpering in response. "I can't - not today - I need to sleep. Besides, I thought you wanted to save the cavorting until later."

"I suppose any taxing activities might not be a good idea." She said, bending to trail more kisses, this time from his jaw, down his chest, stopping just an inch from the waistband of his trousers. "But this may be the last night we can be alone in a very long time, Killian. I don't want to just sleep through it."

She was speaking into his skin, each syllable burning into him, and he rocked up into her, another broken moan falling from his mouth. This was something he hadn't expected when Emma had invited herself into his bed, but with Emma moving over him, exploring him with her soft lips, he felt more alive than he had in hundreds of years.

He released her hand so he could tangle his fingers through her hair and pull her back up to him, taking a moment just to stare up at her. He wished the moonlight was brighter so he could see her in its glow, but her silhouette was glorious too, and he slowly raised himself up meet her lips again, tongue tracing her bottom lip before slipping through the seam of her lips to tangle with hers.

"So maybe...maybe we shouldn't... ." She panted, pulling back so she was sitting up and gazing down at him, one hand back to resting on his chest and the other one returning to intertwine with his. "Shouldn't do this right now."

Killian grunted in agreement, the sound torn with indecision, and when he peered through the blackness to her, he could make out the suggestive expression on her face. She licked her lips and then, ignoring the hitch in his breath, she took their clasped hands and skimmed them up her body, releasing his hand just as his knuckles brushed the underside of her breast, a breathless giggle escaping her.

"So what are we doing instead? I’m rather certain this could be called cavorting." He questioned, his hand rising the last few millimetres to cup her breast. Emma exhaled loudly, the noise relieved, arching her back slightly to press further into his hand.

"I thought," she said, her voice a quiet, seductive whisper. "That just because we can’t be intimate today, it doesn't mean you can't _touch_ me."

Killian stopped thinking completely for a brief moment, her words shuddering through him like a spark of magic, and then he surged upwards to crash his mouth onto hers, pulling away only to say a few final words. “I think I like that plan.”

~~~*~~~

Baelfire greeted them the following morning with some toast and jam, a map spread out on the table in front of them, and as much as Killian was trying to not to, he couldn’t stop himself from glancing over at Emma. More often than not, she was looking at him as well, and if he hadn’t been distracted by the memories of the previous night, he might have tried to keep their interest in one another less obvious.

They hadn’t made love the night before, both of them wanting to be somewhere nicer and more meaningful than a small guest room in Baelfire’s palace when it finally happened. Although he had believed himself to be too tired, Emma’s words had rejuvenated him. He had caressed and kissed every inch of her body, had felt Emma writhing underneath him when he had brought her over the edge. Emma had been equally devoted to making him come undone, the two of them muffling their moans with needy kisses, sleeping easily in a shared bliss that refused to fade away, even after Emma had left his bed in the early morning.

“Did you sleep well?” Baelfire asked awkwardly, paying more attention to the map than he was to anyone else.

Killian smiled softly, looking past Baelfire to meet Emma’s gaze once again. “Yes, my night was rather pleasant.”

“Pleasant?” Emma repeated, and Killian’s grin widened when he looked over to see how taken-aback she looked. “Just pleasant?”

“Spectacular, in fact.” he corrected, suppressing a chuckle when he saw a smug expression on Emma’s face. “You?”

“I haven’t exactly slept in a bed like that in over ten years, and it was far better than I could have imagined.” Emma said slowly, sounding as if she was choosing every word very carefully. “I slept amazingly.”

Killian bit his lip to try and hide his own satisfied grin. It seemed as though they had said a bit too much, Baelfire turning around to send them a confused stare. “Amazing?” he repeated, glancing between the two of them. “Spectacular? I know those beds, they’re not that nice.”

“I’ve only spent one other night in a bed during the past few weeks, Baelfire,” Killian attempted to explain, Emma’s panicked look leading him to try and dissuade Baelfire from any suspicions they had already given him. “Any bed would have been marvelous.”

Baelfire still seemed confused, but excused himself to fetch some weapons, warning them that they would likely be needed on their journey. Killian exhaled once the other man had left the room. “We’re rather terrible at this secrecy thing.”

“Any bed?” Emma asked, arms crossed and eyebrow raised. “Any bed would have been marvelous?”

“I assure you, Swan, that last time, I really was talking about the bed.”  He murmured earnestly, reaching out to brush some hair away from her face, taking the opportunity to touch her before Baelfire returned to the room, his hand dropping awkwardly to his side when he heard footsteps approaching.

Baelfire returned with a sword in each hand and one strapped to his waist. He tossed one over to Killian, who scrambled to catch it, and then strode past to hand the remaining one over to Emma. She took it by the hilt, sending an anxious look to Killian when Baelfire started to correct her hold on the sword, the way Killian had done for Baelfire all those years ago.

“I know how to hold a sword, Baelfire.” Emma bit out, pulling away from Baelfire and moving to stand by the map. “Now how long is it going to take to get there? And is the trip going to be better or worse than the desert crossing?”

“A few days. And the trip will be better.”

Emma asked a few more questions before deciding it was time to start their trek. Baelfire was carrying food for the journey, and Killian insisted on holding the few supplies that he and Emma had left, namely the swan-feather cloak, his leather cloak and vest and a few broken stale biscuits.

Once he had the bag slung over his shoulder, Emma crossed over to stand before him. She ignored his questioning look, reaching out to do up a few of his buttons. Killian gazed at her, incredulous, and it was only then that she seemed to realise that helping him dress wasn’t the most subtle thing she could do.

“Uh, only Hook would refuse to button his shirt up even when his chest is all sunburnt.” she said loudly, ignoring Killian’s chuckle when Baelfire turned to face them. He had clearly not been paying attention until Emma’s loud attempt to reason out why she had been so close to Killian.

“It doesn’t surprise me that the pirate leaves it for you to make sure he’s got all of his buttons done up.” Baelfire muttered spitefully, ignoring Killian’s wince. “Now can we go?”

They left almost immediately after his comment, the three of them walking through the forest in an awkward silence, Baelfire taking a permanent position at Emma’s side. The other man didn’t seem particularly interested in speaking to Emma, not after her words the night before, but even without a heart, he seemed to dislike Killian enough that the pirate felt it best to keep away from him.

It wasn’t going to be a particularly difficult trip, not if they stuck to the path. The road travelled directly from the Emerald City to the witches palace, but despite the apparent ease of the journey, Baelfire seemed warier the further they travelled into the grey forest.

It was after a few hours that Emma finally had to break, turning a curious stare to Baelfire. “Why are you in Oz?”

“What?” Baelfire clearly hadn’t expected Emma to speak to him, shrugging in response. “I just am. I guess I’m here to watch over all the things Zelena can’t keep in her two palaces.”

Emma sighed, exasperated.“That explains what you were doing in the palace, not in Oz. How did you even get here? Travel between realms isn’t easy. I’ve learnt that.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Just answer the question, mate.” Killian advised, grinning at Baelfire when the other man turned to glower at him.

“I’m not your mate.” Baelfire sneered. “And people keep telling me that travelling between realms is hard, but I’ve done it so many times that I can’t believe that. Or maybe I’m just good at doing it. I’ve been to a land without magic, you know. Well, a land that’s supposed to be without magic. That’s another thing I couldn’t believe. It’s not without magic, it just wasn’t common there.”

Emma was listening intently, her gaze locked on Baelfire, and Killian had to admit that he too was intrigued by what Baelfire was telling them. He had only heard of two ways to travel between realms, both of which he had used, and he knew that such methods were difficult to come by. He imagined that realm-travelling would be even harder from a land where magic was not commonplace.

“I left that realm for awhile but I returned. That’s where I grew up. And then, once again, someone took me away from it. Zelena. She appeared, grabbed me, clicked her heels together three times and left me back in the Enchanted Forest. She told me she wanted me where she could easily get a hold of me, never explained it, and then vanished. That was when I met you, well, around then anyway. And then, when I ran away, she found me again. As if she’d been watching me, or knew what I’d do if my papa escaped. She said she could take me somewhere Papa could never find me and I took her up on that. Then she took me here and then she took…” His voice faded away, clearly not wanting to admit to them that his heart had been taken by the witch. “I’ve been here ever since.”

“She can travel between realms at will?” Killian asked, having believed that was something only Jefferson could do. “How? Some sort of magical object?”

“Shoes. She has magical shoes.” Baelfire answered shortly. “Women, right?”

“I’d get some magical shoes if they gave me such power.” Killian joked, shrugging. “I wouldn’t say that’s something only a woman would do. Although, I do have to wonder why it’s items of clothing that tend to help with traversing the realms.”

“What?”

~~~*~~~

It was after a full day of travel, the night spent wishing that he could take Emma in his arms and have her curl into him the way she always did, before Baelfire finally decided to question them on their 'mutual friend'. Luckily, he seemed uninterested in whatever circumstances would have led to Emma and Killian travelling together, focussing more on what had led to Jefferson’s imprisonment.

“Why would Zelena want your friend?” Baelfire asked, directing the question to Emma. Emma shrugged, glancing to Killian with the obvious hope that he would speak up.

“She wanted an ingredient. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Killian said, a disgusted grimace spreading across his face, similar looks on the faces of the others. “There’s a spell, for time-travel. From what I gathered, it requires a heart, a brain and some courage. I figure that she’s taken our friend for one of those and she’s keeping him until she needs him.”

“Why would she want to time-travel anyway? Those ingredients don’t exactly make it sound like it’s good magic to be messing with.” Baelfire asked, his lip curling at the thought. “I know that the worse the ingredients, the worse the spell. That one sounds bad.”

“It’s rather pathetic, actually, but she has a petty grudge against the Evil Queen.” Killian summarised, preferring not to get too involved with reciting the whole story, especially as he himself had very limited knowledge on the entire affair. “If Regina ever succeeds with her mission to destroy Snow White, the Wicked Witch will go back in time and make sure it never happens, although it’s nowhere near as good intentioned as I made it sound. I believe the witch is happy unless her sister becomes happier than her.”

The instant he finished his explanation, Emma came to a halt in front of him. Baelfire took a few steps more before he realised that Emma was no longer beside him, and turned around to face her. “What’s wrong?”

“I just need a break.” Emma stammered, turning a wide-eyed gaze to Killian, who took a few steps towards her. “We’ve been walking for hours.”

Baelfire frowned, Emma’s previous insistences that they take as few breaks as possible clearly on his mind, and just as he opened his mouth to speak, Killian crossed the last few feet to stand beside her. As if it was instinctive, Emma placed her hand on his arm, drawing his attention down to her. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing. It’s just, look, Baelfire, seeing you again… it’s overwhelming.” Emma admitted, her voice cracking. Baelfire frowned slightly, but didn’t try to step closer or comfort her, his gaze locked on Emma’s hand resting on Killian’s arm. “I just need a moment to myself.”

She hurried away, a final, pleading look at Killian, the trees hiding her from their view. Baelfire peered after her, and then sighed. “I suppose I should go after her. There are flying monkeys in these woods. It’s not a good plan to be alone.”

“It would have been nice to know that earlier, mate.” Killian stated, feeling a mixture of anxiety at the other man’s announcement and relief that he had been given a reason to follow her. “However, seeing as she said she needed space from you, it would perhaps be advisable that I go to her instead. If flying monkeys are such a danger, I promise the two of us will be back as soon as Emma feels ready.”

Baelfire just nodded, his expression blank. “That might be a better idea.” he said, his hand resting on the pommel of his sword. “Just remember. I know what you did to my mother.”

It was said matter-of-factly, no spite in his voice, but the words hurt Killian more than he would have expected. If anything, the fact that Baelfire remained so angry after so many years, even without a heart, felt like he had just reopened a long forgotten wound.

“I remember perfectly well.” Killian replied, spinning on his heel to head after Emma. He wanted to fix things with Baelfire, he truly did, but he couldn’t see how to do it.

When Baelfire was no longer visible through the trees, Killian spotted Emma, leaning against a tree with her arms folded and her eyes closed. He crossed the remaining distance between them, her eyes opening when he placed his hands on her hips. “Apparently there are flying monkeys at large.” he mentioned casually, shrugging when Emma frowned at him. “Being alone isn’t recommended.”

“That would have been nice to know earlier.” she commented, tilting her head upwards to brush her lips against his jaw, beaming when he sighed and inched closer. “I had expected you to catch up with me a bit sooner.”

“Look, Emma, you’re the one who thinks its best to try and keep this from Baelfire. I’m happy to do whatever you wish, but that means coming up with a reason for running after you.” he explained. “Now, how about you? Are you alright? Too overwhelmed?”

Emma glanced down, biting her lip and then running her hands up his chest to wrap around his neck, pulling him into a tight embrace. “It’s not Baelfire. I’m not feeling great about seeing him, but it’s not overwhelming. I’ve moved on and he can’t feel enough to care and that makes things so much easier. I didn’t think it would, but it does.”

“Something’s bothering you.” Killian insisted, gazing down at the woman in his arms. “What is it, Emma?”

“This time-travelling stuff. It bothers me.” She admitted, one hand toying with the hair at the nape of his neck. “You said the witch would only try such a spell if Regina wins and, you know, if that happens, maybe things would be better if they were done again.”

“I highly doubt Zelena would be satisfied with simply removing her sister from existence.”   

“It’s just that even if Regina wins, I don’t know if I would want anything to be any different. In this time, I have Henry. I have you. In another, there’s no guarantee of meeting you, or of having Henry. Maybe I wouldn’t know what it was, but I would be missing something. I can’t lose you, Killian.”

Killian swallowed, the scenario she was describing not having occurred to him. He had never even considered the possibility of the spell actually being cast. Although he wouldn’t say it out loud, knowing he might only make Emma’s fears worse, he knew that should Zelena change the past, it was he who would be damned. He hated the thought, but Emma’s existence was not guaranteed in Zelena’s rewritten past, and it would be him that would have lost something he would never realise was gone. “You won’t lose me. I like to entertain the idea that we would meet no matter what.”  

Emma snorted, and he frowned down at her, amused by her sudden change of mood. “You know what I think about fate, Killian. Although, I am impressed at how you tried to avoid the word.”

“I know. You told me before, didn’t you, that you would rather consider our meeting to be a coincidence?” he asked, his voice lowering to a more intimate tone before he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her neck. “But you have to admit that fate sounds more romantic.”

She shuddered when he kissed her again, her head bowing slightly and her gaze leaving his, the way it often did when she was about to say something that she found difficult. “You heard my conversation with Baelfire. You know why I don’t like the idea of fate. But, I do believe in it now. Not a lot, but the things that had to happen for us to meet, it’s not as if those things happen to everyone. I mean, you lived hundreds of years in Neverland before returning to the Enchanted Forest just in time to meet me. I remembered Henry and got to the docks on the one day you were stopping there. And, yeah, I like the idea that we’re meant to meet. That no matter what Zelena does, we’ll find each other.”

Killian gripped onto her tighter, crashing his mouth down onto hers, his hand sliding under her shirt to rest against her back and draw her closer to him, his hook skimming the length of her thigh before hitching it up to his waist. He groaned when she arched into him, her foot stroking the back of his knee, her hand fisting in his hair and attempting to tug him even closer, the furious kiss stopping only when they heard a rustle somewhere behind them.

“Ah, yes, the monkeys.” Killian panted, dragging himself away from Emma and peering in the direction of the noise. “I suppose we should head back to Baelfire. Keep him safe from the nasty simians.”

“I suppose.” she repeated breathlessly, straightening her clothes and then taking a minute to adjust his shirt as well. She was flustered, and he couldn’t help but feel some slight pride that it was him who had brought her to such a state, a smug grin curving his lips. “I mean, yes, he can’t be left in danger, Killian. We can’t tell the Dark One that instead of bringing his son back, he died in a monkey attack.”

Emma slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow, and he pretended not to notice that she kept hold of him until the last possible moment when Baelfire came back into view and they turned to start walking along the path again.

  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter - there's a bit more action than usual! Thanks for the kudos and comments - and, as always, huge thanks to Hawkeye733 for betaing!

#  **Chapter 10**

Lunch the following day was spent in an awkward silence, the three of them eating sandwiches made with slightly stale bread and cheese that Baelfire had scrounged from his kitchen before they left the palace. Things between the group had been uncomfortable since Emma and Killian’s return the day before, not helped by their inability to stay away from one another.

There were only so many times that one could leave and call out for the other, pretending to be under attack from an, as-yet unseen, flying monkey. The fact that they tended to return with swollen lips and mussed clothes was sure to have aroused any suspicions that Baelfire hadn’t already been harbouring.

Baelfire had taken a seat between the two of them, pointedly keeping them apart. When the silence grew too unsettling, Killian prepared to speak, but Baelfire cleared his throat and spoke before he could. “We’ll get to Kiamo Ko by tomorrow morning. That is if we don’t get attacked by flying monkeys as regularly as we have been so far today.”

“It would be good to get there as soon as possible.” Emma admitted, sharing a guilty look with Killian. “I’m sure the monkeys can stay away from us for one day.”

“Let’s hope.” Killian agreed, Baelfire’s glum expression sending a faint twinge of regret through him.

As much as Killian and Emma had intended to keep their relationship quiet, Killian thought it was probably worse for them to be so obvious about their entanglement and yet refuse to admit to Baelfire exactly what was going on. Baelfire’s continued silence on the matter had convinced Killian that the other man was waiting for their confession, and yet the thought of telling him the truth terrified the pirate. Baelfire already held a grudge towards him for his relationship with Milah, and he imagined announcing the strength of his feelings for Emma would be the just the thing to ruin any chance of reconciliation between the two men.

“I doubt it.” Baelfire sounded bitter, biting angrily into his sandwich as he shot angry glares at the two of them. “It’s not as if the flying monkeys have the capacity to care about the feelings of others. They remind me of another man I’ve met, in that way. They don’t exactly consider the consequences of their actions. They’re selfish like that.”

Killian swallowed, the thinly veiled malice clearly directed at him. Emma’s stare had hardened, a furious gaze directed at Baelfire. “That’s enough.”

“No, Emma, it’s fine.” Killian interjected, finding Baelfire’s spite tiring but understandable. “I’ll just go and eat elsewhere. Let me know when you’re ready to keep moving.”

“No, wait!” Emma called, but Killian was already standing up. He wanted to stay, reluctant to leave Emma and Baelfire alone. However, the man’s attitude was infuriating, and as hard as he tried to understand it, Baelfire’s insistence on blaming him for something he already struggled with was something he needed to escape from.

He didn’t go far away, needing to be within reach should flying monkeys actually attack, but it was surprisingly relaxing to be alone. A relieved sigh escaped him as he rested back against a tree, facing away from the clearing.

It wasn’t long until he heard someone approach, but he didn’t bother to turn around. He doubted Baelfire had followed him, and Emma’s presence was not something he would complain about. His suspicions were confirmed when she sat beside him, shoulder brushing against his.

She remained silent for a few seconds, and he could feel her stare on him. “Did you want to be alone?”

“I can be alone with you.” Killian murmured, smiling softly when he felt Emma take his hand in hers, fingers interlacing the way they always did. “Did you tell Baelfire you were following me?”

“I didn’t think it was necessary.” she admitted, confirmation that she too had realized Baelfire was bound to know about them. “But I may have used the flying monkey excuse anyway. What he said to you, it wasn’t fine. It was cruel.”

“I don’t know.” Emma shook her head, taking their linked hands and moving his arm so that it was wrapped around her, her head resting against his shoulder. “Telling him you have to rescue me from a flying monkey was pretty mean too.”

“I’m sorry.” Killian glanced down at her, confused about her sudden apology, noticing the way her eyes were closed and she was relaxing in to him. He supposed he should be used to this by now, but every time he saw Emma feeling so comfortable with him, he couldn’t stop the awe that filled him, amazed that she could feel such a way despite knowing the terrible things he had done. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise how hard seeing Baelfire would be for you. I was so focussed on me and my own worries but you two have a history as well. And not a particularly pleasant one. Are you alright?”

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

Her eyes opened, lips curving into a soft smile, her expression radiant. “I might have an idea.” she murmured, twisting her head to kiss his shoulder. “But, that wasn’t what I asked. Seriously, are you okay?”

“I will be.” Killian admitted, his hold on her tightening as she curled towards him. “I know it must hurt him that his mother left, but it was her own choice. I didn’t steal her away from anyone. She chose me. It was his own father that killed her and Baelfire knows that. Whether or not he believes it, that’s another question. I’d remind him, if I wasn’t worried that such a discussion would lessen our chances of returning him to his father. I don’t want to risk anything that might make it harder for you to be with your son.”

“You should talk to him.” Emma stated, nodding firmly as if she had already decided the best course of action for them to take. “He needs to realize the truth and stop taking his anger over it out on you. I love that you’re holding back because of Henry, but maybe it’s best to tell him now, when he doesn’t even have a heart.”

“I don’t know.” Killian said, a dark realisation dawning on him, another thought he had attempted to ignore since they had reunited with Baelfire. “I believed that having no heart removed your emotions, muted them, but Baelfire seems to feel plenty without his.”

“I don’t understand heart magic,” Emma admitted, sliding her hand to rest against his chest, his beating under her hand. “But maybe, you felt more with your heart than Baelfire ever did. When you lost your heart, you lost more of what makes you than Baelfire did.”

“I have no idea how correct that theory is,” Killian started, her words sending warmth through him and helping to banish all the thoughts he had feared. Maybe she was wrong, maybe Baelfire simply loved her more than Killian ever could, but he knew how strong his own feelings were for the woman resting against him, and he couldn’t imagine anyone loving her more. “But thank you for considering it.”

“I’m very happy I got your heart back, you know?” she mumbled into his shoulder, the warmth of her palm against his chest burning him. He glanced down at her, the pressure of her hand increasing as she pushed against his chest, as if she wanted to feel every beat of his heart.

He grinned, reaching to lift her chin with his hook, angling her head towards his so he could bend to give her a quick kiss. “I am too, Swan.”

She sighed, lips curved into a small, fond smile. “Well, that’s good. Now, as for Baelfire, it’s up to you. Whenever you decide to tell him, if it’s now or when we’ve returned his heart or never, I support you. I think he needs to hear the truth, but of course it’s up to you to decide.”

~~~*~~~

Attempts at civilised conversation had been made throughout the rest of the day, the three of them dancing clumsily around topics that were likely to cause any annoyances. By sunset, the sky was streaked orange and green, and the lights of the witch’s palace could be seen flickering in the distance, the towering building built more like a fort than a true palace.

The path had long since vanished, only vague remnants of an old road remaining. Baelfire had explained that, given the lack of people ever visiting the palace, maintenance of the roads had been abandoned. However, it seemed that, with the palace visible on the horizon, reaching it wouldn’t be too difficult.

It was only when Baelfire came to stop, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword, that the few hopes of reaching Jefferson without any trouble were finally dashed. There were silhouettes, over a dozen of them, visible in the sky and rapidly getting closer, and Killian didn’t need Baelfire’s warning shout to know what they were.

The flying monkeys they had heard so much about were finally attacking.

“I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised that the witch is aware of our approach.” Killian grumbled, hurrying to Emma’s side, sword held outstretched in his hand.

With a piercing screech, the monkeys dove at them from above, the first couple dispatched easily with a few swings of a sword. Emma struck one, her sword cleaving through its wing and sending it crashing to the floor, a pained cry signalling Baelfire had been just as successful.

There were too many to remain at each other’s side, Emma chasing after one as Killian stood still and hacked a few more that approached, trying desperately not to be distracted by making sure Emma’s fight was going well, that she wasn’t hurt.

Forcing himself to look away, he slashed through the torso of one of the monsters, wincing away when the creatures talon tore into his burnt skin, bubbles of blood escaping from the wound. He twisted, sword piercing through the monsters chest, the monkey exploding into fire the instant the sword impaled it.

A few more monkeys fell, vanishing into puffs of flame with furious howls, and then he heard a yell and a clatter, spinning to see Emma throwing her sword at one monkey, another ripping into her arm. He couldn’t get to her, more monkeys dotting the sky, but the instant she tugged her arm away, he called out to her.

Her attention locked onto him for only a brief second, the monkey scratching at her, and he took that short moment to throw his sword towards her, relieved when she clumsily caught it by the hilt and then swung it towards her attacker. He beamed at her when she cut into the monkey’s head, but before he could see it disappear, he felt something jump at him and push him to the ground, his knees smarting when they crashed against the hard surface.

A grunt of pain escaped him as he struggled to turn over, desperate to fight back against whatever had thrown him so forcefully to the ground, but soon, the weight was lifted away from him and he heard the sound of steel cutting through bone, the noise stopping instantly when he heard the now-familiar sound of a monkey combusting into nothingness.

There was a final clash, Killian managing to see Emma destroy one last monster, and then the, evening fell silent once more, no more haunting screeches of approaching monkeys, and Killian finally managed to push himself up onto his knees, his eyes widening in surprise when he saw Baelfire’s hand held out towards him.

“You’re not too good at watching out for yourself.” Baelfire said dryly, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards in a brief, but present, grin when Killian took his hand and let himself be pulled back up. “Emma can handle herself, you know?”

“I know.” Killian agreed, grinning at the other man. “But I’m allowed to worry, aren’t I?”

“Are you alright?” Emma had run over to the two of them, her question asked the instant she was beside them, her hands running anxiously over Killian’s bleeding chest, his own hand rising to trace a scratch on the apple of her cheek. “Killian, you’re okay, aren’t you?” Killian didn’t even have the time to nod before she turned to Baelfire, stepping away from Killian to pull the other man into a brief, tight hug. “Thank you. Thank you so much for saving him.”

“I’m not going to let someone be turned into one of those things.” Baelfire said, appearing slightly embarrassed by Emma’s display of gratitude and completely ignorant of the shock he had caused with the implications of what he had said, revealing the true danger of what they had just faced. “Besides, I told you I want to make things up to you. Letting Hook die probably isn’t the best way to go about it. I don’t like it, but the two of you aren’t exactly subtle. I’ll let you work out the type of man he really is in your own time.”

“You ruined that somewhat at the end.” Emma commented, but Baelfire’s words seemed to have put her at ease, her hand lacing with Killian’s instinctively. “Just so you know, I do know exactly who Killian is. But thank you. I don’t know what I would have done if I‘d lost him.”

Baelfire grimaced, jaw tensing at Emma’s words, but then gave her a stiff nod and stepped away from the two of them. “You’re welcome. Now, how about a rest? The fight tired me out and even if we stop earlier than planned, we should reach Kiamo Ko by mid-morning.”

“Someone should keep watch.” Killian suggested, but Baelfire had already walked away, resting against a nearby tree and pointedly looking away from the couple. “And I suppose I’d be happy to do just that.”

“We’ll do it together.” Emma said, leading him to another tree and waiting for him to sit against it before kneeling down between his legs, facing him so she could use the edge of her sleeve to dab gently at the scratches across his chest. “If anyone should be resting, it’s you. You’re the one who got hurt.”

“You’re hurt too, sweetheart. Worse than I am.” he muttered, his gaze moving from the scratch on her face to the deep gouges in her arm. “I saw that monkey tear into you. It terrified me.”

“And I saw the one that went for you.” Emma whispered, her free hand rising to brush his hair back from his forehead. “I think neither of us were prepared for that today. I hadn’t thought about losing you, not since I got you back with me.”

Killian simply stared at her, exhaling loudly. He had worried about losing her since realising the depth of his feelings, had pictured her collapsing the way Milah had or imagined her walking away when she saw the real him, but these were thoughts that tended not to worry him when they were together. “You won’t lose me. If I’m not at your side, I will do whatever I can to return to you. If we’re ever apart, you have to know my heart will always be yours.”

Her eyelids fluttered and her lips trembled and she leaned in towards him, her lips capturing his for a short, tender kiss. “Same for me.”

He beamed at her, refusing to allow their words to distract him from the wounds marring Emma’s arms. Without a word, he used his hook to tear a strip from his shirt, wishing that they had enough water to rinse the lacerations before he dressed it.

“Why are you ripping your clothes up?” she asked, her hand drifting down to rest against the skin he had just revealed. “Baelfire’s just over there.”

Killian raised an eyebrow. “What are you implying, Emma?” he teased, pressing the fabric gently against the broken skin and gesturing for Emma to hold it in place. “I assure you, when it comes to that, I won’t be using my hook to tear off _my_ clothes.”

“Again, he’s right there.” Despite her words, her breath had hitched and she had leaned closer, her gaze on his lips, and Killian couldn’t suppress the careless grin that spread across his face at her response. “He may be as okay as he can be about us, but we can still try and make sure this isn’t too much. Like with Jefferson.”

“I know.” He wasn’t really listening, his focus on wrapping the fabric tightly around Emma’s upper arm and securing it in place. “Now, may I tell you how stunning you looked today? How was I ever lucky enough to find a warrior princess like you?”

Emma snorted and rolled her eyes, checking the bandage before turning around so she could rest against his chest, his arms encircling her once she had leant against him. “I don’t know. But I’m glad you did.”

~~~*~~~

As Baelfire had said, the three of them reached the palace when the sun was nearing its highest point in the sky. The final hours of their approach had been spent discussing the plan for when they reached their destination, Baelfire revealing that he had explored the palace multiple times before, refusing to explain to them exactly why he had done such a thing. Although Killian and Emma’s relationship was now out in the open, they were still keeping secrets from one another, Baelfire not mentioning his lack of heart.

Baelfire led them through the palace doors into a deserted, dusty great hall, explaining that the palace was rarely used following Zelena’s ousting of the wizard. They had expected more guards, or more flying monkeys, but it was easy for them to go down the small, dark staircase into the prison. The three of them stood at the end of a thin pathway, edged by small barred cells.

“Jefferson?” Killian called, unable to see the hatter in any of the nearby cells. “You here?”

“I am!”

The reply came from further down the dungeon, and Killian dashed towards the sound, Emma and Baelfire close behind him. He halted when he reached the cell, having never seen Jefferson looking so pitiable as he did in that moment.

The hatter was shackled, the cuffs around his wrists chained to the floor, his head bowed and his frame thinner than it had been before. Purpling bruises marred his face, his lip split, but despite that, he was grinning at the three of them.

“Nice to see you.” he said cheerily, his stare darting from Killian and Emma to Baelfire. “I actually thought it would take you two longer to get here than this. Not that I’m complaining. I haven’t eaten since I last saw you. They are providing me with water though, so it could be worse. And I still have all my body parts.”

Killian chuckled dryly, stepping up to the cell door so he could attempt to jiggle the lock open with the point of his hook, Jefferson leaning his head back against the wall and sighing in exasperation when Killian’s first few attempts failed.

“Let me.” Baelfire nudged the pirate aside, drawing a lockpick out from his pocket and kneeling down for a better vantage point. “I’m pretty good at getting things open.”

Within seconds the lock clicked open. However, before they could step inside and free Jefferson from the chains, there was a puff of green smoke, dissipating to reveal Zelena standing before them and blocking their way to the hatter.

“Did you think I wouldn’t know that you would try to save him?” Zelena hissed, her eyes wide and furious. “That’s what you hero-types do. You do realize that taking him voids our deal, don’t you?”

“I had realised.” Killian stated, arm in front of Emma just in case Zelena attacked. Baelfire was hovering awkwardly, and it was clear to Killian that the other man was uncertain of his part in the conflict. If he still believed Zelena had possession of his heart, it was likely that Baelfire was worried about when he would lose control of the situation and be forced to stand at her side.

Zelena tilted her head, her analytical gaze moving over the three people in front of her, clearly trying to decide who to attack first, which move would hurt the most. With a cruel smirk, her green hand darted out and she yanked Baelfire towards her, hand closing around his neck and squeezing. “I may not be able to crush his heart, but I can still kill him.” she spat, cackling when Emma yelled out. “That doesn’t even break our deal. If you move any closer to my prisoner, or try anything that could stop my plans, I _will_ kill him. And I’ll enjoy it.”

~~~*~~~

_Despite being able to outrun the guards, there were too many for Killian to believe he would be able to escape. All he needed to do was get somewhere far away and figure out how to control the heart. When he knew that, he could simply whisper what he wanted and Cora would do it. An order from her would be the only thing needed to make sure he escaped, and Killian was too good at surviving to consider any other option._

_He navigated his way through the palace, having managed to escape the maze, but he could hear the guards clattering as they gained on him, their knowledge of the hallways an advantage he didn’t have. When he knew the guards were approaching from all directions, he had no choice but to duck inside the nearest doorway, hoping he hadn’t managed to lead himself into an even worse situation._

_Even though he knew he needed to keep moving, Killian halted when he finally saw the room he had entered. It was a large hall, hats towering from various surfaces, the piles leaning precariously and Killian had the strange worry that he would be injured in an avalanche of hats, something he had never before entertained the possibility of._

_A man sat in the centre of the room, looking as surprised as Killian did, clearly shocked by the pirate’s entry, his hand hovering in the air, paused in the middle of sewing what appeared to be yet another hat._

_“Well, this is awkward.” Killian said slowly, glancing cautiously around the hall in case any other hatters were hidden behind bizarrely large piles of headpieces. “Would you mind pretending that I’m not here?”_

_The man's eyes narrowed and he tilted his head, waiting just long enough for the silence to become uncomfortable before he answered. “Are you the cause of the commotion?”_

_“If I say yes, are you more or less likely to assist me?”_

_“More.”_

_“Oh, well, the answer’s yes then.” Killian grinned, the man’s words amusing him. The hatter stopped sewing completely, tying a quick knot into the thread and then placing the incomplete hat jauntily on his head. “This clamour is entirely my fault.”_

_The hatter stood up, approaching Killian as he gave him a searching stare, as if he were trying to figure out exactly what Killian had done before the pirate could explain. His stare scanned Killian, like he was looking for a written explanation of the pirates sudden appearance, before zeroing in on the blackened heart beating in Killian’s fist._

_“Whose heart is that?” he asked calculatingly, reaching out as though he wanted to take the heart from Killian. Killian pulled his hand back, refusing to let his only leverage towards Cora be taken from him. “What did you do?”_

_“I may have stolen something rather valuable.” Killian stated, wary about the sudden mad glint that had appeared in the hatters eyes._

_“Valuable to who?”_

_“If you haven’t already guessed, the Queen of Hearts.”_

_The instant he finished speaking, everything happened very quickly. Guards poured into the room, jostling Killian forward towards the hatter, right as the other man reached out and stole the heart from his grasp. Killian yelled out in protest, prevented from snatching the heart back by the point of a halberd against his throat, the guards backing him into the wall, the metal nicking a small cut in his throat._

_“This is just getting more and more exciting.” the hatter said wildly, his grin enormous, turning the heart over and over in his hand as he examined it, his thumb brushing almost tenderly across it._

_“Are you working for her?” Killian hissed, the spear cutting into his throat with each word. “Delaying me until the guards arrived? I can’t believe I fell for that!”_

_“I’m not working for her.” Jefferson said, a deranged cackle drawing the attention of the guards away from Killian. “If I was, I highly doubt I’d do this.”_

_His grin was frighteningly wide as he suddenly clenched his fist tightly, the heart in his hand crumbling into dust that spilled from his fingers and drifted to the floor. The guards and Killian stared at the hatter in astonishment, but he didn’t seem to care, rubbing his hands together in an attempt to brush any remaining dust away before turning to the guards with a gleeful laugh. “Your Queen is dead. Just go.”_

_“You killed her?” Killian asked, slumping away from the wall and raising his hand to his neck, grimacing when he felt blood. “You crushed her heart.”_

_“She deserved it. She cut off my head once. I think it was only fair.”_

_“Who are you? You’re not just a hatter.”_

_The man's jaw clenched at the last word, nodding in agreement. “You’re right. I’m not a hatter. Call me Jefferson. Just Jefferson.”_

~~~*~~~

Baelfire scratched at the witch’s hands, trying to force her to release him. Killian wasn’t sure what to do, glancing between the other man and Emma, leaving it to be her decision. Emma appeared equally unsure about what to do, her choice made when Baelfire started to gasp and struggle, his head lolling forward when he fell unconscious only moments later.

Emma yelled and leapt forward, throwing a furious punch towards Zelena and catching her chin, the witch dropping Baelfire in surprise and raising her hand to touch her now bleeding lip. Killian caught Baelfire as he fell, watching as Emma went in for another blow. Zelena was cackling, her head crashing against the dungeon wall as Emma shoved her.

“Stop trying to _stop_ us!” Emma yelled, and Killian could see every angry thought that she had considered since Zelena had further complicated their quest finally rising to the surface and taking over. “We’re not going to fail! We’re not going to let you win.”

Even with the dark green bruises blossoming on her skin, Zelena appeared amused, her fingers twitching as she cast some sort of spell. A green glow began to dance across Emma’s skin, the way it had back when Zelena had frozen him in place, and Killian released Baelfire when he realised how vulnerable Zelena’s spell would make Emma.

As the spell worked its way up her body, Emma glanced at Killian, determined, and then reached out and grabbed the witch’s large necklace, twisting the chain and pulling at it, the witch choking slightly, panicking. As the magic crept the last few inches up Emma’s chest, she yanked the necklace, the clasp breaking and the large green stone dropping to the floor, the power holding Emma fading into wisps of green smoke.

Killian looked away from Emma, scrambling to grab the necklace after seeing how Zelena’s spell had faltered when it fell from her neck, hearing how the women were still fighting. He took the gem and passed it to Jefferson, who hid it in his clenched fist just as Zelena fell to the floor, her face twisted in anger, Emma standing triumphantly over her.

“I said we’d win.” she taunted, no smile on her face when she looked around the cell at Baelfire’s collapsed figure and Jefferson’s imprisoned hands. She grimaced, crossing the small distance to kneel beside Baelfire and dig the lockpick out of his pockets. With the implement in her hand, she moved over to Jefferson and began to fiddle with the lock, ignoring Killian’s impressed look. “Baelfire taught me a few things.”

But before Jefferson could be freed, Killian caught sight of the witch moving, pulling a knife from her boot. He couldn’t do anything but yell in warning as Zelena surged towards Emma, the knife catching her in the shoulder, another wound on her body, more blood on her clothes, and then he didn’t even think. He dove forward, his hook sinking into the witch’s back, entering her body without any resistance and pulling his arm back to find the witch’s heart impaled on his hook, no outward mark left on her.

Zelena trembled, a cry of pain falling from her lips as Killian held the heart tightly in his hand, and she turned to stare at him, her eyes wide, insane. “How did you do that?”

Killian shrugged, the action having been unintentional, uncertain how to continue now that he was holding the woman’s beating heart in his hand. Zelena stared at the organ, and then, her expression desperate, wrenched Emma to her feet, her knife biting into Emma’s neck and causing a small trickle of blood to creep nauseatingly from the wound. “You may have my heart, _pirate_ , but I have your love. I can still kill her.” she hissed, Emma whimpering slightly. “And I won’t miss this time. Hand my heart back!”

Killian glared at her, Emma’s injured body causing hatred to rise up inside him. “You won’t kill her.” he snarled, losing all control when Zelena’s eyes lit up, a manic expression distorting her face.

“Are you really willing to risk that, Captain?” she sung, the knife digging further into Emma’s skin.

Killian refused to let Emma be hurt anymore, and with an impulsive clench of his fist, he felt the witch’s heart collapse and crumble, dust slipping through his fingers and floating to the ground. Zelena gasped, the knife dropping from her hand as she convulsed and fell, green smoke rising from the amulet in Jefferson’s clenched fist the instant she took her final breath. “No,” Killian whispered, the realisation of what he had just done only sinking in now that Emma was safe and the rage had drained from him. His gaze turned horrified as he stared down at the dust dirtying his hand but he spoke resolutely to the witch’s remains. “I’m not.”

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go - a bit later than usual, but also a bit longer! There's only chapter after this, which will be up sometime next week. Enjoy this chapter! Thanks for the kudos and the comments, and of course a big thanks to Hawkeye733 for betaing.

#  **Chapter 11**

They had left the witch’s palace as soon as Emma had freed Jefferson from the handcuffs. Killian had hoisted Baelfire over his shoulder and carried him out, the exertion a distraction from what he had just done. However, nothing could stop him from noticing that Emma hadn’t looked at him since he had crushed Zelena’s heart in his hand, that she had been released from the witch’s grip and immediately turned away.

After a short break just outside, where Baelfire woke and bandaged Emma’s newest wounds, Jefferson ate and Killian used too much of his water to attempt to wash the dust from his hands, they had continued walking. Emma and Baelfire were in front, apparently involved in a conversation that Killian couldn’t hear, but Jefferson was limping along beside him.

He shouldn’t have killed the witch. He should have figured out something else and found another way to save Emma. His first instinctive move had been to attack the witch, but once he held the heart in his hand, he hadn’t thought to control her, something that he only now realised had been possible, but to kill her, crushing it without a second thought.

These weren’t the actions of a good man. As much as he had tried to be honourable, giving up his vengeance without even harming Rumplestiltskin, it seemed their trip to Oz had demonstrated exactly who he was - a villain.

He clenched his fist even tighter, reluctant to open it ever since he had seen the grey dust still staining his skin, his pace slowing so as to put even more distance between himself and Emma. Jefferson followed suit, keeping his position next to the pirate. “It’s not a big deal.” Jefferson muttered eventually, shrugging. “So you crushed someone’s heart. It’s not like it was someone anyone will miss. And it’s not like you’ll do it again. I’ve done it too. Really, don’t beat yourself up over it. I never did.”

“Yes, well, I’d rather not be like you.” Killian bit out, disregarding Jefferson’s hurt expression as they continued walking. “You’re a coward who took the easy way out. A man who refuses to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets, and you always stop fighting. I don’t want to be like you. I don’t want to have _nothing_.”

Jefferson’s lip curled, and he glared at Killian. “Stop it. I know exactly what I have and what I don’t have. And you, you have everything. Stop being angry with yourself, and stop taking it out on me.” he snarled. “That princess, she loves you. I don’t know why, but she does. And yes, you killed someone, but you did it to save her. What choice did you have?”

“I could have used the heart to control Zelena, to tell her to let Emma go. I didn’t need to kill her.”

“You sure?” Jefferson questioned. “Because that woman had a knife to Emma’s throat. She could have killed her before you even managed to tell her what to do. You needed to act quickly, and you did, and you saved her.”

“So much for trying to be better.” Killian mumbled, remembering how he had confessed his fears to Jefferson, about his worries that Emma would realise who he really was. “I killed someone, in front of her, and Zelena wasn’t the first person I’ve killed since I last saw you. If Emma still doesn’t know who I am, then she’s an idiot.”

“Now I know you don’t actually think that.” Jefferson reprimanded, reaching out and thumping Killian’s arm angrily. "Have you ever considered that she loves you in spite all of that? Or that maybe she sees the good in you, even if neither of us can see it."

"I don't deserve love like that. I'm not worthy of it." Killian stated with a sad grimace. "And she deserves far better than me."

Jefferson looked as if he were about to respond, but then they heard Baelfire's voice, raised to a shout as his and Emma's discussion seemed to draw to an abrupt end. "I told you that you would see the real him, and you have, and you're just ignoring it." The other man insisted, grabbing Emma's arm to hold her still. "He's a pirate, Emma. A murderer!"

Killian didn't want to hear Emma's response, hanging back even as Emma moved away from Baelfire and continued further along the path, Baelfire chasing after her. He couldn't hear her response, fear that she would agree eating away at him. Despite his insistence to Jefferson that she would be stupid not to know the real him, he knew that any such words from Emma would cut too deep to heal and he selfishly wanted to avoid that pain for as long as he could.

He stayed away for a while, alone in the centre of the path, his gaze locked on his reddened hook and the lingering particles of dust clinging to his hand. For a minute, he just stared at the evidence of his crime and then clenched his fist tightly, hiding what he could from sight.

He should just stay there, and let them travel without him. Perhaps they wouldn't even miss him. Not now.

He closed his eyes, refusing to let any tears fall for something he had brought upon himself, and then he felt the soft, warm touch of Emma's fingers, prizing his fist open so she could lace her fingers through his the way she always did and it felt so real that for a moment he refused to open his eyes, to see that she wasn't there and he was still alone.

"Come on, Killian." He could hear her, and the clarity of her voice was enough for him to open his eyes, a shocked breath escaping him when he realised she truly was in front of him, her hand linked with his."We don't want you to be left behind."

He didn't respond, searching her face for any sign of repulsion or realisation. Surely she couldn't be looking at him the same way as before? And yet nothing seemed to have changed.

"Let go, Emma." He murmured, Emma contradicting him by tightening her hold on his hand. "Do you not remember what I just did? With that hand?"

"I remember. And we can discuss it more later." She said simply, tugging him along so that they were walking side by side as if nothing had changed. "But all I truly need to know is that you saved my life."

They walked silently for a while, Killian revelling in the feel of her palm against his, still worried that he would lose that a feeling at any moment. After a while, however, everything felt like too much, his overwhelming emotions choking him as he finally asked the question he was terrified of saying. "Do you still feel the same way about me?"

He wanted to take the words back, to have never introduced the possibility of hearing an answer, but Emma surprised him once again, pulling him to a stop so that she could face him, her other hand taking a hold of his hook. "Remember how we talked about your heart and Zelena's magic?"

"About how I felt less because I usually felt more?" It was a clumsy response, but Emma understood, nodding in clarification. "It's a nice thought, but it's not true."

"You may think that you felt less simply because you don't love as much, but I know no one has ever loved me the way you do." Her voice had lowered to a whisper, forcing Killian to step closer. "I feel it every time you look at me."

"I do love you." He promised again, voice cracking. "That will never change. I told you before, Swan. Nothing could stop me from loving you."

"Then why do you think anything could stop _me_?" She looked passionate, desperate for him to believe the incredible things she was saying, and yet it was inconceivable. She was a woman deserving of unconditional love, and even if he didn't have many of the qualities that someone like Emma truly deserved, that was something he _could_ give her. Killian, however, couldn’t believe that he should ever be worthy of such a love.

"Because I'm-" He couldn't finish, Emma pushing upwards to slide her lips over his, an unspoken promise that, while still not enough to make him believe, was sufficient enough to make him forget. He sank closer to her, holding tightly and devouring her, just in case this was their last kiss, and it was only when Emma moaned eagerly into his mouth, fingers grasping at his shoulders, his waist, that he pulled himself away, taking a moment to stare at the breathless, perfect image she displayed, her mouth swollen and panting, her eyes closed as she leant towards him, following his lips.

"We _will_ talk about what happened." She insisted after she had caught her breath, turning to walk with him along the road once more. "But not yet. Tonight. You need to talk about it, and I want to listen. Just, don't worry, alright? I've said it before, but it looks like I need to keep saying it until you believe me. _Nothing_ will change how I feel about you."

He wanted to believe her, desperately, but he couldn't. No matter what she was saying about his heart, or her love, he had to make sure she knew the truth.

He was a villain, and that wasn't going to change. Zelena's death, her murder, had proved that.

~~~*~~~

They had camped earlier in the day than usual, the whole group feeling worn out after their encounter with Zelena, and the minute they reached the charred remains of their fire from the previous night, they had all settled down to rest.

Jefferson was already asleep, having eaten some stale bread before leaning against a tree and falling easily into a deep slumber. Baelfire was near him, examining his nails intently and clearly trying to ignore Emma and Killian.

The two of them had sat a fair distance away from the others, just close enough to feel the warmth of the fire. Killian was carefully examining the bandages wrapped around her injuries, something that was made more difficult given Emma’s insistence to keep a hold of his hand.

She hadn’t let go once.

“You said we were going to talk.” Killian reminded her quietly, her continuous show of affection      still confusing him. “Now would be a good time, I suppose.”

“Are you alright? I can’t imagine crushing a heart was easy.” she murmured, reaching up to cup his chin and hold his stare with hers. “Not after Milah.”

“That’s the thing, Emma.” Killian admitted slowly, swallowing anxiously. “It _wasn’t_ hard. Not with her threatening you like that. I didn’t even think about it, I just did it.”

“I wasn’t talking about then. I think I would have done the same, if she had you.” Killian shook his head, doubting that Emma would even have taken the heart in the first place. “But it’s difficult for you now. Don’t deny that. You’ve been quiet since it happened.”

“You wouldn’t have. You would never take a heart, Emma. You’re too good. At least now you’ve seen who I am, although I don’t understand why you haven’t run away yet.”

Emma sighed, sounding as if she was barely containing her irritation, but kept her hands in contact with him. “I don’t know if you heard Baelfire, but if you did, don’t listen to him. He’s wrong. I _do_ know who you are. And I know why you did what you did and I understand.”

She really looked like she did, her earnest expression unwavering, even when he wrenched himself away from her touch to frown at her. “How can you just understand? I _killed_ someone.”

“I’m not this perfect, good person that you seem to think I am. I don’t think anyone is.” Emma said, her voice pitched in that low, determined, slightly nervous tone that she often affected when she was about to say something difficult. “If I could take a heart, which is the main thing I will need you to explain to me sometime, and if it was you, or Henry, in Zelena’s grip, I would have done the same. I mean, I think I would. My father would. My mother would. We can try to do the right thing, but sometimes there isn’t a good choice and both options are hard or wrong. And when that happens, we just have to hope that people will be there to help us and not judge us, the way I know my family would do for me. And now, I’m here for you. Because I love you. And I _do_ understand. Please don’t doubt me anymore, Killian.”

He didn’t doubt her, he couldn’t when she was looking at him like that, her eyes wide and imploring, reaching out to thread their fingers together once more. “You shouldn’t love me.” He croaked, and Emma’s eyes widened. He glanced away, not wanting to see her reaction when she realised that it wasn’t her that he was doubting. “I’m not the sort of man you deserve. I want to be. But I’m not.”

“What sort of man do I deserve?”

“Someone better. Someone’s who isn’t a pirate, for one thing.” He began haltingly, not sure what to say. “Someone who does the right thing without needing to think about it, instead of choosing the wrong thing instinctively.”

He was going to continue, but Emma held a finger to his lips, shushing him. “And you don’t think that’s you?”

“I know it’s not.” he answered, lips catching on the tip of her finger as he spoke. “That’s not me.”

“I know you want to be a better man, and you’re trying. And, of course it’s going to be hard, because you are a pirate and before you met me, you did some stuff that you’re not proud of. But that’s the thing. If you were truly as bad as you seem to believe, would you regret what you’ve done? Would you even want to change? I don’t think so.” Her breaths quickened again, and she looked down at their joint hands instead of at him. Killian felt a mixture of disbelief and excitement as he waited for her to continue speaking, unsure of what she would say but feeling, with a surprising amount of certainty, that whatever it was would be overwhelming and incredible. “That man you described? I think if I met someone like that, I’d still pick you. Think what you want, Killian. Villain, pirate, whatever. To me, you’re my hero. And that is not something I’ll ever say again. But you have to know, especially now. It’s not just because you saved my life back with Zelena. It’s everything. Back when we met, I didn’t need help, not like you’ve given me. I’m good at figuring things out and I would have gone to the ends of the earth for Henry, alone, whether I’d met you or not. But I did meet you and you helped me. I don’t need someone to fight battles for me or traverse realms on mysterious quests, but you did it anyway and I never had to ask.”

“Emma.” His voice was broken, ragged, as he leant his forehead down to rest against hers, their breath mingling in the small space between them, the world narrowed to the two of them.

“You’re a hero to me, Killian.” she repeated softly, releasing his hand so that she could tenderly rest both hands on his cheeks, holding him close. “And I love you. And I want you to feel how much.”

She leant in, Killian’s eyes closing only when her lips touched his. For a brief moment, they breathed each other in and then Emma’s tongue traced the seam of his lips and she was exploring him, pressing into him, incoherent murmurs escaping her.

He wrapped his arms around her, pressing her against him, letting her keep control. With every touch, every change of angle, he could _feel_ it and her and he wanted to lie her down and feel the warmth of her skin against his and _love_ her.

A loud, irritated scoff broke the spell they were under, and Killian remembered that although their whispered conversation had been private, Baelfire was there and he could see them.

“I forgot he was there.” She whispered, twisting to send Baelfire an awkward, apologetic smile. “But I think I got my point across. Right?”

Killian smiled at her, an incredulous look that caused Emma to grin smugly before she turned in his arms to rest against him.

After everything that had happened, Killian would never have believed that Emma would curl up in his arms again, but he would have never expected such words from her either. He couldn’t stop thinking about what she had said, dropping a brief kiss to the crown of her hand when she relaxed and her breathing slowed.

It amazed him how easily she could sleep in his arms.

He tried to sleep too, but he couldn’t. As amazed as he always felt with every declaration she made, this one resonated through him. She really did love him, as much as he loved her. Yet he still knew she deserved a better man.

But she wanted him. She loved him and she would choose him. So he needed to be that man for her. He needed to be better.

“Hook?”

Killian looked up from Emma, surprised to see Baelfire standing before them. “Bae? Do you want something?”

Baelfire sighed, and then sat down beside him. “How did you do it? How did you take the heart?”

“I didn’t intend to.” Killian admitted. “I think I was really just aiming to hurt her. But my hook has been enchanted for years. I’d forgotten about it. I could take one heart, that was the deal, and I didn’t use the power when I was meant to.”

“What sort of deal would involve you taking a heart?”

“Exactly the sort of deal you would expect me to make.” He avoided the specifics, aware that whatever Baelfire came up with wasn’t likely to be much worse than the actual deed. It had been an assassination plot, after all.

“I don’t think you killed my mother.” Baelfire said after a few moments spent in an awkward silence. “I want to. It’s better than thinking it was my papa. But I’ve seen you with Emma, and if you loved my mum even half as much, I don’t think you would have hurt her. Not on purpose.”

Killian swallowed, feeling choked by Baelfire’s words. This evening had been full of surprises, but Baelfire’s admittance was the biggest shock. “I never would have hurt her.”

“But why did you take her away?” Baelfire asked, and his heartlessness was clear, his voice free of all the emotions Killian would have expected. The words sounded rehearsed, something he might have pictured saying to Killian years before. “I needed her. More than I even knew back then. If she had stayed, my papa wouldn’t have become the Dark One. My life wouldn’t have been so miserable. Do you realise that?”

“And I’m sorry. But it was your mother’s choice to make.” Killian said somberly, remembering seeing Milah waiting for him at the docks and the rush of excitement he had felt when he realised she was there for him, how grateful he had been that he was the man she had chosen.

He knew now that at first, she hadn’t chosen him at all. She had chosen freedom.

“You could have said no. She didn’t sneak onto your ship. I remember my papa leaving to find her.”

“What do you want me to say, Bae? That if I knew the consequences of it all, I would have done the right thing? I can’t say that.” He pressed another kiss to Emma’s head, her presence providing him some comfort even in sleep. “Everything that happened then led to everything now. To this. And as for Milah, if I did know the consequences, I could not let her stay with the man who would murder her. At least we got to share a decade of happiness. Together, Bae, we were free. I hate to have to say this, but freedom was what Milah loved. More than she loved me.  Perhaps the only thing that she loved more than you.”

It was a relief to finally have this long overdue conversation with Baelfire, and it had been easier with Baelfire’s muted reactions.  When Killian stopped talking, Baelfire’s jaw clenched and he looked away, the only sign that he was bothered by Killian’s words. “She never looked as peaceful with me. Emma, I mean. I guess she must love you. Especially because she’s sticking with you after what you did this morning.”

“I guess so.” Killian agreed quietly, brushing a few strands of hair away from Emma’s face, staring down at her with adoration. “She does know about my past. I’ve told her. She knows what sort of man I used to be. The man I still am. I do want to be better though, for her.”

Baelfire scrutinized him for a few minutes and then shook his head and stood up. “You’ll never change, Hook. Not really.” he said, and he sounded almost sad. “I am sorry though. I wish you could.”

~~~*~~~

After another day of walking the four of them found themselves back at Baelfire’s palace by nightfall, an opportunity for one last rest before they continued the journey to the doorway back to their realm.

Baelfire had revealed during their travels that his palace had access to an underground tunnel that lead to the Emerald City, one that he had often used whenever he was summoned by the witch. Avoiding the deadly desert was a welcome idea, and so the group had decided to venture along it the following morning, once they had restocked with food and water from the palace’s own stocks.

All of them were exhausted upon their arrival, and Baelfire had led them upstairs to the rooms they had used during the previous visit. Ignoring Baelfire’s disapproving look, Emma had allowed Jefferson the use of the large room she had been given before, and had insisted on sharing the tiny room with Killian once again.

Emma was sitting on the edge of the bed when Killian entered the room, having spent a few minutes discussing their return to the Enchanted Forest with Jefferson before retreating to bed. As usual, she was dressed only in one of his shirts, this time a threadbare one that she must have dug out of their supplies.

“Killian?” she muttered, holding out her hand for him to take, tugging him closer once his hand had linked with hers. “Everything is going to be alright, you know? We’ll be home soon, back on the Jolly Roger.”

“The Jolly Roger?” Killian repeated, sinking to his knees so that they were face-to-face. “That’s your home now?”

“It’s your home, so it’s where I want to be.” she murmured, her free hand rising to cup his cheek. “With you and with Henry.”

He smiled sadly. The thought was wonderful, Emma and Henry and him together on the Jolly Roger, traversing the seas, but he knew such a dream was impossible. He was reluctant to voice the thought and bring Emma back to the reality of what was bound to happen when they returned to the Enchanted Forest. The Jolly Roger was unlikely to ever become their home, not when she was a princess. “We’ll see.”

Her eyebrows creased together, her gaze concerned, and then she didn’t speak, leaning in to press her lips gently to his. The contact made all the thoughts of the prospects ahead flee his mind, Killian certain once again that the future would be fine, as long as she was with him. He pressed closer, Emma arching into him as the kiss grew more desperate. Nights like this, alone, were rare and he needed to treasure them.

Emma seemed to think the same, her hands sliding down his chest to tug his shirt free from his trousers, the kiss breaking as she lifted it off him and tossed it aside. His own hand hovered at the hem of her shirt, an eyebrow raised questioningly. She nodded, and he took it off her, inching it up her body painfully slowly.

She was as glorious as he remembered, her entire body bare to him except for the bandages wrapped around her upper arm and shoulder. He raised his hand to brush carefully against the edge of the fabric and then bent to press a kiss to the skin just below.

“It’s going to scar, you know?” Emma was biting her lip, stare locked on him as he raised his head. “I won’t… It’s always going to be there. I’ll always have these marks on me.”

Killian frowned, her sudden anxiety surprising him, and from the wide-eyed look on her face, she had surprised herself too. Maybe not with the thoughts, but he doubted she had meant to voice her worries to him, and it was with an understanding smile that he pressed one further kiss by the bandage. “You’re beautiful. Magnificent. Scars won’t change that.” he whispered, Emma listening intently. “In fact, I’d say these scars will just make you even more stunning. Because not only are you beautiful, but you’re tough and determined and fierce, and these scars show that, even if you’re dressed in one of those huge gowns that are the more usual attire for princesses like yourself, you’re a force to be reckoned with.”  

“Tough? Fierce?” she repeated, her voice as low as his had been. “You make me sound like a pirate.”

“Well, take that as a compliment, love.” He instructed, brushing his nose against hers and then trailing soft kisses down her chest, enjoying the way her breath grew shallow. “You’re _everything_. You’re a pirate, you’re a princess, you’re _you_.”

He felt her hands thread through his hair, tugging his head back so he could look up at her. She looked overwhelmed, her lips trembling slightly, gaze locked on him. He beamed up at her, hoping his sincerity was obvious, and then her hold on his hair loosened, allowing him to turn his head to kiss the curve of her knee.

She _loved_ him, and for the first time, he truly believed that she would love him no matter what, as it impossible as it had seemed. She had shown him, over the past few days, how understanding she could be, and how, even if she didn’t approve of his actions, she was willing to forgive him. She knew what he struggled with, and she knew it wouldn’t be easy for him to simply be the man of honour he had once been, and she loved him in spite of all that.

He had never loved anyone more. With no certainty as to when they would next be alone together, he needed to take this night to show her how much she meant to him, how much he worshipped her.

Emma’s breath hitched as he pressed yet another kiss, just an inch higher, and he could feel her eyes on him as he stroked his hand down her side to rest at her hips, working kisses up the inside of her thigh. “What are you doing?” she stammered, her hand fisting in his hair as she slid closer to the edge of the bed, closer to him.

“You’re my princess.” he teased, speaking into her skin and grinning when she shuddered under him. “I’m swearing fealty.”

Emma laughed, a breathless, excited sound. “This isn’t the traditional way of doing that.”

“Well, Swan, I am a pirate.”

~~~*~~~

Waking up to Emma had always been something he treasured, and with the light of sunrise bleeding into the small room, she looked exquisite, her hair splayed across his chest, hand against his heart.

Their night together had passed in a similar fashion to the last time they had slept in the palace been spent similarly to the last time they were at the palace, the two of them eager to make the other feel good, but reluctant to finally come together, not in a place that meant so little to them and with Baelfire so close by. There were some issues, things they needed to discuss and so they murmured it to each other in the darkness, wrapped securely in each others arms when it was as easy to focus on the warmth of each other as it was to think about the truth of Killian’s enchanted hook.

He simply gazed at her for a while, his hand combing gently through her hair, but then the sun was too high and he knew they needed to get moving. He murmured her name a few times, and she stirred, eyes opening slowly as a dazed smile spread across her face.

She tilted her head to press her lips to his, a sleepy kiss he hadn’t expected. “Morning, Captain.” she mumbled. It took a few moments for her to fully wake, sitting up and running a hand through her hair with a sigh. “I can’t wait for the day when we don’t have to get up and walk for hours. When we can just stay in bed.”

He sat up too, a quick kiss brushed to her bare shoulder blade. “That does sound wonderful.” He agreed, watching as she slid out of the bed and began to dress, hurriedly tying her hair into a plait once she was done.

She smiled coyly at him, and then gathered his own clothes and tossed them at him, laughing when his shirt landed on his head. “Get dressed, dear.” Killian expected her to leave the room and go to prepare with the others, but she waited for him to be ready, stopping his hand and doing his buttons up for him the same way she had a couple of times before.

“You know, I can dress myself.” he pointed out, holding her hand in place when she moved to step away. “I’m not complaining. I just wanted to assure you that my hook can be rather… _useful_.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” she agreed, giving him one more kiss before leaving the room, Killian close behind her.

Somehow, despite the ill-fated events in Zelena’s prison, things seemed pleasantly lighter than before.

~~~*~~~

Baelfire had accompanied the three of them into the underground passage, stating that he needed to collect something from the now-empty Wizard's palace. This was bound to be his heart, but even after his announcement, Emma had remained silent about her possession of the organ.

They had been walking for hours in silence, Baelfire taking the lead, Jefferson walking alongside him and moaning incessantly about his experiences over the past weeks. This left Killian and Emma together, a few steps behind the others, their hands linked, but they said nothing.

Emma had insisted, the day before, that he was a hero, however ridiculous it sounded. That he didn't need to be a better man. Maybe he didn't. It appeared she would love him either way, and that had created a warmth in him that refused to leave.

Yet, he still wanted to be better. He needed to be with her, he wanted to be with her, and because he knew she deserved someone better, he needed to be that someone. For her and for him. He had realised that if anything happened to Emma, be it injury or death, all vengeful, self destructive thoughts would return. Since meeting Emma, however, he had also realised that he truly did want to be a good man, the way he had been when he was younger, with Liam. He no longer wanted to be the man who would sink into darkness when he was alone. He wanted to be stronger.

He _could_ be a good man with Emma around. He knew that for certain. Although he had faltered over the past couple of weeks, he had only failed when Emma had been in danger and the thought of losing her had overwhelmed him.

But to truly be a good man, he needed to know that, without her, darkness wouldn’t possess him once again. He didn’t want Emma to worry that, should he ever find himself alone, he would return to the man he was before they met. She should never have to deal with such a responsibility.

In order to prove such a thing about himself, he would need to leave her.

Not for long and not yet. He couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her for too long, and she would have to understand why before he could go. Baelfire had abandoned her once, and he would not be one to leave her without an explanation.

He stopped walking for a moment, dreading the moment when he would have to tell her, whenever that would be. Now he had considered it, however, he knew he _needed_ to do it.

“Is everything alright?” Emma had come to a halt too, having been forced to either release his hand or to stay beside him. He looked up at her, the orange glow of Baelfire’s torch dancing across her face, and simply nodded. Her eyes narrowed, and Killian knew she could sense he wasn’t being entirely truthful. He swallowed, pulled her close and then pressed a brief, almost desperate kiss to her lips. “You’re lying. What aren’t you telling me?”

“Trust me, Emma. I will tell you.” Killian promised, his eyes closed and his forehead resting against hers. “But right now, sweetheart, I promise that everything is alright.”

“No. Something’s different.” She mumbled, and he felt her hand brush against his neck. “Remember, if you need to talk, about anything, I want to know. I want to listen.”

He smiled at her, a soft smile that caused her eyelids to flutter, her thumb caressing his jaw. The light was fading, her face slipping into darkness, and it was only this that made Killian realise that the other two men were getting further away, the only light available to them being carried away by Baelfire. “Come on, Swan. We’re getting closer and closer to you having your son back in your arms. We don’t want to lag behind.”

~~~*~~~

After arriving in the Emerald City, they had cajoled Baelfire into accompanying them along the yellow brick road, Emma requesting one final favour before they left. Baelfire had agreed, Zelena’s death having left him with very little purpose in Oz so he had nothing better to do, and he had stated that his mission in the Emerald City could be delayed until after their departure.

Jefferson had opened the door the instant they arrived, seeming surprisingly determined to return back to his home. Baelfire hung back, a wary expression on his face as he stared into the doorway.

Emma stepped beside him, a hand resting gently on his arm. “You could come with us. You said it yourself, there’s nothing for you here.”

“So this is why you really wanted me to follow you here?” Baelfire asked, incredulous. “To go back to the Enchanted Forest with you? I can’t. Things may be changing now, but I’ve been here for a decade. This place is my home. I can’t leave, not when part of me will always remain here.”

“Part of you?” Emma’s hand fell to rest on the small bag she had tied to her belt, the one Killian knew contained Baelfire’s heart. “Bae, please. You don’t understand. You have to come back. That’s why I’m here. Why we’re here. We came here for you. Don’t let us leave without you coming with us.”

Baelfire stared at Emma intently, his gaze searching, while he warily stepped closer to the portal, his expression torn. “Why? Why would you come for me? After everything.”

“Can’t you trust me and just come back with us?”

“No.” Baelfire grimaced, his fists clenching. “You’ve lied to me the whole time you’ve been in Oz. First about Hook and now about this. Why should I go back to the land I spent my life running from?”

Killian saw how Emma’s hand flexed slightly and she bit her lip, clearly considering taking the heart in her hand and commanding Baelfire to follow them, but he knew how much she would rather avoid that course of action. She grimaced, looking down, her free hand reaching out towards Killian, the pirate lacing their fingers together. “You have to come back because if you don’t…” her voice was trembling. “If you don’t, I won’t see my son again. I need you to do this.”

“Your son?” Baelfire repeated, his shocked gaze darting between Emma and Killian. “You have a son? Together?”

“No.” Emma glanced back at Killian, terrified by what she was about to admit and he stepped closer, arm wrapping around her waist. "Not together. He's my son... With you. He's called Henry. He's ten."

"I have a son? And you're only telling me this now? To get me to go back with you?" He didn't sound too surprised or upset, merely confused. Perhaps it was that he could only replicate emotions that he had previous experience of. This was a situation he had clearly never come across and as such his muted emotions left him struggling to formulate the appropriate response. "Why? Why do you need me to get him back?"

"Do you need to know anymore?" Emma was almost crying, and as much as Killian wanted to take over and make it easier for her, this was something else Emma had to do herself. "You have to do something for your son. You shouldn't need to know more. Not now. When Henry is safe, we can talk then."

Baelfire's jaw tensed and then he nodded, stepping across the remaining distance so that he was standing beside Jefferson and gazing through the portal. "We will talk, Emma. You should have told me." He reached out, the air in the doorway rippling when he touched it, and then he flinched and staggered backwards, his hand clutching at his chest. "No, I can't. I don't know why but I can't leave."

"You don't know why?" Emma repeated, staring at the hand on Baelfire's chest. "You just can't leave?"

"I feel like I can't leave. There's something keeping me here. Like someone told me I can never leave Oz."

Killian knew that hearts could be used to give orders, and it made sense for Zelena to instruct Baelfire to remain trapped in Oz, and yet he had never considered that such orders might continue even after the heart transferred into another's possession. Emma seemed to realise at the same moment, exchanging an exhausted glance.

"I'm sorry, Baelfire." She whispered, untying the string holding the leather bag closed, taking Baelfire's heart in her hand. "I didn't want to do this." He frowned, his eyes widening in confusion when he saw the red organ pulsing in Emma's hand. She raised the heart close to her lips, shaking her head apologetically as she spoke. "Baelfire, come with us back to the Enchanted Forest. Leave Oz."

"We'll talk about this too." Baelfire said, his voice hard, but he was already walking towards the door, turning his head to speak to Emma. Jefferson followed him, the two of them stepping through the portal and leaving Emma and Killian alone, the door still open.

"I didn't want to do any of that." Emma whispered, Killian brushing a soft kiss to her temple. "I don't want to have that talk with Baelfire. I don't want to have to explain anything. I don't want things to be hard anymore."

"I'm sorry." Killian headed to the portal, Emma still at his side and just before they stepped through, he stopped and turned to look down at her. "No matter what happens on the other side, out of the hat, you have Baelfire back in your land, your son will be safe and he will be with you. Anything else that may occur, I will be there for you, the way that you've been there for me. Everything will be alright, and if it's not, then I will not rest until it is."

She smiled at him, a slightly watery smile, and then she gave a small tug on his hand and led him through the doorway.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

#  **Chapter 12**

It felt strange to be back in the Enchanted Forest, standing in front of Jefferson’s home, with Jefferson standing on one side of the hat, Emma and Killian opposite him. Weeks had passed but, other than Baelfire’s presence, it appeared as though nothing had changed since they had left.

Except everything had.

Baelfire’s entire body was tense, having clearly waited anxiously for Emma and Killian to return from Oz, his stare locked firmly on the heart still held gently in Emma’s hand. “Did you have it the whole time? Did you know the whole time?” He stepped towards Emma, eyes narrowed. “Did you use it? Before now?”

Emma glanced at Killian quickly, a wide-eyed, nervous look that made him tighten his hold on her hand. “Never. I would never have used it. I only used it because I had to, because of how you were trapped in Oz.”

“How can I know that?” Baelfire’s voice was quiet, furious, his approach towards them halted when Jefferson stepped in front in order to retrieve his hat. “Move. You’re not part of this.”

Jefferson seemed eager to escape the drama, tucking the top hat under his arm and then hurrying inside his cottage. Baelfire watched him leave, his eyebrows furrowing when Jefferson sent him a sarcastic wave goodbye as the the door closed behind him, and then turned his full attention back to Killian and Emma. “Bae?”

Baelfire’s eyes flickered over to meet Killian’s the instant the pirate spoke, and he barked a harsh laugh. “Let me guess? Are you going to tell me it was your plan? To keep a hold of my heart? Because either way, both of you were part of it. And how can you expect me to believe anything you say when you’ve lied about everything?”

“Because you know me?” Emma answered, and she sounded uncertain. “Whatever we had may have been a long time ago, and only brief, but you should know me enough to know I wouldn’t do that.”

“And I know _him_ enough to know he would. You needed me and he loves you, so I can imagine he would do anything to get me to come with you.” Baelfire spat. “Including controlling me. Now put it back. You’ve got me here. Apparently I have a son I have to save, so surely having a heart again might give me even more reason to help. Unless you’d prefer to keep controlling me like you’ve been doing all this time?”

“We didn’t control you. But you’re right. I would have controlled you. I was the one who suggested it. So don’t blame Emma.” Killian explained. “But I can’t find it in myself to regret it. Zelena’s orders still controlled you. If we’d put it back, you’d still be there and Emma would have lost all hope. So keep still and let us give it back.”

Baelfire’s mouth twitched, lip curling, and then he nodded and opened his arms wide. “Have you ever done this before? Or should I worry that you’ll accidentally kill me.”

“I’m rather certain putting the heart back is the easiest part of this whole debacle.” Killian muttered, observing carefully as Emma stepped closer to Baelfire. “Granted that you know where a heart is meant to reside. Which Emma does, I assure you.”

Emma smiled softly at him, and then turned back to Baelfire, her expression reassuring. “I’ve done it before. I put Killian’s heart back when Zelena took it from him. I can do it for you.”

“Are you sure?” Baelfire still seemed dubious, despite their matching confidence, and his skepticism caused Emma to step away slightly, biting her lip and turning to Killian. “I just don’t want anyone trying to stick my heart back in my chest and messing it up.”

“She’s not going to mess it up.” Killian stated surely, nodding at Emma. She returned the nod, holding out Baelfire’s heart so it rested against his chest. “Don’t doubt her.”

“I can do this.” Emma repeated, a thankful smile sent towards Killian before she pressed her hand and the heart into Baelfire’s chest, a white, glowing ripple appearing as the heart sank into him. He gasped, a pained sound that caused Emma to pull her hand away and step back towards Killian, watching in horror as Baelfire shuddered and fell to his knees.

“It’s so heavy.” he croaked, clawing at his chest as if he needed the heart back out. Emma was glancing down at her hands, flexing her fingers as she tried to make sure she wasn’t the person who had caused such pain. She hadn’t done anything wrong, but a decade without a heart was bound to lead to an overload of emotions once the heart was back in place, and Baelfire seemed to be feeling everything all at once. “I haven’t… it’s too much.”

“It’s not you. His heart. He’s feeling things he hasn’t felt in years.” Killian explained, watching the man try to pull himself together, his body trembling. “This isn’t because of you.” He stepped closer to the fallen man, hand outstretched. “Bae? How are you?”

Baelfire exhaled another shaky breath and then pushed Killian’s hand away, struggling back to his feet. “A son?” He stammered, a wide, red-rimmed gaze locked on the woman standing behind Killian. “We have a son? _I_ have a son?”

Killian turned around to look at Emma, noticing how she was still worrying her hands together, biting her lip, yet maintained eye contact with the angered man. “Yes. You would have known. If you hadn’t left me.”

“Or if you had told me?” Baelfire spat, but there was an ashamed flicker in his eyes following her words. “But you kept quiet about a lot of things. Both of you did. But a _son_? You were with me for a week. More than a week. And you said _nothing_. You only came to find me so that you could get your son back and yet all you did was keep the truth from me. I would have helped!”

Emma laughed, a choked, furious sound that Killian had never heard before. “Why would I tell you? The last time I saw you, well, you know what happened. And I’m sure you know what I woke up to.” She closed her eyes briefly as she breathed in, trying to calm herself down, and then she stepped forward, wrapping an arm around Killian’s waist and leaning against his side. He knew the move was provoking, causing Baelfire to roll his eyes and glower at them, but if Emma wanted to seek comfort with him, he wasn’t going to reject her to keep Baelfire happy. “I know why you left too, now. I didn’t for a very long time, and for years, I thought it was because of me. Killian helped me to realise that it wasn’t. So why would I ever tell you that I needed you to come back with me because your father had taken my son?”

“My father?” Baelfire repeated, his sudden shout surprising both Emma and Killian. “He has our son? And what, I go to him and you get your son back?”

Emma nodded. “Do what you want. You’re in this realm now. If you refuse to help me, your father can still find you. And he will. Or you could come with me, and finally make up for what you did.”

“Do you know what?” Baelfire asked, his expression still fierce. “It’s insulting how you hid everything from me. Everything! And you didn’t even try. This thing that you two have, whatever it is, you should have either told me the truth or at least kept up your lie, instead of using stupid excuses and pretending you weren’t always all over each other. And now this? A son? Taking me back to my father? Controlling me? Did you think that without a heart I wouldn’t care? Because it’s true. I didn’t. I tried to care. I tried to do the right thing and come back with you even though I didn’t really care. Because I knew I should. But if you had my heart and you were going to return it, did you never think how much all of that would hurt when I could _feel_ again?”

“No. And maybe we should have. But I’ve had a bit too much on my mind to really think about you. Henry is all I need to think about.”

“And another lie.” Baelfire chuckled cruelly. “Defend it all you want, but don’t say that. Our son may be all you _need_ to think about, but I’m rather certain you’ve thought plenty about that pirate you’ve wrapped yourself around.”

“He’s not our son.” Emma snapped, stepping away from Killian and running a hand down her face in exasperation. “You left. He’s my son. Now, I’m going to make sure Jefferson’s alright. You’re not the only one who has been through stuff these last few days. In fact, you’ve been through the least.”

Killian couldn’t stop his mouth quirking slightly when Emma stomped towards the cottage. Despite his worry, her angered, child-like walk was adorable, and it was only when Baelfire moved to follow her that Killian looked away.

“She’s said enough.” He said quietly, his words catching Baelfire’s attention. “Now you can help us, or I’ll knock you out and bring you to your father. You don’t have a choice in this matter. You took away enough of Emma’s happiness and I refuse to let you take away anymore.”

Baelfire stared at him for a moment and then laughed again, a disbelieving sound that made Killian frown at him in confusion. “Me? Take away happiness? Isn’t that all you’ve ever done?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“My mother. You took her away. You never considered that you might be taking away my happiness or my papa’s.” Killian tried to protest or explain, but Baelfire didn’t give him the opportunity. “Now you have Emma. And she was my happiness too. And maybe I left because I was scared of my papa finding me, but it doesn’t change what I felt for her. But now, when we’re finally reunited, you’re here and you’re with her and you make her happier than I ever did and that’s so hard. Because she deserves better. She’s brilliant. She always was. You’re nothing but darkness. We all saw you _kill_ Zelena and yet you think that you should be with her?”

“I don’t. I agree, she deserves better than a man like me.” His acknowledgement seemed to surprise Baelfire, his rage appearing to dissipate from him. “But it’s Emma’s choice.” His voice faded and it was with a quiet disbelief that he continued. “And she chose me. I don’t understand why. But she has. And that’s up to her.”

“No one ever chooses me.” Killian had thought the conversation had finished, Baelfire’s despondent expression having signified as much, but this time it was Baelfire who spoke when Killian began to move away. “My papa chose power. My mother, she chose you. No. You were right before. She chose freedom. It was just something that she happened to find with you. What is it about me that makes people choose a life without me?”

“What?”

“And I understand why Emma picked you. Because I did the same thing to her.” Baelfire admitted, his voice catching as he spoke. “I chose fear. And now I know that I lost everything.”

“I know you don’t believe me.” Killian stated, crossing the space between them so he could meet Baelfire’s gaze. “But I wanted to choose you. I wanted you to be like a son to me. I did the wrong thing when I gave you to the lost boys. I’m sorry. You have the chance now to do the right thing, what I didn’t do, and choose your son over your fear.”

“I’ve never met him, Hook. I didn’t know about him until now. I don’t know him.” Baelfire implored. “I’ve spent lifetimes running from my father and now you want me to go back to him, to choose my son over that? That’s what Emma wants?”

“That’s what Emma needs.” Killian insisted, a feeling of relief surging through him when Baelfire nodded. “You may not know Henry, but you’re choosing the chance to get to know him. We both know how it feels to be abandoned. Don’t you want him to know something different?”   

Baelfire stared at him, a searching look that made Killian fidget uncomfortably, and then he nodded. “I was wrong.” He exhaled heavily, looking up at the sky and shaking his head, almost as if he was embarrassed by his words. “At the fire, a couple of nights ago? I don’t think you’ve changed. Not yet. Not enough. But you can.”

~~~*~~~

Baelfire had retreated into the cottage to tell Emma that he agreed to help, Killian following behind him, and the words seemed to calm Emma down slightly. She had let Baelfire lead her outside, the man asking her questions about Henry, and Killian found himself in the cottage with only Jefferson for company.

“That’s the last favour I’m doing for you.” Jefferson told him with a laugh, the hatbox sealed and hidden under his bed. “Honestly, Hook. What I did for you is something you can never repay. We’re even now, so don’t try asking me for anything else. You may be my only friend, but I’m not doing something like that again.”

Killian chuckled, glancing through the small window to check on Emma and Baelfire, who both seemed to be feeling rather awkward, but at least they were talking. “Actually, mate, about that repayment? I do want to try.”

“What?” Jefferson asked, reclining on his bed with a happy sigh, yellowing bruises still marring his face. “Even now that your happy ending is literally a days walk away?”

“I need to be a better man before I can have a happy ending.” Killian explained, ignoring Jefferson’s scoff. “I need to at least try. I need to prove, to myself, that I can be a better man. Without Emma.”

“Why? It’s not like you’ll ever be without her again.” Jefferson sounded sincere, if a bit dubious, and Killian couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face at the thought of being with Emma for the rest of his life. “I don’t see why you can’t let yourself just be happy. She is.”

“Because I’ve never been happy like this and not had it ripped from me.” He answered honestly. Jefferson understood, Killian knew that much, and if he wanted to talk to anyone about the thoughts he had had on their trek back through Oz, Jefferson was the one to speak to. “I have to know that if I lose Emma, I won’t become the man I was before. Her presence can’t be the only thing that keeps me from being… well, Captain Hook. Because she deserves better than that. She has enough to worry about without having to concern herself with my disposition.”

“So what? You’re choosing to help me instead of her?”

“For a bit. Of course, I’m going to make sure she gets her son back first. And then I’ll join you, get you your daughter back, and then return to her side.” Jefferson looked surprised at the mention of his daughter, and Killian realised that despite his promise to assist the hatter in Oz, Jefferson had never taken his oath seriously. “Well, I’ll help for a while. I don’t want to be apart from Emma for too long. She can’t ever worry that I abandoned her the way Baelfire did.”

“A while is better than no time at all.” Jefferson grinned. “And it’ll be just like old times. Back when we were in Neverland together, causing trouble.”

“Except I’m trying to be better.”

Jefferson nodded reluctantly, clearly doubting Killian’s ability to actually do what he was saying, but trying to be supportive. “I am happy for your help, Killian. But if I’m going to get my Grace back, I need to be better too. And I wouldn’t be better if I didn’t try to reason with you. Leaving Emma, is it a risk you’re willing to take? You leave her alone and you might lose her. And why be a better man when you have no one to be a better man for?”

“She loves me, Jefferson.” Killian’s voice broke slightly, his own certainty something he had never expected to have. “But it’s not just her I want to be better for. It’s for me. For Liam.”

Jefferson looked away, and Killian wondered if Jefferson didn’t know how to respond anymore, but then the cottage door opened behind them and Baelfire and Emma joined them in the room. Killian reached for Emma, her hand entwining with his and pulled her into his side, pressing a tender kiss to her temple, ignoring the confused look she shot him.

He had to leave her for a while, but not a day would go by where he wouldn’t think of her.

 

~~~*~~~

Despite being tired of walking, their final days of trekking through Sherwood were spent in lively conversation. Baelfire seemed keen to hear everything he could about the son he was about to meet, and although he remained silent about it, Killian too was interested in hearing about Henry. Not only did he hope to one day be a large part of the childs life, but Emma lit up when she spoke about him, the love she felt for her son practically tangible.

Even though the Dark One’s palace was home to only bad memories, Emma grew even more excited when the turrets finally came into view, her smile radiant when she turned from Baelfire to look at Killian.

She took his hand when they reached the gate, which swung open the instant they stood before it.

“I take it that Papa knows we’re here.” Baelfire muttered, gesturing for the two of them to go before him. “I will be there. I promise. Just give me a minute.”

After staring at him for a moment, Emma nodded and then she and Killian stepped through the gate, following the route through the palace that was shown to them by the opening doors.

Rumplestiltskin was waiting for them, sitting expectantly at the end of a large table. When he saw the two of them, he sighed dramatically. “I have to say that I was hoping the pirate would have tragically died during your adventure.” Emma gripped his hand tighter as Killian rolled his eyes. “Now, you remember what our deal was. I can’t see my son.”

“He’s here.” Emma promised, her voice shaking slightly. “And I do remember our deal. I can’t see my son either.”

“You’ll see Henry when I see Baelfire.” The Dark One clicked his fingers and a small bottle appeared in his hands. He shook it, finger tapping against the glass sides, and then smirked at the two of them. “And then you get to watch your son drink this, and see the curse I placed on him get broken.”

They stood in an awkward silence for a few moments, Emma taking the bottle from Rumplestiltskin and then waiting for Baelfire to arrive in the room. Killian couldn’t see the door, but he knew the instant Baelfire arrived because Rumplestiltskin’s eyes widened and he trembled slightly, appearing more human than Killian could ever have expected.

“Bae?” The Crocodile stood up, hesitating before crossing the room to his son. Baelfire held an arm out, forcing his father to keep his distance.

“Emma gets to see Henry first.” He stated firmly. “You’re going to keep your deal.”

The Dark One didn’t even hesitate, flourishing his hands, and then Killian could hear the creak of a door opening and an overjoyed gasp from Emma and then Baelfire’s family reunion didn’t seem as interesting anymore.

He watched Emma instead, how she stumbled slightly during her dash over to her son’s side and then wrapped him in a tight embrace, Henry’s arms around her immediately. She was crying, but at the same time a radiant smile was lighting up her face, and he’d never seen her look so happy.

Killian felt very out of place, two reunions taking place either side of him, and both of them something he wasn’t part of. Emma’s meeting with her son seemed be going far more smoothly than Baelfire and Rumplestiltskin’s, the two of them having already fallen into what appeared to be a one-sided argument, Baelfire refusing to let his father get a word out between his furious shouting.

He refused to listen. It wasn’t something he should be involved in. He focussed on Emma, a fond smile crossing his face when she began to rain kisses down on her son’s forehead. Henry was grumbling about it but was cuddling closer to her, only moving away when Emma nudged his head back so she could give him the potion. He coughed, was engulfed in a brief glow of red light and then he seemed fine, pulling his mother back towards him, his head pillowed on her stomach, arms locked around her.

“You’re alright?” Emma was whispering, her voice urgent, and she relaxed only when Henry nodded. “You knew I’d come back, didn’t you? That I’d do anything to be back with you?”

“I knew.” It was just two words, but it was enough to make Emma fall to her knees, Henry almost sprawled across her as she held him even tighter, kissed him again.

Henry’s eyes closed, and he appeared to just enjoy the hug. Emma nuzzled her nose into his hair and then looked up, glancing from Baelfire to Killian, and then to his surprise, she tilted her head in a gesture for him to join them.

Killian hesitated for a moment and then rushed to her side, hovering uncomfortably until she took one arm away from her son and grabbed his hand. She pulled him closer and then let go, her arm returning to its place around her son as Killian wrapped his around her shoulders.

“I tried not to think about it,” Emma whispered, her words directed at Killian. “But I worried I’d never get this. With Henry. With you.”

“I would have done anything to make sure you saw your son again.” he replied, the words murmured into her ear so Henry wouldn’t overhear. “I’d have given anything so you could have this.”

“And you’ve done more than you ever needed to.” she replied, and then she turned away and used one hand to gently take her son’s chin and tilt his head back again so she could meet his eyes. “Henry? I know everything’s already been very different for the last few months, but I don’t want to ever keep anything from you. I know I’ve never said much about your father, but he’s here and he wants to meet you.”

Henry blinked, and then, to Killian’s shock, he turned his gaze towards him. “Is it you?”

Killian panicked, stepping away from Emma and shaking his head a bit too quickly. He noticed, too well, Emma’s slightly upset look, and he realised that she could have misread his response and thought that Henry considering him to be his father was something he wouldn’t want, but he couldn’t correct her. This was a moment he couldn’t take from Baelfire.

“No, lad.” He answered, looking to Emma for an explanation for his presence, but she was still frowning at him. “I’m not your father. I _would_ like to get to know you though. Your mother and I are rather close.”

“Then who are you?” Henry asked, glancing from his mother to Killian and looking very confused. “And who’s my dad?”

“This is Killian.” Emma stated, her frown having faded slightly after Killian’s answer. “But your father is Baelfire. He’s Rumplestiltskin’s son.”

“The man shouting at Grandpa?” Henry looked completely thrown by Emma’s response, but Killian imagined it could be confusing to be told that the father you were about to meet wasn’t the strange man with his arm wrapped around your mother’s shoulders. “He’s very loud.”

Emma laughed, pulling her son in for another quick cuddle. “He’s not always. And he wants to meet you. I know I should have told you about him before, Henry, but I didn’t think I’d ever see him again. He really does want to get to know you though.”

“I’d like to know my father.” Henry admitted, his voice muffled by Emma’s embrace. “But I want to know Killian too, because he has a hook for a hand and that’s really exciting.”

“Exciting?” Killian repeated, a grin spreading across his face when Emma threw her head back to laugh, one hand releasing her son so she could take a hold of his hook. “I guess there’s a first for everything.”

“I don’t know.” Emma muttered, leaning towards him so she could murmur in his ear. “I find the hook quite exciting too.”

He raised his eyebrows at her, grin widening when she kissed just below his ear and then returned her attention to her son.

If things could be this easy, leaving was going to be so much harder.

~~~*~~~

_“Well, I’m grateful for everything, but I’d like to get out of Wonderland sooner, rather than later.” Killian stated, watching the hatter clap his hands together in an attempt to beat the dust from his fingers. “This entire trip has been an utter waste of my time. The only thing I’ve learnt is that I need to get out of my realm in case this curse hits, but I’d much rather be cursed than remain in this disaster of a land.”_

_“You’re not from Wonderland then?” Jefferson questioned, his eyes wide and imploring. “Did you get here by looking glass? Or another way? How did you get here?”_

_Killian scrutinized the madman for a few seconds, then decided to answer. His murder of the Queen of Hearts suggested he was a potential ally, albeit a unpredictably dangerous one, and someone with knowledge of the curious land would be welcome. “I was assisted by a Queen from another realm, Regina.”_

_He hadn’t expected the hatter to gape at him, his fists clenching and a furious glint entering his eyes. “You used my hat.” Jefferson didn’t even give Killian a moment to say anything in confirmation, stepping closer to him and grasping at the pirate’s collar, standing uncomfortably close. “How many people? How many came through with you? Were you alone?”_

_Killian shoved the man back, watching as the man swallowed and then shook himself, as if he was trying to calm himself down. “Your hat? Is that why you’ve made so many here? So you can leave this place?”_

_“Yes. And the amount of people who go through the hat has to be same number of people that return through it. Please. How many came through with you?” Jefferson’s eyes narrowed and then he smirked. “If it was more than one person, I think we could come to some sort of arrangement. I used to be a man who travelled much and if you take me back with you, I can get you what you need to escape this curse.”_

_“I would need a portal in the sea, for my ship and my crew. Could you get me a magic bean?”_

_“Easily.” Jefferson agreed. “I can get you some. I’m guessing you’ll need more than one, if you ever want to make a return trip.”_

_“You can truly get me one? Because if so, there is a space open for a return trip to the Enchanted Forest. You do seem more helpful than the corpse of our dearly departed Queen. If I can trust you, that is.”_

_“One more thing.” Jefferson began, sounding surprisingly nervous. “Should I choose not to remain in the Enchanted Forest, which could be a wise choice given these rumours of_

_a curse, or if there’s nothing for me there, may I remain with you? I can be useful. My hat allows me to obtain anything from any realm with magic, should you need it, and if you let me accompany you and your crew, I will fetch things for you. Make sure we both get something out of this… partnership.”_

_Killian thought about it, amused by the irritation on the hatter’s face, something that became more and more apparent with each second Killian spent in thought. Eventually, he offered his hand for the hatter to shake, agreeing to the man’s deal. “Alright.” he stated. “But one amendment. If you do anything like what you did just then, to Cora? You’re walking the plank. If you’re on my ship, you’re in my crew and I need people I trust on my crew. Is that you?”_

_“I suppose you’ll have to find out.”_

~~~*~~~

Despite the fact that he had been introduced to Henry, Killian had spent longer simply standing by Emma and her son as she recited tales of their travels in this realm and in the other. Baelfire’s voice had quietened, but he had yet to embrace his father the way Rumplestiltskin seemed to have expected.

When Baelfire abandoned his father in order to meet his son, Killian stepped aside, letting them have a moment together, as a family. He still kept his gaze on them, but couldn’t hear their conversation, his new location by the window too far away.

They looked happy.

Perhaps now would be a good time to leave. Not without a goodbye or an explanation, of course, but Emma had spent months looking for her son, and surely she would welcome some time to spend purely with him.

Unfortunately, that meant he needed to tell her now.

He refused to pull her away from her family.

Yet after a few more minutes, Emma extricated herself from the small huddle and joined him. “What is it? Something’s wrong.”

“You don’t need to worry about me right now, my love. You should be with your son.” He replied quietly, watching her hand as it reached out to take his. “Rumplestiltskin kept him from you for long enough.”

“He wants to speak to his father.” Emma admitted, sounding slightly annoyed. As exciting as it might be for Henry to meet Baelfire, Killian could tell Emma had wished for more time without Baelfire there. “Alone.” She paused, bit her lip and turned to look at him with wide eyes. “Baelfire apparently convinced the Dark One to magic us home whenever we’re ready. Back to the palace, I mean. I could actually see my parents again. Today. Are you ready to meet them?”

He wasn’t. If even he thought he was undeserving of Emma, surely her parents would agree. A centuries old pirate was not a good match for a crown princess, especially one as good and brilliant as Emma. “Emma, I-”

“You’re not.” she stated, eyebrows furrowing as she turned back to face her son and his father. “I understand. We’ve never really discussed that. It doesn’t matter. We don’t need to rely on Rumplestiltskin to get home. The Jolly Roger could take us back and I know Henry would absolutely love it.”

Killian stared at her, too many thoughts running through his mind. The idea of months with Emma and Henry on the Jolly Roger, the way Emma had spoken about back before they ever reached Rumplestiltskin, was amazing. But he had made up his mind, and this was the only time he had to let her know. “I love you.” The words caused Emma to smile, stepping closer to him and resting her hands on his arms. “And I didn’t think I would ever have someone who loved me like you do, especially after everything I have done.”

“Why are you talking like this?”

“Meeting you made me want to be a good man, Emma.” he told her, unable to meet her eyes as he told her what he had been thinking of over the past few days. “I think when I lost Liam, I lost part of myself. And I only found it again when I found you. All of me loves you, Swan. Now I need to know that I’m worthy of you and that the part of me that is a good man isn’t only back when I’m with you. I know you love me, despite everything, but you deserve a good man and I need to make sure that’s me, because I’m in love with you. I need to know I can be good. Without you.”

“Without me?” she repeated, her gaze wide and horrified and locked on him, her grip on his arms tightening. “Why? You _are_ a good man. If this is about Zelena, things just got out of hand and there really was no other way to stop her. Please don’t leave me. Not now.”

“Now is the best time.” Killian insisted, hating how upset Emma was. “Because you have Henry now. And I’m not leaving. I will be back for you. I could never abandon you. I need to try though, to be better.”

Emma stared at him, lips trembling, obviously taken-aback by his sudden announcement. Then, with a sob, she pulled him towards her, letting him wrap his arms around her as she nuzzled into his neck. “You have to come back. Please. One month? I don’t want to be without you for longer than that. I just lost Henry for _so_ long and I can’t face it again.”

“But you understand why I’m doing this? That it’s not you?”

“I do. If this is is really what you need to do to believe in yourself the way I believe in you, then okay.” She sounded earnest, and once again Killian couldn’t understand how he had been lucky enough to love someone like her, or to have her love him in return. “Just please come back to me.”

“Always.”

He would have said more, but Henry was calling out for his mother. Emma went to him immediately, quickly making Killian promise not to leave yet, and then was dragged into conversation with Baelfire.  

She had requested only one month apart, and he was eager to comply. Any longer without her, after months together, would be torture. He worried that it wasn’t long enough, but if that was what Emma wanted, that was what he would do. He would be back at her side in a month, regardless of whether or not he believed himself to be better. He may want to be the man she deserved, but becoming that person was not worth abandoning her.

Killian was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Henry’s appearance beside him until the boy grabbed his hook and tugged at it. “Yes?”

“They’re deciding when I can see my dad.” Henry explained without any prompting, pointing over at Emma and Baelfire. “Because I’ll still live in the palace with Mom but this place is really far away. But that doesn’t matter because Grandpa can poof my dad to see me whenever he feels like it.”

“I’m sure you’ll see him, lad.”

“Me too. But that’s not why I am here.” The boy was frowning at him, appearing very serious about whatever he was about to say, and Killian made sure to give the child his complete attention. “My mom’s been crying and I know it’s because of you. Why?”

Killian knelt down so he was a similar height to the boy, “Because I have to go away for awhile.”

“You’re leaving? But you’ve just got here. Why are you going?”

“Because I want to be better.”

“But you look at her the way Grandpa, my other Grandpa, looks at Grandma. Don’t you love her?” Henry looked so confused, and Killian doubted he could ever explain his motivations to the boy. Emma had told him enough stories of her parents for him to know how loving her family was, and it seemed very likely that, to Henry, love was all someone needed. As much as Killian wanted to agree, sometimes things were more complicated. “Isn’t that enough?”

“I love her more than anything.” Killian told Henry, which only seemed to confuse the boy even more. “So I want to be a good man. Which is what makes things complicated, Henry.”

“You know my name?”

“Of course. Do you think your mother didn’t tell me about you?” Henry shrugged in response and Killian chuckled. “She took every chance she could to rhapsodize about you. She really missed you.”

“I don’t know anything about you.”

“Well, you will. One day.” It felt strange to have Henry so interested in him, especially now that Killian could see his resemblance to Baelfire. “For now, I just want you to know that in one month, I’ll be at the docks. Make sure your mother’s there too.”

“The docks?” Henry asked, the word lighting up his eyes and appearing to have piqued his interest. “Do you have a ship?”

“Aye.”

“Then you have to come back! You have to take me sailing.” Henry crowed, his enthusiasm surprising Killian. “I love ships. Although I’ve never actually been on one before. I collect wooden models of them though.”

“I know. Your mother told me.” He grinned, his voice lowering to a playful murmur. “And I promise you a real ship is better than a small wooden one. I even told your mother I’d teach you everything about sailing, if that’s what you want.”

“I do!” Henry stepped back and stared at him, gazing intently at Killian to the point where it began to make Killian feel uncomfortable, as if the child was sizing him up and judging him, making a final decision on what he thought about the pirate. “I think I like you. But I won’t if you don’t come back. If you make my mom unhappy.”

“Good. That’s giving me another incentive to return.” He joked, growing serious when Henry raised an eyebrow at him. “Not that your mother wasn’t incentive enough.” Henry grinned at him, the smile the same as the one Baelfire had given him centuries before, when it had been him at the helm.

Baelfire could sail. Baelfire should be the one to teach his son how to read the stars and man the helm.

“Your father can sail.” Killian stated awkwardly, Henry peering up at him. “Wouldn’t you rather learn with him? I’m sure he’d like to teach you.”

Henry shrugged. “I can do other things with him. If you come back, I want to spend time with you too. Because if you come back, you’ll never leave again, right?” Killian swallowed, Henry’s acceptance of him was something he had imagined would have been much harder to receive. “Because you love her?”

Killian simply nodded, reaching out to ruffle the boys hair and grinning when Henry chuckled and squirmed away.

It was at that moment he realised Emma was nearby, watching him and Henry with a small smile and watery eyes. Henry ran over and pulled her towards them, grinning widely as he looked between the two adults. When they merely stared at each other for a few minutes, Henry nudged Killian’s side, as if there was something he was supposed to do.

He wasn’t sure what.

“One month.” He began, Henry nodded in approval, and he realised Henry, for whatever reason, wanted to hear the goodbye. “One month and then I’ll be back at your side. I’ll find you.”

Henry’s grin widened and he spun to face his mother, watching for her reaction. “You’ll find me?” Emma repeated, quieter than a whisper.

“Haven’t you noticed, Swan? We always find each other.”

“Of course you do.” Henry piped up, looking amused by his mother’s wide-eyed expression. “It’s true love. When it’s true love, you always find each other. At least what Grandpa says.”

There was silence for a few moments, Killian unable to look away from Emma, watching her face as she stepped closer to him and took his face gently in her hands, tilting his head down so their foreheads were touching. He swallowed, Henry’s words stuck in his mind, and then he nudged closer, lips brushing against hers, aware that her son was standing beside them and watching their every move. “He’s right. I’m pretty certain it’s true love.”

“You can’t say that when you’re about to go.” she replied, and he heard the slight sob she tried to hide. “Say it again when you get back.”

She looked down at her son, Killian doing the same, and then laughed brokenly when Henry raised his eyebrows expectantly and then pointedly looked away. The moment her son wasn’t looking, Emma tugged Killian close, mouth pressing against his in a desperate, hurried kiss.

“Goodbye.” she whispered.

“It’s not goodbye.” Killian promised. “We will see each other again. Never doubt that.”

One more kiss to her lips and then she released him, taking her son in her arms and then nodding at Baelfire.

Rumplestiltskin clicked his fingers, there was a burst of red smoke and then she was gone.

And Killian was alone.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end...  
> BUT IT WILL BE CONTINUED IN ONE MORE STORY "THE FALSE QUEEN", THE FIRST CHAPTER OF WHICH WILL BE POSTED SOMETIME IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS!
> 
> I'd like to thank every single person who has read this story! And everyone who left kudos, or who commented. And a massive thank you to Hawkeye733, who betaed every chapter (sometimes for hours!)


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